{"id":394,"date":"2010-08-03T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-03T12:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html"},"modified":"2010-08-03T12:01:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-03T12:01:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for * LOA logo2.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124-thumb-199x257-15729.jpg\" class=\"mt-image-left\" style=\"float: left;margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt\" height=\"257\" width=\"199\" \/><\/a><\/span>This is post 98 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/Law-of-Attraction-in-Action-Series.html\">Law of Attraction in Action Series<\/a> to see how.<\/p>\n<p>When we&#8217;re DoorMats, our need to please everyone makes us tolerate almost all the bad behavior people throw at us. As we strive to feel empowered, our tolerance can go out the window. When anger makes you stop being on people pleaser autopilot, you may feel like you shouldn&#8217;t tolerate anything you don&#8217;t like. <\/p>\n<p><b>Intolerance of other people&#8217;s flaws tells the Universe that you only seek perfection in your world, which is impossible.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>If you wonder why you&#8217;re losing friends, that could be the reason. If you can&#8217;t tolerate the flaws of people you care about, why should they tolerate yours? I know how it feels to want to eliminate annoying behavior once you&#8217;ve woken up and decided to leave DoorMatville. After tolerating so much hurtful or annoying stuff for so long, I felt a need to take a stand on everything. <\/p>\n<p><b>Then I remembered I didn&#8217;t want to go to extremes, as I said in my post <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/07\/be-the-cream-in-an-oreo.html\">Be the Cream in an Oreo<\/a>.<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>So I learned to set reasonable boundaries on what was unacceptable&#8211;like putting me down, selfishly demanding more time than I wanted to give, being mean, trying to borrow money when they already owe me from before, or anything that hurts or makes me unhappy. Those are unacceptable. Really unacceptable! Buh-bye kind of stuff! If what someone does regularly creates serious negatives emotions in you, it must be stopped, no matter what excuse the person gives you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Then there are things that are annoying but not meant to hurt you&#8211;habits you don&#8217;t like, idiosyncrasies, doing something differently than you do, etc.<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>These shouldn&#8217;t be deal breakers. Leaving clothing on the floor can be addressed if you speak nicely and let him know. You can explain to her that she keeps you on the phone too long and you want to keep calls shorter in the future. So he folds the laundry in a different way than you think is the right way or she cracks her knuckles or he refuses to ask directions yet always gets you lost or she always underestimates how much something will cost. Or any of the gazillion other annoying qualities someone might have. <\/p>\n<p><b>Distinguish between unacceptable and annoying behaviors and be more tolerant of what annoys you.<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t expect perfection in others if you can&#8217;t be perfect yourself. Since perfection is impossible to achieve all the time, you&#8217;ll find yourself attracting frustration about why you can&#8217;t meet people who fit your new standards of doing everything the way you think life should be. Tolerance is a key to all good relationships, whether it&#8217;s with a romantic partner, friend, co-worker, parent, child, neighbor, etc. <\/p>\n<p><b>Good relationships with the people in your life is one of the best sources of pleasure and good health. Butting heads often is the opposite<\/b>. <\/p>\n<p>Showing tolerance to others attracts a better ability to be accepting of your own flaws or annoying qualities. The more you accept others, the greater the chance that you&#8217;ll accept yourself. Tolerance attracts tolerance. Having it makes you a better person! Setting boundaries on what behavior you will and won&#8217;t accept&#8211;using a tolerant attitude&#8211;will attract more self-love and relaxed relationships. Not getting bent out of shape over every little annoying thing will attract more happiness.<\/p>\n<p>See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series <b><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/Law-of-Attraction-in-Action-Series.html\">here<\/a><\/b>. <\/p>\n<p><b>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is post 98 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When we&#8217;re DoorMats, our need to please everyone makes us&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,1,14,2,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-law-of-attraction-in-action-series","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is post 98 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When we&#8217;re DoorMats, our need to please everyone makes us&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-08-03T12:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124-thumb-199x257-15729.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"This is post 98 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When we&#8217;re DoorMats, our need to please everyone makes us&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2010-08-03T12:01:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124-thumb-199x257-15729.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html","name":"Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124-thumb-199x257-15729.jpg","datePublished":"2010-08-03T12:01:00+00:00","dateModified":"2010-08-03T12:01:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124-thumb-199x257-15729.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/06\/*%20LOA%20logo2-thumb-199x257-12791-thumb-199x257-13663-thumb-199x257-14585-thumb-199x257-15083-thumb-199x257-15124-thumb-199x257-15729.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/08\/law-of-attraction-in-action-tolerance.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Law of Attraction in Action: Tolerance"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}