{"id":3366,"date":"2012-09-21T12:01:58","date_gmt":"2012-09-21T16:01:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3366"},"modified":"2012-07-30T12:37:21","modified_gmt":"2012-07-30T16:37:21","slug":"what-you-think-you-can-achieve-vs-whats-possible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/what-you-think-you-can-achieve-vs-whats-possible.html","title":{"rendered":"What You Think You Can Achieve vs. What\u2019s Possible"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/01\/Hand.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-2728\" title=\"Hand\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/01\/Hand-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"267\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a>We\u2019re all affected to some degree by things said about us in the past. My kindergarten teacher made fun of my artwork and told me I\u2019d never be able to do art. It stayed with me well into adulthood as my truth. Girls are often told that math and science are fields that are more suited to boys. We get all these messages that affect what we think we\u2019re capable of doing.<\/p>\n<p>Most of the time those messages are wrong!! But we make them right by allowing these limiting beliefs to keep us from trying things we might be able to do. For example:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Doing poorly at math in school doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t help develop a budget at work. You might have avoided anything related to numbers all your life because of your early history with math but you might do well if you try now.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Seeing everyone in your family settle for mediocre jobs might make you feel you can\u2019t rise above that level. But plenty of people overcome limits at home to rise to the top of their field. Nobody is you but you!<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Like me, you might have believed you weren\u2019t fit enough or attractive enough or smart enough to go after what you consider a good looking, successful person for romance. I settled for the level of guys I thought were \u201cin my league\u201d for many years. But when you build confidence, your attractiveness gets much stronger. It happened for me!<\/p>\n<p>The main reason people settle for someone is because they believe they have to. You don\u2019t have to! Most of the time your biggest roadblock is yourself. When I was a DoorMat I had a low opinion of myself and what I deserved. I wrote off men I found attractive, assuming they wouldn\u2019t be interested in me. Since I didn\u2019t think much of me back then, I also didn\u2019t think I could accomplish much and never tried to go after career opportunities that interested me.<\/p>\n<p>Oh how wrong I was!<\/p>\n<p>As I began to love myself more, I also found more value in me. And I took more risks. I\u2019ve since learned that I can do almost anything I choose to do, and so can YOU!\u00a0 Start to think bigger and bolder about what you\u2019re capable of. Don\u2019t limit yourself based on the past. Always remember that you\u2019re a different person now than you were years ago. I now date guys I\u2019d never have dreamed would like me back in my DoorMat days, because I know I\u2019m good enough.<\/p>\n<p>I wouldn\u2019t have the career I do\u00a0 if I\u2019d listened to all the people who said it was too late for me to reinvent myself when I finally left DoorMatville. Anything is possible until you decide it isn\u2019t. YOU control your destiny, not naysayers or people who think they know best. I\u2019ve proven many people wrong and will continue to do so. As long as you think you can, you have a good shot! so take advantage of the new beginning of fall and find out what you can really achieve by taking a step towards something you&#8217;d like to do.<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>&#8211;a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days&#8211;and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019re all affected to some degree by things said about us in the past. My kindergarten teacher made fun of my artwork and told me I\u2019d never be able to do art. It stayed with me well into adulthood as my truth. Girls are often told that math and science are fields that are more&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[363],"class_list":["post-3366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-achievement"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What You Think You Can Achieve vs. What\u2019s Possible - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/what-you-think-you-can-achieve-vs-whats-possible.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What You Think You Can Achieve vs. What\u2019s Possible - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019re all affected to some degree by things said about us in the past. My kindergarten teacher made fun of my artwork and told me I\u2019d never be able to do art. It stayed with me well into adulthood as my truth. Girls are often told that math and science are fields that are more&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/what-you-think-you-can-achieve-vs-whats-possible.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-09-21T16:01:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-07-30T16:37:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/01\/Hand-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What You Think You Can Achieve vs. What\u2019s Possible - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/what-you-think-you-can-achieve-vs-whats-possible.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What You Think You Can Achieve vs. What\u2019s Possible - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"We\u2019re all affected to some degree by things said about us in the past. My kindergarten teacher made fun of my artwork and told me I\u2019d never be able to do art. It stayed with me well into adulthood as my truth. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3366","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3366"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3366\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3436,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3366\/revisions\/3436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}