{"id":3698,"date":"2012-12-03T12:01:42","date_gmt":"2012-12-03T17:01:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3698"},"modified":"2015-11-30T16:02:48","modified_gmt":"2015-11-30T21:02:48","slug":"the-10-commitments-of-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/12\/the-10-commitments-of-self-love.html","title":{"rendered":"The 10 Commitments of Self-Love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo.png\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-3701\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"482\" height=\"135\" \/><\/a>With <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Month<\/strong><\/a> (January) is approaching, I wanted to go into more details about <strong>The 10 Commitments of Self-Love<\/strong> that are posted on <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>The Self-Love <\/strong><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a> site. These are principles you should begin to develop in yourself that will help your build self-love and nourish it once you have it. They\u2019re listed on the home page of <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>The Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>\u2122 site but I want to elaborate about what they mean and why each is so important. Once you understand and embrace these commitments, you\u2019ll have a more self-loving approach to life.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>The 10 Commitments of Self-Love<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>1. I shall lovingly accept myself as I am right now.<\/strong> This doesn\u2019t mean you have to like everything about yourself. I love and accept my body as it is right now but would still like to drop a few pounds to feel healthier and have my clothes fit better. But self-love means accepting yourself right now, in your own imperfect skin! Then you can lovingly work on things you can change, like improving your health and fitness because that\u2019s good for you. Waiting until you lose the weight or tone your body or make more money is NOT loving! You can love yourself at any weight, in any shape and with all your perceived imperfections! You love your friends and family with their imperfections, don\u2019t you? Give yourself this loving gift!<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. I shall appreciate all the beauty that makes me who I am.<\/strong> Your uniqueness is beautiful. Your goodness as a person is beautiful. Your big heart is beautiful. Your caring about others is beautiful! Beauty begins within. Appreciate all the beautiful qualities you have that have nothing to do with your appearance. True beauty comes from the inside out. When you seek to do good, live with integrity, and practice charity and kindness, you radiate beauty. Even if you don\u2019t see it, others do. So pay attention and appreciate all the beauty of your heart and soul!<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. I shall regularly give thanks for all of my blessings.<\/strong> Gratitude is very loving. The more you acknowledge all the blessings in your life, the more blessings you can attract. It also keeps you in a more positive frame of mind because it helps you remember how much good is in your life. It also keeps you from taking all the good stuff in your life for granted. Feeling good about your blessings warms you with love!<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. I shall trust in my ability to take care of myself<\/strong>. When you love yourself you can see you as your own best friend with your best interests at heart for you. And when you embrace a strong faithful belief system, it\u2019s much easier to trust yourself because you also know that you\u2019re supported. Focus on taking care of your health and fitness. Then you\u2019ll feel better, which raises your confidence to help your life in other ways.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. I shall not criticize myself.<\/strong> Is your inner dialogue harsh or kind? It&#8217;s common to be more critical of your imperfections than you\u2019d be with a friend\u2019s. You know it&#8217;s wrong to hurt someone you care about. Apply that to self! Treat yourself as you would a friend\u2014use kind words and accept imperfections. Stop calling yourself names like fat or stupid. You reassure those you care about. Self-love means cutting yourself slack too! It means accepting that you\u2019re human and humans aren\u2019t perfect. Get into the habit of reassuring yourself instead of having negative self-talk! The more you fall in love with you, the less self-insults. The less you put yourself down, the more you\u2019ll fall in love. It\u2019s great synergy!<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. I shall not criticize others.<\/strong> If you don&#8217;t like being put down, break any habits you may have of assessing people\u2019s faults. Picking on what\u2019s wrong with someone is often done to make you feel better. Even if you do it behind the person\u2019s back, it fosters negativity, which isn\u2019t loving. Happy people tend not to put others down. Work on yourself! The more self-love you feel, the less likely you\u2019ll be to want to pick others apart. It\u2019s plain not nice, or loving. Find the good in people instead! That will make it easier to also find the good in you!<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. I shall forgive myself when I make a mistake.<\/strong> Don\u2019t beat yourself up when you say or do the wrong thing. Accept that we all make mistakes and it\u2019s okay. Find kind words to address the situations. If you break something it\u2019s not the end of the world. It happens. You goofed and it will be okay! If you don\u2019t give a perfect presentation, people won\u2019t remember by tomorrow. You shouldn\u2019t either. Forgive and move on. When you tell yourself whatever you did is okay, you\u2019ll feel better about it, and you! That\u2019s loving!<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. I shall be kind to others, without sacrificing my own needs.<\/strong> There\u2019s a big difference between being kind to people and being a people pleaser. The latter isn\u2019t loving. You can help people when you can but always make sure that your needs are met first. Self-love requires setting boundaries on what you can give to others. It means doing favors selectively, to people you want to help because you care about them, not to buy approval. When you love yourself, self-approval is the main goal. It\u2019s not loving to help people at your expense. Set boundaries but always have a kind attitude to other people. Helping others is a loving act but take care of you too!<\/p>\n<p><strong>9. I shall take responsibility for my life.<\/strong> Do you complain about how people treat you? Take responsibility by accepting that nobody can do what you won\u2019t allow. Life is your choice. Stay at a job you hate or look for a new one. Stay with a romantic partner who doesn\u2019t treat you well or leave. Taking responsibility for what goes on in your life gives you power to change what you don\u2019t like. It\u00a0 can set you free! Victims complain about what they don\u2019t like. People who love themselves do something about it because they seek happy situations.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10. I shall love myself to the best of my ability.<\/strong> Do your best to be kind to yourself\u2014every day! Saying \u201cno\u201d to what you don\u2019t want is kind to you. So is eating healthy, walking, replacing negative self-talk with gentle words. View your whole self through a lens of love, not looking for your imperfections. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Say \u201cI love me\u201d often. Don\u2019t let others treat you poorly. The kinder you are to yourself, the more your self-love will grow. Sign the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>pledge to commit to be kind to yourself for 31 days<\/strong><\/a>. It\u2019s a loving way to stimulate good feeling for you!<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With Self-Love Month (January) is approaching, I wanted to go into more details about The 10 Commitments of Self-Love that are posted on The Self-Love Movement\u2122 site. These are principles you should begin to develop in yourself that will help your build self-love and nourish it once you have it. They\u2019re listed on the home&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,14,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-love-acceptance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The 10 Commitments of Self-Love - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 10 Commitments of Self-Love - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"With Self-Love Month (January) is approaching, I wanted to go into more details about The 10 Commitments of Self-Love that are posted on The Self-Love Movement\u2122 site. These are principles you should begin to develop in yourself that will help your build self-love and nourish it once you have it. They\u2019re listed on the home&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-12-03T17:01:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-11-30T21:02:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The 10 Commitments of Self-Love - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The 10 Commitments of Self-Love - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"With Self-Love Month (January) is approaching, I wanted to go into more details about The 10 Commitments of Self-Love that are posted on The Self-Love Movement\u2122 site. These are principles you should begin to develop in yourself that will help your build self-love and nourish it once you have it. They\u2019re listed on the home&hellip;","og_url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2012-12-03T17:01:42+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-11-30T21:02:48+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/12\/the-10-commitments-of-self-love.html","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx","name":"The 10 Commitments of Self-Love - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png","datePublished":"2012-12-03T17:01:42+00:00","dateModified":"2015-11-30T21:02:48+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/12\/Self-Love-logo-300x64.png"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Inspiration\/Galleries\/The-10-Commitments-of-Self-Love.aspx#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The 10 Commitments of Self-Love"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3698"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5638,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698\/revisions\/5638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}