{"id":3881,"date":"2013-01-18T12:01:30","date_gmt":"2013-01-18T17:01:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3881"},"modified":"2013-01-07T19:50:56","modified_gmt":"2013-01-08T00:50:56","slug":"lovingly-spruce-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html","title":{"rendered":"Lovingly Spruce Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month<\/a><\/strong> with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>\u2122.<\/em><\/p>\n

It can be easy to fall into habits of not caring how you look in public. You can get lazy about making an effort to have a nice appearance if you\u2019re in a long term relationship, exacerbate habits as you get older, or you don\u2019t feel good about yourself so why bother? The best reason is that sprucing yourself up can make you feel better about yourself. That reinforces self-love!<\/p>\n

When I was a DoorMat I didn\u2019t see any point in putting too much time into my appearance, since I didn’t love myself and thought I wasn’t worth sprucing up. Several incidents taught me the benefits of trying to be my best, or at least not settling for my worst. When someone gave me a nice shirt and I wore it, I noticed that I felt good that day and smiled more. Wearing it gave me a little confidence and I enjoyed getting a few compliments about how I looked nice. When I wore some makeup after buying some at the party I talked about in How My Self-Love Began at a Mary Kay Cosmetics Party<\/a>, I noticed that also improved my mood and self-image.<\/p>\n

Slowly I began to take more pride in my appearance and it fed my confidence and self-love. I still wear older clothes to work at home or run local errands but even then I\u2019m not as skuzzy as I used to be when I didn\u2019t love myself so much. I have a new rule\u2014don\u2019t wear anything in public that you wouldn\u2019t want to be seen in if you bump into a friend or colleague. I got rid of clothing that did nothing for my appearance but make me look dowdy. During that period I learned a valuable lesson.<\/p>\n

I was still doing errands in old, unflattering clothing sometimes. As I got ready to go to the bank I decided to break in a new pair of jeans. I liked how they fit and wore a nice sweater instead of the old one I almost put on. It put me into a good mood and I skipped pulling my hair back into a practical ponytail. I looked good! And I wore my leather jacket instead of a sweatshirt. As I approached my bank, someone called my name. It was Bill, a guy I dated the year before who\u2019d stopped calling me. Had I been wearing my usual outfit for running errands, I\u2019d have felt awkward, maybe tried to duck away or stammer over my words.<\/p>\n

Instead, I just looked at him confidently and said nothing. He said, \u201cDo you remember me? I\u2019m Bill. It\u2019s great to see you!\u201d I could tell he was ready to open something up again. I smiled and said, \u201cI remember you. You\u2019re the one who blew me off.\u201d I walked away still grinning as his jaw dropped. Had I not looked good, I\u2019d never have done that. It felt so empowering to choose not to start again with a guy who stopped calling me out of the blue and to let him know why with one quick statement and an exit. Knowing I looked good helped me do that. From then on, I made more of an effort to feel good about how I look more often.<\/p>\n

Working on your appearance doesn\u2019t mean spending lots of money or wearing makeup or not being true to your style. It does mean good grooming, wearing clothes that fit you properly and doing what makes you feel good. When I go to an event I try to make time to put on some eye makeup because I know it enhances my appearance a lot. If I\u2019m not in the mood I at least put on lipstick, which seems to make a big difference in how I look. You have to be true to you but don\u2019t be lazy! Make at least a small effort to spruce yourself up lovingly. You deserve to look your best! It will boost your confidence. which will boost your self-love.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join The <\/strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2012 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. It can be easy to fall into habits of not caring how you look in public. You can get lazy about making an effort to have a nice…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[27],"class_list":["post-3881","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-self-love"],"yoast_head":"\nLovingly Spruce Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lovingly Spruce Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. It can be easy to fall into habits of not caring how you look in public. You can get lazy about making an effort to have a nice…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-01-18T17:01:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-01-08T00:50:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Lovingly Spruce Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Lovingly Spruce Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement\u2122. It can be easy to fall into habits of not caring how you look in public. You can get lazy about making an effort to have a nice…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2013-01-18T17:01:30+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-01-08T00:50:56+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html","name":"Lovingly Spruce Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png","datePublished":"2013-01-18T17:01:30+00:00","dateModified":"2013-01-08T00:50:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/01\/lovingly-spruce-yourself.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Lovingly Spruce Yourself"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3881","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3881"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3881\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3883,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3881\/revisions\/3883"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3881"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3881"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3881"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}