{"id":33,"date":"2010-01-18T12:38:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-18T12:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-what-ifs.html"},"modified":"2010-01-18T12:38:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-18T12:38:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-what-ifs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-what-ifs.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: What ifs?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s1600-h\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 154px;height: 200px\" src=\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>This is post 70 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\">the posts in this series<\/a> to see how.<\/p>\n<p>I was very lucky that a Chinese massage center opened up in the summer down the block from me. Their specialty is pressure points for healing, including reflexology, which is my favorite. The real lucky part\u2014they\u2019re cheap! Dirt cheap for midtown Manhattan. And they offered a grand opening promotion that sweetens the deal even more\u20142 free massages if you get 10 by the end of February. I had eight and planned to get one last weekend. When I began getting the massages, I earmarked an envelope for massages. I kept the little card they sign when I get one and some extra cash in it. But when I went to get the envelope for my massage, I couldn\u2019t find it.<\/p>\n<p>I looked everywhere. It wasn\u2019t where I normally put it or in my purse from last time. I looked everywhere I could imagine but no luck. My mind immediately began to think of what I could do if I didn\u2019t find it. I didn\u2019t want to lose the cash in it but especially didn\u2019t want to lose proof of my previous massages so I could get 2 free ones. I considered begging for at least some credit since I always go to the same person and she knows me. But, luckily, I caught myself.<\/p>\n<p>I HAD to find the envelope! Period! It had to be somewhere. So <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I changed my mindset from \u201cWhat if I don\u2019t find it?\u201d to \u201cIt\u2019s somewhere and I\u2019ll find it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A common trigger for fear is the unknown. When you know something will happen, good or bad, you can prepare a response or solution. But when you aren\u2019t sure of an outcome, your mind can conjure up some pretty scary situations. When I was a DoorMat, I always considered the worst-case scenario, and often acted on it. I\u2019d experience the fear and stress that would occur if it did happen, which it usually didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Or, <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I\u2019d use all my people pleasing ways to smooth over what might not have been a bad situation, just in case. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>I thought that if I didn\u2019t help friend A, she might stop spending so much time with me and I\u2019d be lonely. If I didn\u2019t put my plans aside to drive friend B to her doctor appointment, she might never help me if I needed it one day. If the doctor said there was a small chance my fever was something serious, I suffered with a serious disease until the results of tests came in and I was cleared. I never found out what would happen if I said no to a friend\u2019s request since I always did what they wanted. Nor did I get a serious disease.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">You can suffer the consequences of scenarios that never materialize when you project what negative things could happen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Many people assume the worst when they don\u2019t know the outcome. The more you think and act on negative \u201cwhat ifs,\u201d the more chance of attracting a negative outcome. Focusing on bad outcomes tells the Universe you expect the situation to end badly. Guess what that attracts? People come to me asking why things never work out for them. As they talk, I can hear the worst expectations in their words.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">\u201cI never got___and now I have ____coming up and that will probably tank too.\u201d<\/span> Surprise! None of it worked out. Negatives are easy to attract. Assuming they will happen is a mental magnet.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">\u201cI know I\u2019ll need surgery and can\u2019t afford to miss so much work so I\u2019ll probably lose my job too.\u201d<\/span> All that aggravation and he didn\u2019t need surgery. Yet the doctor found another health problem for him to \u201cwhat if?\u201d about. The stress he created with his &#8220;what ifs?&#8221;caused problems that made him lose his job, as he speculated happening.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">\u201cI\u2019m going to the tropics on vacation. I bet it will rain and ruin my trip.\u201d<\/span> She won the bet. Thinking it would rain ruined her anticipation and attracted the rain that ruined her trip! I always expect gorgeous weather in vacation and KNOW there is no way there will be rain. And I alwasy have sunshine!<\/p>\n<p>When I work with someone, I engage in a conversation and listen to how they perceive their life and handle situations where the outcome can be positive or negative. Then I try to get them to focus on getting what they want, not what they\u2019re scared of. It\u2019s natural to go to the \u201cwhat if\u201d scenario if you\u2019ve always done it. But \u201cwhat iffing\u201d it can be controlled!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">The more you focus on a positive outcome, the better your chance of getting one.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Rather than seeing it as a flaw, consider \u201cwhat iffing\u201d as a habit you can stop or slow down if you CHOOSE to. When the desire to break this habit is there, it just takes self-awareness and time. And faith! I rarely go there anymore, since my faith keeps me expecting positives. Faith is the antidote for negative expectations. Practice really does solidify it.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">The more you see the Law of Attraction work for you, the more you can talk yourself down from those pesky \u201cwhat ifs?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I found the envelope with my cash and the proof of my eight massages. First, I told myself there was NO option for NOT finding it. I HAD to find it. Logically, it had to be somewhere. I wouldn\u2019t throw out an envelope with money in it. And it was NOT an option to lose the credit for the massages I\u2019d gotten! I said that out loud, with force. Then I drowned the \u201cwhat ifs\u201d with an affirmation\u2014\u201cI have the envelope for my massage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I used a technique that works for me. I say, \u201cThink like a Daylle.\u201d Where might I leave it that\u2019s odd but so like me. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Ah!!! I\u2019d brought another envelope that I keep in the same spot with me a few days before in my backpack and it was still there. Maybe I\u2019d accidentally brought the massage one with it and it was in my backpack too. Bingo! After a little digging, I found it. Had I not changed my thoughts, who knows when I might have noticed it at the bottom of my overstuffed backpack. I believe that my positive intention to find it led me to it. The \u201cwhat iffing\u201d would have distracted me.<\/p>\n<p>George Schultz said, <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">\u201cThe minute you start talking about what you are going to do if you lose, you have lost.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Keep your thoughts on a winning track. If your tooth hurts, assume it\u2019s something minor instead of \u201cwhat iffing\u201d a major, expensive problem. If your boss calls you in, assume it\u2019s for something good, not to chastise you because you did something wrong. Do affirmations to reinforce the positive spin on what will happen. ALLOW yourself to attract the positive benefits of positive thoughts. Then, relax and enjoy all the good stuff you attract!<\/p>\n<p>See all the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Law of Attraction in Action Series.<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is post 70 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. I was very lucky that a Chinese massage center opened up in the summer down the&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-thinking"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Law of Attraction in Action: What ifs? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-what-ifs.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Law of Attraction in Action: What ifs? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is post 70 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. I was very lucky that a Chinese massage center opened up in the summer down the&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-what-ifs.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-01-18T12:38:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Law of Attraction in Action: What ifs? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-what-ifs.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Law of Attraction in Action: What ifs? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"This is post 70 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}