{"id":3349,"date":"2012-08-27T12:01:54","date_gmt":"2012-08-27T16:01:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3349"},"modified":"2012-07-02T15:29:10","modified_gmt":"2012-07-02T19:29:10","slug":"as-it-turns-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/as-it-turns-out.html","title":{"rendered":"As It Turns Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Whenever someone is telling me about my health, or the results of a repair, or if I\u2019m eligible for something, etc., they often have a tendency to begin with \u201cUnfortunately.\u201d When I hear that I know something bad is coming. It puts me on my guard and I await negative news, as I\u2019m sure it does to most people. That\u2019s why it\u2019s better to begin with a more neutral phrase, so people are more open-minded when they listen. Using \u201cAs it turns out\u201d can do that.<\/p>\n

Apple employees are taught to say, \u201cAs it turns out\u201d instead of unfortunately. You might bring your iPhone in because it\u2019s not working properly. You want it fixed. And fast. Which sentence would put you more at ease when the tech tells you the news?<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cUnfortunately it needs a part that we don\u2019t have in stock and we have to wait for the factory to send it, which might take weeks.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAs it turns out it needs a part that we don\u2019t have in stock and we have to wait for the factory to send it, which might take weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the same message but people will respond with less panic and upset when the second one if used. Using unfortunately tells the person that they should prepare to be unhappy. \u201cAs it turns out\u201d sounds more hopeful, less dramatic and doesn\u2019t make you expect to hear the worst news so you might not feel as bad about your computer having to wait a while for the part.<\/p>\n

Using less negative words is a good way to give someone not so good news (sounds better than bad) about almost anything. And I found that people are not only more receptive, but they like you more when you give them the news that way. They don\u2019t like bearers of gloom and doom. \u201cUnfortunately\u201d can make you sound like one. \u201cAs it turns out\u201d sounds much less ominous.<\/p>\n

Try to find your own more neutral words about something negatives. You can turn almost anything around if you try. Plus, it actually feels better to say something in a less negative way.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whenever someone is telling me about my health, or the results of a repair, or if I\u2019m eligible for something, etc., they often have a tendency to begin with \u201cUnfortunately.\u201d When I hear that I know something bad is coming. It puts me on my guard and I await negative news, as I\u2019m sure it…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude"],"yoast_head":"\nAs It Turns Out - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/as-it-turns-out.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"As It Turns Out - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whenever someone is telling me about my health, or the results of a repair, or if I\u2019m eligible for something, etc., they often have a tendency to begin with \u201cUnfortunately.\u201d When I hear that I know something bad is coming. It puts me on my guard and I await negative news, as I\u2019m sure it…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/as-it-turns-out.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-27T16:01:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-07-02T19:29:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/07\/apple-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"As It Turns Out - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/as-it-turns-out.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"As It Turns Out - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Whenever someone is telling me about my health, or the results of a repair, or if I\u2019m eligible for something, etc., they often have a tendency to begin with \u201cUnfortunately.\u201d When I hear that I know something bad is coming. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3349"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3352,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3349\/revisions\/3352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}