{"id":379,"date":"2010-07-08T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-08T12:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/07\/empowering-our-kids-part-2.html"},"modified":"2010-07-08T12:01:00","modified_gmt":"2010-07-08T12:01:00","slug":"empowering-our-kids-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/07\/empowering-our-kids-part-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Empowering Our Kids–Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"emotesbookcover.jpeg\"<\/a><\/span>I always encourage building self-love and giving love to others. Kids need to feel loved, just as adults do, if not more. Simple loving gestures  can make a big difference in how they feel about themselves. I’m a huggy kind of girl so I always give hugs and encourage others to give them freely. Yesterday Matt
\nCasper<\/a>, addressed how empowered adults empower our children. Today he explains the importance of loving your kids unconditionally. Kids thrive on love. So do we adults so use the lesson below on adults as well!<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

A Well Paced Hug Can Do Wonders
By <\/b>Matt
\nCasper<\/a>, MFT
<\/b><\/div>\n

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.” –Socrates<\/p>\n

Conditional love for a child means that a child feels they must say or do certain things in order to earn love from caregivers. Unconditional love towards a child does not require the child to be anything except who they are<\/b>.  <\/p>\n

As adults, it’s normal to have a fantasy of how you would like children to be–that they may enjoy the things that YOU would like them to enjoy and succeed at the things that YOU would like them to accomplish.  Give up that fantasy.  A child might not be the star athlete that you were, or may have no interest in what you are interested in at all. Allow children to find their own path and show them that you love them no matter what they may do or where life may take them. <\/p>\n

Even the simplest expressions of love can have a tremendous impact on a child<\/b>. <\/p>\n

Surprise your children with acts of warmth and affection. An unexpected hug can do wonders for a child’s self-esteem. Leave them a note saying “Have a great day.  I’m proud of you”, and tell them you love them before they go to sleep. Don’t make a child feel as if they must earn your love.  They are a child, and that is enough. You are you, and that is enough as well.    <\/p>\n

 Matt
\nCasper<\/a>, MFT, is a
\nlicensed psychotherapist with a private practice in Los Angeles,
\nCalifornia. He’s also an author of the award-winning Emotes! book series<\/a>. This collection
\nof picture books and comics helps children learn how to identify, accept
\nand express their emotions by following a cast of modern anime-style
\ncharacters each with their own emotional superpower. Check out this fabulous Emotes! book series<\/a> that teach kids some wonderful lessons!<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/b> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I always encourage building self-love and giving love to others. Kids need to feel loved, just as adults do, if not more. Simple loving gestures  can make a big difference in how they feel about themselves. I’m a huggy kind of girl so I always give hugs and encourage others to give them freely. Yesterday…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence"],"yoast_head":"\nEmpowering Our Kids-Part 2 - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/07\/empowering-our-kids-part-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empowering Our Kids-Part 2 - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I always encourage building self-love and giving love to others. Kids need to feel loved, just as adults do, if not more. Simple loving gestures  can make a big difference in how they feel about themselves. I’m a huggy kind of girl so I always give hugs and encourage others to give them freely. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}