{"id":381,"date":"2010-09-13T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2010-09-13T12:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/09\/giving-back-kindness-for-those-who-annoy-you.html"},"modified":"2010-09-13T12:01:00","modified_gmt":"2010-09-13T12:01:00","slug":"giving-back-kindness-for-those-who-annoy-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/09\/giving-back-kindness-for-those-who-annoy-you.html","title":{"rendered":"Giving Back: Kindness for Those Who Annoy You"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Thumbnail<\/a><\/span>What’s your response to someone who annoys or hurts you? Anger? Bristling? Wanting to get back at them? Instead of hurting them or lashing out, give them kindness instead. People who do things to annoy you are usually not happy. They attract more things to be unhappy about because they don’t treat people nicely. You can be different! <\/p>\n

Instead of trying to stand up to someone who annoys you today, be kind to him or her.<\/b><\/p>\n

People who are tough to deal with are usually the people who need the most love. Even if someone isn’t nice, be nice to them. Try it with one person. Think of all your blessings and understand that it’s a blessing to be kind to those who aren’t kind to you. This doesn’t mean you should go out of your way for that person. But basic courtesy, respect and a positive attitude can go a long way, even if you don’t see the results.<\/p>\n

Everyone has issues. You have yours. I have mine. Some of us handle them better than others.<\/b><\/p>\n

You don’t know the pressure your boss is under when he barks out orders to you or she shows no appreciation when you go above and beyond to help her. Your neighbor may have money problems and the plumber may be sick. You just don’t know what’s going on behind annoying behavior but I do believe that happy people don’t purposely do things that hurt or bother people. Yes, maybe you might not like something someone happy does, but it’s not a consistent inappropriate or hurtful behavior. <\/p>\n

Have compassion for people who hurt you as the Dalai Lama advises<\/b>. Those people are usually hurting themselves more than they hurt you.<\/p>\n

It shouldn’t be about them. It’s about YOU! Who do YOU want to be?<\/b> Sinking to the level of people who aren’t kind to you? Having an eye for an eye mentality? That doesn’t make you a better person than the person you don’t like! Be the bigger, blessed person. Be the person YOU choose to be and not someone you wouldn’t like to encounter. <\/p>\n

Even if someone seems snarly, find a kind word to say<\/b>. <\/p>\n

Acknowledge that their job might be hard or just give them a friendly hello or a warm smile. Some people may thaw; some never will. It doesn’t matters. What does matter is that you be the person you want to be, despite their attitude.<\/b> Don’t let people change you in their negative circumstances. Rise about it and think of it as a way of giving back for your blessings. Kindness resonates with people, even the hurtful ones. They may act annoyed but trust me. You will warm at least a little piece of them, which may help in the long run.<\/p>\n

What’s most important is that you remain true to being a Nice Person on Top of your life<\/b>. It will come back to you in other areas of your life!<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What’s your response to someone who annoys or hurts you? Anger? Bristling? Wanting to get back at them? Instead of hurting them or lashing out, give them kindness instead. People who do things to annoy you are usually not happy. They attract more things to be unhappy about because they don’t treat people nicely. You…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,1,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-giving-back","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-positive-mental-attitude"],"yoast_head":"\nGiving Back: Kindness for Those Who Annoy You - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/09\/giving-back-kindness-for-those-who-annoy-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Giving Back: Kindness for Those Who Annoy You - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What’s your response to someone who annoys or hurts you? 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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