{"id":3914,"date":"2013-01-28T12:01:27","date_gmt":"2013-01-28T17:01:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3914"},"modified":"2013-01-10T23:27:52","modified_gmt":"2013-01-11T04:27:52","slug":"who-is-stopping-you-from-the-life-you-want-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/who-is-stopping-you-from-the-life-you-want-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Who Is Stopping You from the Life You Want?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month<\/a><\/strong> with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>\u2122.<\/em><\/p>\n

In my workshops and with clients, I often ask, \u201cWho is stopping you from getting what you want?\u201d I usually get a cascade of answers from people ready to blame others for their lack of progress, for not being able to follow their dreams and whatever else they haven\u2019t been able to get. It\u2019s so easy to blame others for your lack of something or for things that go wrong:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cMy mother makes me feel like I can never do anything right.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cMy boss favors Sally because she always flirts with him so how can I get ahead?\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cPeople tell me I\u2019m too old to go after a new career.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cHow can I devote time to writing when the kids are always around?\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cMy boy\/girlfriend wants so much of my time that I have none left for what I want.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAren\u2019t I supposed to get married and let my husband\u2019s career be the priority?\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAren\u2019t I supposed to make having a job that provides for my family more important than pursuing the career I\u2019d love?\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0And the most common: \u201cAren\u2019t I supposed to try please people to get everyone to like me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Choices. We all make them, often based on beliefs from other people. Those beliefs can be related to your sex or age or traditions. It\u2019s YOUR CHOICE to buy into these beliefs or to decide to create your own beliefs, based on what you want to accomplish. The people you blame for not being able to create the life you want can\u2019t stop you if you CHOOSE not to let them. They\u2019re usually excuses you make for not trying to go after the life you want.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re not happy with your life, ask yourself who is stopping you. The most common answer is:<\/p>\n

YOU!<\/strong><\/p>\n

People can put you down but it\u2019s only your truth if you let it be. Even if your boss favors someone else, doing good work that stands out will pay off or if it seems like a dead end you can find another job. People told me it was too late to reinvent myself when I got divorced and had I listened, I wouldn\u2019t have the career I have now.\u00a0 When you truly want to pursue a passion you can find a way to carve out some ME time. And old relationship roles don\u2019t have to stand anymore. You have a right to have a career you love.<\/p>\n

The more I loved myself, the more I let go of needing to please everyone and \u201cdo the right thing.\u201d I didn\u2019t get approval from family and friends when I became the first white female rapper on a dare or when I started a record label. But I needed a creative outlet and did it anyway. One of my clients told me he was married for a long time and stayed in his family\u2019s business to support his wife and daughter. He\u2019d stifled his passions for twenty years! His daughter was in college and her tuition was saved. But his wife refused to consider that he wanted to quit his job and do something he\u2019d wanted for all the years.<\/p>\n

He got the courage to start his life over by working on building his self-love. Each week I\u2019d ask \u201cDo you love yourself enough to not let anyone stop you from following your passion?\u201d Slowly his answers went from \u201cI\u2019m not sure\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m getting there.\u201d One day he began by telling me to ask the question. He was excited to say he loved himself enough to not be deprived of his dreams anymore. After one too many fights with his wife about his wanting to start a business he was passionate about he decided to get divorced. He\u2019d save his money and his family was provided for. He got a teeny studio, lived sparingly and said he was never happier because he was doing what he loved.<\/p>\n

My client blamed his family for twenty years. Learning to love himself helped him recognize it was his choice to go along with what they expected of him. So who\u2019s stopping you from having the life you\u2019d like? Work on loving yourself more so you can be motivated by love to override what others say and go after your dreams. It\u2019s NEVER too late to build a happy life! And you only have one so don\u2019t waste it blaming others. Love yourself enough to make yourself happy!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join The <\/strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2012 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. In my workshops and with clients, I often ask, \u201cWho is stopping you from getting what you want?\u201d I usually get a cascade of answers from people ready…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,15],"tags":[27],"class_list":["post-3914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-self-love"],"yoast_head":"\nWho Is Stopping You from the Life You Want? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/who-is-stopping-you-from-the-life-you-want-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Who Is Stopping You from the Life You Want? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. In my workshops and with clients, I often ask, \u201cWho is stopping you from getting what you want?\u201d I usually get a cascade of answers from people ready…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/who-is-stopping-you-from-the-life-you-want-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-01-28T17:01:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-01-11T04:27:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Who Is Stopping You from the Life You Want? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/who-is-stopping-you-from-the-life-you-want-2.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Who Is Stopping You from the Life You Want? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3914"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3914\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3916,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3914\/revisions\/3916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}