{"id":3651,"date":"2012-11-16T12:01:53","date_gmt":"2012-11-16T17:01:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3651"},"modified":"2012-11-11T23:26:15","modified_gmt":"2012-11-12T04:26:15","slug":"are-you-considered-a-pollyanna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/11\/are-you-considered-a-pollyanna.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You Considered a Pollyanna?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-1696\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"218\" height=\"163\" \/><\/a>Since I\u2019ve been posting about happiness all week, I thought this topic was appropriate to end the week\u2014seeing the world through the eyes of the kind of optimism that being happy can give you. Sometimes when I try to be optimistic about someone following through on their word or I try to do the right thing by people with a positive attitude, I\u2019ve been labeled as a Pollyanna. According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary, a Pollyanna is \u201ca person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything.\u201d Guilty as charged. I\u2019m called that like it\u2019s a negative things to be but, I\u2019d rather have an optimistic outlook than worry a lot more!<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re cheerful and optimistic, you\u2019re usually happy too! It&#8217;s much better to try to create the best-feeling thoughts that you can. Being pessimistic, critical, skeptical, scornful and all the other negative attitudes that the name caller has can\u2019t thrive in happiness. I\u2019ve found most people who \u201ctease\u201d or criticize my positive attitude as making me a Pollyanna aren\u2019t happy. They thrive on making others unhappy too. When you\u2019re not happy, it can be hard to see happiness, especially big and bold happiness, in others!<\/p>\n<p>I think like being nice has taken on a negative meaning\u2014being a pushover, a DoorMat, people pleaser, etc.\u2014Pollyanna evokes a the image of someone who sees the world through rose colored glasses in an unrealistic way. But being optimistic\u2014looking for the good in situations\u2014is a positive quality in my opinion. I believe that most people wish to be happy and are frustrated when they can\u2019t reach that place. Then they see someone who goes through life with a smile, feeling content with life even when things don\u2019t go well, and they get jealous, though it comes across as criticism.<\/p>\n<p>I remember years ago I was friendly with Sue, who used to make fun of me for my optimistic outlook. She\u2019d sometimes mimic me or make snide comments, calling me things like \u201cLittle goodie two shoes\u201d for being cheerful a lot. She saw me as a Pollyanna and scorned me for it. Sue assuredly was not one. She complained a lot and was moody, magnified problems and had a bah humbug attitude often. She basically was an unhappy person. Yet she was always picking on me for having an upbeat, positive demeanor.<\/p>\n<p>When her boyfriend dumped her, Sue turned to me for support. I gave it to her. One day, she was in a very grateful mood. She thanked me for helping her get through the rough time. Then for a minute she let her guard down and said, \u201cI\u2019d give a lot to be as happy as you are. \u201c I was stunned that she admitted that. I think it just slipped out in a moment of weakness as she picked herself up and left right away. She never brought it up again.<\/p>\n<p>I will continue to be a Pollyanna type of person. Over the years I\u2019ve learned to respond to teasing or sarcastic comments by saying four words: \u201cI\u2019m happy. Are you?\u201d Usually I get a dumbfounded look. But that\u2019s the bottom line when people criticize you. Are you happy the way you are? I am and that happiness is priceless.<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement<\/strong><\/a>! Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since I\u2019ve been posting about happiness all week, I thought this topic was appropriate to end the week\u2014seeing the world through the eyes of the kind of optimism that being happy can give you. Sometimes when I try to be optimistic about someone following through on their word or I try to do the right&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,2,15],"tags":[973,518],"class_list":["post-3651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-happiness","tag-pollyanna"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You Considered a Pollyanna? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/11\/are-you-considered-a-pollyanna.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are You Considered a Pollyanna? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Since I\u2019ve been posting about happiness all week, I thought this topic was appropriate to end the week\u2014seeing the world through the eyes of the kind of optimism that being happy can give you. Sometimes when I try to be optimistic about someone following through on their word or I try to do the right&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/11\/are-you-considered-a-pollyanna.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-11-16T17:01:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-11-12T04:26:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are You Considered a Pollyanna? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/11\/are-you-considered-a-pollyanna.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Are You Considered a Pollyanna? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Since I\u2019ve been posting about happiness all week, I thought this topic was appropriate to end the week\u2014seeing the world through the eyes of the kind of optimism that being happy can give you. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3651"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3653,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651\/revisions\/3653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}