{"id":3666,"date":"2012-11-30T12:01:15","date_gmt":"2012-11-30T17:01:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3666"},"modified":"2012-11-12T13:19:44","modified_gmt":"2012-11-12T18:19:44","slug":"question-how-do-i-handle-my-bosss-jealousy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/11\/question-how-do-i-handle-my-bosss-jealousy.html","title":{"rendered":"Question: How Do I Handle My Boss\u2019s Jealousy?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Jenna wrote: My boss recently got burned by her boyfriend and is very bitter toward men. I\u2019m married to a wonderful guy and she knows it. She constantly snipes at me with comments that include a reference to my \u201cperfect life.\u201d She does this to another co-worker who\u2019s in a good relationship, and happy. It feels like she can\u2019t stand happy people since she\u2019s miserable. How can I stop her nastiness without losing my job, which I love except for her current behavior? We did have a good relationship when she was in a happy place.<\/p>\n

ANSWER<\/strong>
\nFIRST: I\u2019d try to talk to her directly. Find a peaceful time and ask if you can buy her a cup of coffee\/tea if that\u2019s possible. It\u2019s best to talk away from the work environment. Share that you\u2019ve always enjoyed working with her but lately she seems angry at you. Did you do something wrong that you don\u2019t know about? Of course you know why but play dumb. Don\u2019t try to analyze for her. Just address her behavior, not the reason you believe is causing it, and how it doesn\u2019t feel good.<\/p>\n

Emphasize how much you respect her and want to keep a good relationship. Ask if there\u2019s something you can do to change the vibe between you. Tell her how uncomfortable you feel when you feel her negative vibes. \u201cI really want to get back to the great place we were in as I like you. Is there something I can do to help make that happen?\u201d Saying this in a nice, positive way might wake her up that she\u2019s behaving unfairly. Otherwise you might have try something more serious.<\/p>\n

There are several things you can do, depending on your circumstances at work. Does your company have any policy against harassment? Either way, it\u2019s good to keep a log of the date\/time and details about anything she says or does that you consider unacceptable. Depending on what happens in the future, it\u2019s good to have a record of her behavior, especially if she tries to fire you.<\/p>\n

If she has a superior, I\u2019d ask for a meeting with that person. DO NOT COMPLAIN! The best way to get someone on your side is to ask for advice. Start by telling the person you respect their wisdom and thought they might know of a good way to handle your situation. Then praise your boss and express your desire to have a good relationship with her. Ask for suggestions for handling the unacceptable behavior. Emphasize the good\u2014hat she\u2019s otherwise a good boss and does good work. You understand she\u2019s going through a rough time but aren\u2019t sure how to respond to her comments or being picked on for no reason. The less it sounds like a complaint, the more cooperation you\u2019ll get.<\/p>\n

If the situation escalates, use the log you kept as proof of harassment. Try to get others who she does this to to join you in taking some action if there is a company policy in place. If there\u2019s an HR person. try to get advice from them too. If nothing changes, you can try to find ways to avert her as much as possible, or you might have to look for another job. Most of the time, my suggestions will work. Try to keep a positive attitude through it all. That creates a better environment for taking action.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jenna wrote: My boss recently got burned by her boyfriend and is very bitter toward men. I\u2019m married to a wonderful guy and she knows it. She constantly snipes at me with comments that include a reference to my \u201cperfect life.\u201d She does this to another co-worker who\u2019s in a good relationship, and happy. It…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,17,2],"tags":[524,344,523,88],"class_list":["post-3666","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-questions-answered","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-difficult-boss","tag-jealousy","tag-negative-boss","tag-self-empowerment"],"yoast_head":"\nQuestion: How Do I Handle My Boss\u2019s Jealousy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/11\/question-how-do-i-handle-my-bosss-jealousy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Question: How Do I Handle My Boss\u2019s Jealousy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jenna wrote: My boss recently got burned by her boyfriend and is very bitter toward men. I\u2019m married to a wonderful guy and she knows it. She constantly snipes at me with comments that include a reference to my \u201cperfect life.\u201d She does this to another co-worker who\u2019s in a good relationship, and happy. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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