{"id":3509,"date":"2012-10-04T12:01:51","date_gmt":"2012-10-04T16:01:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3509"},"modified":"2012-09-06T12:35:52","modified_gmt":"2012-09-06T16:35:52","slug":"why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html","title":{"rendered":"Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>You feel like you do everything right but never seem to get ahead and it’s frustrating! That\u2019s why I\u2019m delighted to have Vickie Milazzo<\/strong><\/a>, RN, MSN, JD, author of the New York Times bestseller, Wicked Success <\/em><\/strong><\/a>(Wiley), and founder of Vickie Milazzo Institute, as my guest today. Featured in the New York Times as the pioneer of a new profession, she built a professional association of 4,000 members. In her book she shares the innovative success strategies that earned her a place on the Inc. list of Top 10 Entrepreneurs and Inc. Top 5000 Fastest-Growing Companies in America. Below she shares some insights with you.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m Smart! Why Can\u2019t I Get Ahead?
\n8 Reasons Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door<\/strong>
\nBy Vickie Milazzo<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019re a hard worker. You stay late at the office and never complain. You\u2019re your boss\u2019 go to person on big projects, and you never let him down. You\u2019re always taking on extra responsibility even when your plate is spilling over. And yet, your career trajectory is as flat as a board. Meanwhile, you can\u2019t help but notice the coworkers who put in fewer hours than you but who\u2019ve managed to get themselves promoted over you. Or that friend of yours whose long-shot cupcake bakery idea turned into a huge success. Or the countless wealthy businesspeople featured in the business magazines and blogs you read religiously who seem to have reached even greater success over the past few years despite the down economy. Of course, you\u2019re tired of merely scraping out an existence, but you\u2019ve concluded real success is all about luck, and you just don\u2019t have any.<\/p>\n

Wrong! If you want to achieve my brand of wicked success, it\u2019s all on you. Luck doesn\u2019t have anything to do with it. I guarantee that the successful people you see every day don\u2019t have anything you don\u2019t have. There is no single factor that prevents success or one that guarantees it. If you aren\u2019t driven by your passion or continuously working toward important goals, then of course, you\u2019re going to feel stuck in one place. But when you focus on your goals, plan your steps forward and have a little more faith in yourself, you can achieve wicked success. The first step is to hold up a mirror and really examine what you\u2019re putting in at work.<\/p>\n

Long hours don\u2019t always mean you\u2019re more productive than everyone else. If you are working longer hours and still getting nowhere, it is important to objectively assess the value of your output. For example, how much time do you spend complaining? Do you have to discuss every issue ad infinitum no matter how small? Are you a high maintenance or low maintenance employee? Are you stealing time from the company to manage your personal life and counting it as work? Figure out how to become truly productive and to continuously make progress toward project goals. The success you seek will follow. If you\u2019re still stumped as to why success has eluded you, read on as I explain a few success obstacles and how to get around them<\/strong>. \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You underprice yourself.<\/strong> You\u2019d love to ask for more money but frankly, you\u2019re afraid to. The economy still isn\u2019t great so I\u2019d better lie low, you reason. This just seems like common sense. But settling for less than you\u2019re worth is a big mistake\u2014even in the wake of the Great Recession. In fact, if you\u2019re in the running for a new job or promotion, it might even cost you the opportunity. When I\u2019m hiring, I actually weed out candidates who underprice themselves because I assume they won\u2019t perform at the level I expect. In my eyes and in the eyes of many other CEOs, job candidates actually lose credibility when they underprice themselves.<\/p>\n

Many people mistakenly think they\u2019re doing their employers a favor by not pushing for more or that they\u2019ll be more appealing if they don\u2019t ask for what they\u2019re worth. The bad economy might be the current excuse, but I believe most underpricing occurs because many employees and job candidates just aren\u2019t comfortable asking for what they think they\u2019re worth.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re viewed as a commodity<\/strong>. Commodities are easy to obtain and easy to replace. And that\u2019s certainly not how you want to be perceived at your job\u2014whether you\u2019re an employee, a leader, or an entrepreneur. After all, if the people you\u2019re working with know that others share your skill set, they won\u2019t have any reason to pay you more or give you advanced opportunities. They\u2019ll be in control, not you. Do everything you can to ensure that you aren\u2019t seen as interchangeable or dispensable.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t shrink into your chair and become the invisible employee. Do what you need to do to stand out. Get in the middle of everything and bring new ideas to the table. Build relationships throughout the company. If you\u2019re able to make yourself invaluable and leverage the things that make you unique, you\u2019ll also make yourself impossible to replace. And when that happens, you\u2019ll be in control of your own price.<\/p>\n

You downplay your accomplishments<\/strong>. It can be hard to toot your own horn. But if you don\u2019t announce your own achievements, you can bet that no one else is going to do it for you. With humility, make sure that you\u2019re keeping your name, your accomplishments, and your skill set in front of everyone. Make sure you\u2019re getting the recognition and credit you\u2019ve earned. If you still have doubts, consider that announcing your accomplishments validates the investments others have made in you. Your boss, for example, wants to know that she bet on a winner when she hired you!<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t network with big players<\/strong>. Generally, we tend to gravitate toward people who are similar to us: people who think similarly, who find similar things fun, and who are in similar walks of life. That\u2019s fine when it comes to your friendships, but you need to aim higher when it comes to networking. More than 60 percent of people find jobs through networking, for example, and you can bet that most of them didn\u2019t achieve this goal because they knew someone at the bottom of the pecking order.<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not advocating snobbery. It\u2019s normal to gravitate toward people who are the same as you\u2014but in business, one of the main reasons people don\u2019t get ahead is that they don\u2019t get out of their groups. Make every effort to meet people who are a rung or two higher than you on the professional ladder. If you impress someone who is more successful than you are, they\u2019ll have a lot more influence than someone whose position is equivalent to yours.<\/p>\n

You doubt your abilities<\/strong>. It\u2019s highly unlikely that you\u2019ll reach any goal you set for yourself if you don\u2019t believe with your whole heart that achieving it is possible. Among other things, you won\u2019t be confident enough to take calculated risks if you don\u2019t believe that the limitations in front of you are surmountable. Anytime you find yourself entertaining doubts or trying to limit what you think is possible, remind yourself of your past successes. Let them infuse you with pride and bolster your resolve.<\/p>\n

Believing you can do it\u2014whatever \u201cit\u201d is\u2014is 90 percent of the win. When I walked into my first meeting with a potential client, my legs were literally shaking. I forced myself to remember that this attorney needed specialized knowledge that only I\u2014a critical care nurse\u2014could give him. That reminder didn\u2019t banish all of my nervousness, but it did enable me to make the points I wanted. And I walked out of that meeting with my first client. I learned that when you expand what you\u2019re willing to believe about yourself, you can transform who you are and what your life looks like.<\/p>\n

You need a mentor<\/strong>. There are two ways to develop the skills, habits, mindsets, etc. that you\u2019ll need to achieve wicked success. The first is to go it alone and learn by trial and error in the school of hard knocks. The second (much smarter) path is to learn from others who have encountered and surmounted problems that are similar to your own. That being the case, surround yourself with as many mentors as possible and practice the skills they pass on to you.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been in business for three decades, and I still learn every day from my students, staff, writers, speakers, business experts, and more. And in the early days of growing my business, I devoured every book on business strategy I could find, even though none were aimed precisely at the niche I was creating. Aggressive learning is a competitive advantage in achieving any desired goals.<\/p>\n

You are too bogged down in the little things<\/strong>. In today\u2019s world, we\u2019re constantly sabotaged by nonproductive energy wasters. There are emails to read. Facebook statuses to update. Receipts to locate for that already-late expense report. Dishes to be washed. Files to be organized. And on, and on, and on. These are the easy, albeit often unproductive, tasks that make us feel good. They may not get you any closer to accomplishing your greater goals, but at least you\u2019ve checked a couple of things off your to-do list.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this addiction comes at a high price, because that cheap check-mark high is guaranteed to frustrate, overwhelm, and stress you out in the long term. By majoring in minor things, we never get to our big commitments. Breaking these addictions opens the door to achievement. Remember, what you engage and focus on is where you will yield results.<\/p>\n

You aren\u2019t going after your BIG goals<\/strong>. When is the last time you set a goal and really went after it? I encourage people to identify their \u201cBig Things\u201d\u2014those goals that connect to their passionate vision. Then choose one to schedule their day around. For example, your Big Thing might be to get promoted. So today you might agree to take on a high-profile work project in order to put you in the running for that promotion. Set a target date for each of your Big Things. And begin working steadily toward achieving each of them. Start strong and you\u2019ll experience genuine elation from achieving real goals and solving real problems.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t snap your fingers and suddenly become successful. And the successful people you envy weren\u2019t able to do that either. They worked for it. They set big goals. They didn\u2019t settle for small-time achievements. Wicked success can be yours too if you make the same big commitments.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You feel like you do everything right but never seem to get ahead and it’s frustrating! That\u2019s why I\u2019m delighted to have Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, author of the New York Times bestseller, Wicked Success (Wiley), and founder of Vickie Milazzo Institute, as my guest today. Featured in the New York Times as the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[487,122,486],"class_list":["post-3509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-opportuniities","tag-success","tag-vickie-milazzo"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You feel like you do everything right but never seem to get ahead and it’s frustrating! That\u2019s why I\u2019m delighted to have Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, author of the New York Times bestseller, Wicked Success (Wiley), and founder of Vickie Milazzo Institute, as my guest today. Featured in the New York Times as the…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-10-04T16:01:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-09-06T16:35:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/09\/Milazzoheadshot-240x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"You feel like you do everything right but never seem to get ahead and it’s frustrating! That\u2019s why I\u2019m delighted to have Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, author of the New York Times bestseller, Wicked Success (Wiley), and founder of Vickie Milazzo Institute, as my guest today. Featured in the New York Times as the…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2012-10-04T16:01:51+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-09-06T16:35:52+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/09\/Milazzoheadshot-240x300.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html","name":"Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/09\/Milazzoheadshot-240x300.jpg","datePublished":"2012-10-04T16:01:51+00:00","dateModified":"2012-09-06T16:35:52+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/09\/Milazzoheadshot-240x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/09\/Milazzoheadshot-240x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/why-opportunity-never-knocks-on-your-door.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why Opportunity Never Knocks On Your Door"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3509"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3509\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3516,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3509\/revisions\/3516"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}