{"id":332,"date":"2007-10-10T15:13:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-10T15:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/debunking-the-wish-fairy-myth.html"},"modified":"2007-10-10T15:13:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-10T15:13:00","slug":"debunking-the-wish-fairy-myth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/debunking-the-wish-fairy-myth.html","title":{"rendered":"Debunking the Wish Fairy Myth!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
Many of my clients wistfully say a version of, \u201cI just wish [THIS] would happen or work out.\u201d Or \u201cIf only someone would help me.\u201d I\u2019ve got news for you boys and girls! These thoughts will just keep you in DreamLand. Just like Santa, the wish fairy doesn\u2019t exist!
<\/span>
I lived in a state of wishful thinking when I was a DoorMat. I yearned for what others had without doing anything further and kept hoping that my wish fairy would miraculously appear and make my dreams would come true.<\/span> Back then my wishful thinking as big as anyone else\u2019s. I\u2019d fantasize about having the perfect man and play out how I\u2019d feel if I could ever find a way to leave my teaching job, which I hated. I wonder what it was like to look in the mirror without hating what I saw. Yet nothing materialized. <\/p>\n

I waited. And waited. And felt angry and frustrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

It felt like I was destined to be unhappy. Where was that wish fairy I kept wishing for!!?! Many of us are subconsciously in fairy tale mode. Waiting, wishing, getting angry and frustrated when the wish fairy never visits.<\/span> TV and movies have the happy endings we all believe should just come. I waited for the wish fairy for years.

Until I realized I that I had to be my own wish fairy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ahhhh\u2026 I woke up a little. Wishing was getting me nowhere but frustrated. It was up to me to make my wishes come true. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself kept me in a wishing rut and made everything seem more unattainable. When my wish fairy didn\u2019t wave her magic wand, I\u2019d get discouraged, which made it even harder for me to take action. I finally understood that I needed to wave my own magic wand to make things happen!<\/p>\n

And I did!<\/span><\/p>\n

Life gets better when you take control of your own outcomes. First, figure out exactly what you really want. It\u2019s harder to make your wishes come true if you don\u2019t know exactly what they are. Often we think broadly, instead of honing in on what\u2019s really desired. Your magic wand is the action you take to make your dreams become real life experiences!<\/span> Dreaming in bed is nice if you like fantasy. I prefer reality\u2014seeing my dreams materialize into my experiences. <\/p>\n

Do you want to have your own \u201cmagic wand\u201d?<\/span> You can, if you turn wishes into intentions<\/span>.
\u201cI wish I could have a career I enjoy\u201d can be \u201cI intend to find a career that makes me happy.\u201d
\u201cI hope to find a romantic partner\u201d can be \u201cThere\u2019s a good person in my future and I intend to find him\/her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Be specific in your wishes:<\/span>
\u201cI want more money\u201d is vague. \u201cI want to expand my income from doing (THIS) or (THAT)\u201d shows your direction.
\u201cI want to be able to relax more\u201d can be \u201cI intend to make more free time after work for running or \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n

One GREAT tool for honing my wishes into doable objectives was reading Wishcraft<\/span> by Barbara Sher<\/span><\/a>. It\u2019s not a spiritual way to manifest. Instead, she talks about how to make concrete plans for turning your wishes into reality. I\u2019m delighted to share that I just found this book available as a FREE download at http:\/\/www.wishcraft.com\/<\/a> I highly recommend you read it if you want to be your own wish fairy. Figure out exactly what you want and affirm it with details to own your own magic wish wand. <\/span>

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many of my clients wistfully say a version of, \u201cI just wish [THIS] would happen or work out.\u201d Or \u201cIf only someone would help me.\u201d I\u2019ve got news for you boys and girls! These thoughts will just keep you in DreamLand. Just like Santa, the wish fairy doesn\u2019t exist!I lived in a state of wishful…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"\nDebunking the Wish Fairy Myth! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Debunking the Wish Fairy Myth! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many of my clients wistfully say a version of, \u201cI just wish [THIS] would happen or work out.\u201d Or \u201cIf only someone would help me.\u201d I\u2019ve got news for you boys and girls! 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}