{"id":4005,"date":"2013-02-18T12:01:49","date_gmt":"2013-02-18T17:01:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4005"},"modified":"2013-01-25T13:54:50","modified_gmt":"2013-01-25T18:54:50","slug":"do-you-feel-inadequate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html","title":{"rendered":"Do You Feel Inadequate?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation<\/strong><\/a> I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>\u2122 to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I\u2019d found the right one. At the first session, she asked why I thought I hadn\u2019t gotten further along on my own. I told her that I felt inadequate. She was shocked that someone with all of my accomplishments could say that and insisted that I never use that word about myself again.<\/p>\n

I disagreed, to some extent. I was inadequate–from a lack of knowledge. I was inadequate because I had no support system to get advice from. I know I\u2019m smart and very adequate in general. But I was just lacking the know-how for doing something I\u2019d never done before. I had no one to ask, \u201cIs this written properly or what\u2019s the best way to___?\u201d\u00a0The Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>\u2122 means a lot to me. After hating myself for many years and finally developing a strong sense of self-love, I wanted to give back. After telling my agent not to sell my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/strong><\/a>, I was excited to help people by giving it away for free.<\/p>\n

But I didn\u2019t want to fly by the seat of my pants for this one. I needed to do it right because this movement was so important to me.<\/p>\n

My inadequacy came from needing the blanks of my knowledge filled in. That\u2019s what most inadequacy means. People say they feel inadequate when they don\u2019t feel good enough to do something. That feels lousy. When I was a DoorMat I had a lot of those kinds of feelings. Fortunately I learned, albeit the hard way, that you can go from feeling inadequate to being even more than adequate when you pinpoint EXACTLY what makes you feel that way and make an effort to fill in the blanks like I did.<\/p>\n

You might feel inadequate at work if you\u2019re not up to speed on computer functions or some other skill you lack. Fix it by taking a class or finding someone who can teach you one-on-one. Sometimes you can find a student who\u2019d like to make a few bucks who\u2019d come and show you step by step how to do it. Or you may feel inadequate because you don\u2019t feel your appearance shines like the others you work with. I had that too years ago! I asked some friends to go shopping with me. I also got a good haircut and went to a store and let them show me how to do my makeup.<\/p>\n

As I said, inadequacy usually comes form something you lack that can be rectified with a little effort. Write down exactly what made you feel inadequate, Make a whole list. Then, with objectivity, review your list and choose the easiest one to fix. Write that aspect down and the steps to get past it. Find your weaknesses and strengthen them! Then you can feel very adequate, which increases confidence. I feel super good now about what I’m doing and you can too!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement\u2122 to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I\u2019d found the right one. At the first session, she asked why I thought I hadn\u2019t gotten further along on…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[604,603,88],"class_list":["post-4005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-building-confidence","tag-inadequacy","tag-self-empowerment"],"yoast_head":"\nDo You Feel Inadequate? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Feel Inadequate? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement\u2122 to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I\u2019d found the right one. At the first session, she asked why I thought I hadn\u2019t gotten further along on…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-02-18T17:01:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-01-25T18:54:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/10\/hands-over-face-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Do You Feel Inadequate? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Do You Feel Inadequate? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement\u2122 to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I\u2019d found the right one. At the first session, she asked why I thought I hadn\u2019t gotten further along on…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2013-02-18T17:01:49+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-01-25T18:54:50+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/10\/hands-over-face-300x225.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html","name":"Do You Feel Inadequate? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/10\/hands-over-face-300x225.jpg","datePublished":"2013-02-18T17:01:49+00:00","dateModified":"2013-01-25T18:54:50+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/10\/hands-over-face-300x225.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/10\/hands-over-face-300x225.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/do-you-feel-inadequate.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Do You Feel Inadequate?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4005"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4007,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4005\/revisions\/4007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}