{"id":34,"date":"2010-01-21T16:58:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-21T16:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/anger-at-things-we-cant-control.html"},"modified":"2010-01-21T16:58:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-21T16:58:00","slug":"anger-at-things-we-cant-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/anger-at-things-we-cant-control.html","title":{"rendered":"Anger at Things We Can\u2019t Control"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/S1jQMIfdB7I\/AAAAAAAABHY\/kS1XPIL4v74\/s1600-h\/haiti.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 200px;height: 133px\" src=\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/S1jQMIfdB7I\/AAAAAAAABHY\/kS1XPIL4v74\/s200\/haiti.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>A few weeks ago, I wrote about <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/12\/law-of-attraction-in-action-negative.html\">Negative Blips<\/a> in my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\">Law of Attraction in Action series<\/a>. Someone wrote and asked how to handle anger at things you can\u2019t control. There\u2019s so much poverty, brutality, hunger, violence, discrimination, etc. going on around the world. Watching the news and seeing or hearing about mass murders and all the other horrible occurrences and inequities can make your blood boil. It does mine. But these things can hurt you if you let them. The earthquake in Haiti can knock the faith out of you if you let it.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">It\u2019s important to put what you can and can\u2019t do into perspective, and try to focus on what you CAN do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a lot of negatives and injustices. Feeling angry about terrible circumstances around the globe <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">doesn\u2019t<\/span> solve the problem. It <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">does<\/span> keep you from feeling happy, and makes you feel helpless. You\u2019re one person and as such can only do so much. My heart breaks every time I see a report from Haiti. At times I wish I were a doctor so I could volunteer to help there. And if I were a millionaire I\u2019d send a lot more than I did. But I\u2019m neither, and must live as who I am.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Wallowing in awful things being done to good people just means there\u2019s one more person with a life that\u2019s being hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Life goes on. It\u2019s hard to resolve anger at people suffering or being treated horribly or anything that focuses on misery. I live in NYC and had a lot of anger after 9\/11. Every time I looked out my window and saw the smoke rising from what was the World Trade Center, I wished I could hurt the people who caused the loss of all those lives. It was also the loss of serenity for so many of us. For a long time my heart raced every time I heard a plane flying low. I still jump when I hear fireworks when I\u2019m not expecting them.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">But I must take care of me and not let anger at terrorists consume me. It keeps me stronger to do what I can as an individual to help others.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s easy to get angry at injustice and hard to put it into perspective. But we must, to keep our sanity and our positive emotions strong. Often the anger is a manifestation of frustration at not being able to do more. I still need to watch the Haiti reports but will eventually cool it or it will drive me mad that I can\u2019t run down there with food, water and medicine. But I can\u2019t, and must accept that without anger, just as you need to accept things that are out of your control.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Do the best you can for the cause that angers you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Donate money. Volunteer in whatever capacity is appropriate. Join organizations that try to remedy what you can\u2019t do alone. But don&#8217;t immerse yourself too far in the suffering. Appreciate that what you do helps others and that\u2019s enough to feel good. Getting angry at things that are out of your control serves no purpose other than making you feel bad. Personally, I like feeling good. And the better you feel, the more you energy you have to give to others.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Many times I\u2019ve reminded myself of the saying, you can\u2019t save the world but you can save a little piece of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>One person can\u2019t do it all but together we can do a lot. Every little bit helps. Look at the texting campaign to raise money for Haiti. If you text one of the numbers, you donate $10 that your cell phone company bills you for. The people who began this program knew that if you can afford to have a cell phone, you can afford ten bucks. You don\u2019t need a credit card or to spend time doing it. Just text and it\u2019s done!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Many people might think that 10 bucks won\u2019t do much but they raised many millions when all the donations added up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>And they\u2019ll continue to raise more millions since this is a long term effort to help Haiti and its people recover. For those of you who want to do something to help, here are some organizations that are helping and need donations. Don\u2019t be put off if $50 is the lowest amount to check off andn you can&#8217;t afford that. Look for \u201cother\u201d and give what you can. I\u2019ve donated to several so I\u2019m not making huge donations at any.<\/p>\n<p>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.redcross.org\/\">American Red Cross<\/a> is a no-brainer. They were in Haiti immediately with help.<br \/>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oxfam.org\/\">Oxfam<\/a> is always quick to respond with help.<br \/>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.doctorswithoutborders.org\">Doctors without Borders<\/a> sends the medical care so desperately needed.<br \/>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.clintonbushhaitifund.org\/\">Clinton Bush Haiti Fund<\/a> is run by former presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.<br \/>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.worldvision.org\/\">World Vision<\/a> works to help the children.<br \/>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.frank-mckinney.com\/caring_project.aspx\">Caring House Project Foundation<\/a> A few weeks ago I posted an interview with Frank McKinney, who talked about how he builds whole villages for people in Haiti. Many were destroyed during the earthquakes. Frank went down to Haiti and his team rescued people from the ruins. Now they need donations to help rebuild.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Don\u2019t let terrible circumstances around the world bring you down or make you so angry you can\u2019t let it go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>You owe it to yourself to stay strong and pursue your happiness. Put the bigger circumstances into perspective and make an effort to do something. A little is great too. When I heard a news report about how 70 people were rescued after 90+ hours of being buried, someone commented that it was a shame that ONLY 70 had been found, like it wasn\u2019t great.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Every life saved is great!<\/span> Ask the people and their families how great it was. Every person saved is a blessing. So is every small effort on your part. Feel GOOD about what you do and pray for the world. But don\u2019t let terrible situations far from your life ruin your joy. It doesn\u2019t help the situations but it does hurt you.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I can\u2019t emphasize it enough\u2014anger does you NO good! It probably will hurt you. Is that what you want?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If not, release your anger in positive ways by taking care of yourself and doing what you can for causes you feel strongly about. Trade anger for passion about doing your part.<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few weeks ago, I wrote about Negative Blips in my Law of Attraction in Action series. Someone wrote and asked how to handle anger at things you can\u2019t control. There\u2019s so much poverty, brutality, hunger, violence, discrimination, etc. going on around the world. Watching the news and seeing or hearing about mass murders and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anger"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Anger at Things We Can\u2019t Control - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/anger-at-things-we-cant-control.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Anger at Things We Can\u2019t Control - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A few weeks ago, I wrote about Negative Blips in my Law of Attraction in Action series. Someone wrote and asked how to handle anger at things you can\u2019t control. There\u2019s so much poverty, brutality, hunger, violence, discrimination, etc. going on around the world. Watching the news and seeing or hearing about mass murders and&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/anger-at-things-we-cant-control.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-01-21T16:58:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/S1jQMIfdB7I\/AAAAAAAABHY\/kS1XPIL4v74\/s200\/haiti.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Anger at Things We Can\u2019t Control - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/anger-at-things-we-cant-control.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Anger at Things We Can\u2019t Control - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"A few weeks ago, I wrote about Negative Blips in my Law of Attraction in Action series. Someone wrote and asked how to handle anger at things you can\u2019t control. There\u2019s so much poverty, brutality, hunger, violence, discrimination, etc. going on around the world. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}