{"id":3910,"date":"2013-01-27T12:01:02","date_gmt":"2013-01-27T17:01:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3910"},"modified":"2013-01-10T16:55:21","modified_gmt":"2013-01-10T21:55:21","slug":"make-some-space-for-just-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/make-some-space-for-just-you.html","title":{"rendered":"Make Some Space for Just You"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month<\/a><\/strong> with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>\u2122.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m happy to have DeAnna Radaj<\/strong><\/a>, as my guest today. She\u2019s an “Eco-Shui” designer, writer, consultant who helps those who are looking to lead a more healthy,\u00a0balanced & proactive lifestyle and author of the books Designing the Life of Your Dreams From the Outside In and Feng Shui for Teens.\u00a0Today she shares how to create your own person sanctuary to relax in. Her tips are general and while she give different ones for men and women, it\u2019s fine to choose what\u2019s right for you. Here\u2019s what she has to say:<\/p>\n

Creating a Personal Sanctuary<\/strong>
\nBy DeAnna Radaj<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

We’ve all heard the term \u201cMAN\u201c or \u201cMOM\u201c caves, right? But what do these terms REALLY mean?\u00a0 What feelings or experiences are they trying to invoke? .Personal Sanctuary is the generic description of both of these \u201cspecial\u201c spaces, and is a space that is a highly personalized, comfortable room (or corner, garden, bath or garage\u2026) in which the occupant can relax and\/or indulge in their favorite activities…a place where the proverbial “Calgon take me away” moment in time can occur. A personal sanctuary is a space where you can just be.<\/p>\n

When I’ve been asked to design these spaces for my clients (typically a home office that also serves as THEIR space), one of the most important things is designing a room that is peaceful, rejuvenating and a sanctuary.\u00a0Now, while “peaceful & sanctuary” vary by person, general themes that have appeared are:
\nFor Women:<\/strong>
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Soft, pastel colors in warm tones (think pinks, creams, soft yellows & greens)
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Lots of candles & other things that smell good (potpourri, pillow sachets)
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0A comfy chair for reading or for chatting on the phone with friends
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Thick pile rug (either carpeting or area rug)
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Table for “stuff” (i.e. for crafts, wrapping gifts)
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0A door that can be shut<\/p>\n

For Men:<\/strong>
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A color scheme that matches their favorite sports team
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Space to display any trophies, sporting memorabilia or collections
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Over-stuffed furniture
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As big a TV as can fit with a lot of electrical outlets to plug in all the electronics
\n\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A door that can be shut<\/p>\n

I’d like to take this a couple of steps further.\u00a0When creating a personal sanctuary, it is imperative that you truly make it your own.\u00a0This is YOUR space after all.\u00a0 If having a bookcase to hold your romance novel collection or scrapbooks is one thing that is a necessity, then by all means do so. If you are an avid hunter, THIS is the space to display all of your hunting trophies.<\/p>\n

A great display tip I incorporate in my designs is installing shelving at “just below” plate rail height (typically 9-12\u201con the wall below the ceiling line).\u00a0 This will act as storage space and also as a form of “artwork” as the books\/trophies become part of the design scheme.\u00a0 This shelving can also be used to display pictures, a doll (or any other) collection, sports memorabilia or whatever else you’d like to display.<\/p>\n

If you love Donny Osmond (!), here is where you can display all your albums (remember those?) as artwork on the walls.\u00a0 Have a cat collection?\u00a0 Display all the figurines, stuffed animals or whatever…here.\u00a0 This is your space to be surrounded by things you love.\u00a0If you love the color turquoise as it\u2018s part of your favorite sports team, but it doesn’t really fit with the main color scheme in the rest of the home, you can use it in here!\u00a0 Think pillows, throws, area rugs or desk accessories, or even striping on the wall!\u00a0 This is the place to make your unique style known.<\/p>\n

Now, for those in smaller spaces, you may have to share a room…that’s OK.\u00a0 Whether you have to split the room down the middle (remember the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy put tape down the center of the bedroom?), or the room simply has to be used by 2 people, then there does need to be some compromise as to color on the walls\/floor & furniture in the room.\u00a0 Here are some tips:<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Remember the 60-30-10 rule for choosing a color scheme.\u00a0 60% is your primary color (wall\/floor), 30% is your secondary color (furniture, trim, cabinetry) and 10% is accent color (pillows, throws, desk accessories, frames, flowers).\u00a0 Agree on the 60 & the 30, and then divide the 10 to help differentiate whose space is whose (think desk accessories, pillows on individual chairs, flowers on desk or side table).<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Each gets a shelf or bookcase to display their stuff-with no comment from the other!\u00a0 (I do have a friend whose husband lives in harmony with her Donny Osmond photo screen, while she lives with his hunting trophies).<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Create a schedule so that when one is using the “sanctuary” they can truly relax & enjoy the benefits of having a sanctuary.<\/p>\n

OK, DeAnna, you say, but I don’t HAVE any extra rooms to create a sanctuary.\u00a0 Fair enough.\u00a0 How about creating an OUTDOOR sanctuary?\u00a0 Think a garden, a hammock in a corner of your yard or even a garage space can work.\u00a0 (Garage should be insulated & finished w\/good ventilation).\u00a0 Other rooms you can personalize would be a laundry room, if big enough.\u00a0 A chair and shelving can all be placed in here…AND you’re guaranteed not to be bothered in there for fear of getting coerced into helping fold!\u00a0 Be creative.<\/p>\n

If you truly have no other space, then you must create a “virtual” sanctuary…think the bathroom for an hour bath (glass of wine, favorite music in the iPod & lit candles) or your bedroom.\u00a0 It is vital here that you have a scheduled time, closed door & that everyone knows that you aren’t to be disturbed.\u00a0 You may even have to have a box that you keep a “traveling” personal sanctuary (pictures, candles, books, eye mask…), but so be it.<\/p>\n

And finally, a “do not disturb” sign (think like at a hotel) to place on the door when you are in your sanctuary, whether you share a space or not.\u00a0 It is vital that everyone (men and women) have at least 15 minutes every day to decompress & re-energize, having a designated space & time helps do this.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join The <\/strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2012 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. I\u2019m happy to have DeAnna Radaj, as my guest today. She\u2019s an “Eco-Shui” designer, writer, consultant who helps those who are looking to lead a more healthy,\u00a0balanced &…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[558,587,588,589],"class_list":["post-3910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-deanna-radaj","tag-eco-shui","tag-feng-shui","tag-persoanl-sanctuary"],"yoast_head":"\nMake Some Space for Just You - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/make-some-space-for-just-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Make Some Space for Just You - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3910"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3913,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910\/revisions\/3913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}