{"id":3293,"date":"2012-10-15T12:01:29","date_gmt":"2012-10-15T16:01:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3293"},"modified":"2012-08-07T13:29:49","modified_gmt":"2012-08-07T17:29:49","slug":"become-more-bouncy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/become-more-bouncy.html","title":{"rendered":"Become More Bouncy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/06\/Balls.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-3294\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/06\/Balls-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a>There have been several recent studies showing that people who develop resilience live longer and healthier lives. But what does resilience mean? I see it as the ability to bounce back from adversity. This doesn\u2019t mean ignoring bad things that happen. But since negative stuff happens to all of us, it\u2019s good to be able to process it fast and get past it instead of wallowing in the negative feelings.<\/p>\n<p>You can often hear how bouncy, or not bouncy, someone is from their tone of voice. I have a friend who always sounds like things are going wrong. Whenever I call him, right after we exchange greetings I ask him what\u2019s wrong this time. Usually what\u2019s going on is something small but he chooses to suffer from every little negative bit in his life. He tells his woes like a laundry list, yet he\u2019s blessed beyond belief, making a very good income doing a job many would love to have. Instead of smiling about how good his life is, he moans about every little thing that\u2019s not going right and drags it out instead of bouncing up from the mood.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, this is common. I had a friend years ago who always had a groan in her voice. It could be over a simple thing like needing to go through her pile of papers to find something. Just that, which would take ten minute, brought her down. I actually had to end our friendship as she brought me down too much. Everything that wasn\u2019t exactly how she wanted it was treated like a tragedy.<\/p>\n<p>People like the ones above suffer more than those of use who prefer to be bouncy. When they catch a cold, it\u2019s a monumental sickness. And I\u2019ve noticed that they get sick much more frequently than most people. I\u2019ve tried to point that out but they don\u2019t hear me. It\u2019s as if they like wallowing in their misery, and maybe deep down they do. But it\u2019s a very unhealthy way to live.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to see resilience in action, go to a playground and watch kids in action. One minute they\u2019re fighting over whose turn it is to hit the ball and the next they\u2019re happily working together. I\u2019ve watched in amazement as children fall down, cry hysterically and minutes later are back to running around. That\u2019s resilience. Most of us start out able to bounce back from adversity but lose it as we grow up. Life can get to you IF you let it. That&#8217;s your choice but why choose to be unhappy?<\/p>\n<p>Just like courage isn\u2019t the absence of fear, resilience isn\u2019t the absence of problems. Courageous people move on despite the fear. Resilient people bounce back from problems because they want to be happy and be in control of their lives, instead of letting circumstances control them. Resilient people succeed more long term. They can handle a crisis better by continuing to bounce back instead of letting the crisis stress them out for a long time. Studies show that resilience also keeps you healthier and helps you live longer. That&#8217;s sure better that feeling down!<\/p>\n<p>So put a bounce in your step and learn from kids.\u00a0 When something goes wrong, deal with it with a rationale mind instead of with your emotions. Do what you can to fix it and move on. When you bounce back quickly the problems don\u2019t get embedded in your energy and stick around in negative emotions. It\u2019s so much better to be healthy and happy. So get bouncing!<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>&#8211;a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days&#8211;and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There have been several recent studies showing that people who develop resilience live longer and healthier lives. But what does resilience mean? I see it as the ability to bounce back from adversity. This doesn\u2019t mean ignoring bad things that happen. But since negative stuff happens to all of us, it\u2019s good to be able&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,2],"tags":[426,88],"class_list":["post-3293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-reslience","tag-self-empowerment"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Become More Bouncy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/become-more-bouncy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Become More Bouncy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There have been several recent studies showing that people who develop resilience live longer and healthier lives. But what does resilience mean? I see it as the ability to bounce back from adversity. This doesn\u2019t mean ignoring bad things that happen. But since negative stuff happens to all of us, it\u2019s good to be able&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/become-more-bouncy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-10-15T16:01:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-07T17:29:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/06\/Balls-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Become More Bouncy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/10\/become-more-bouncy.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Become More Bouncy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"There have been several recent studies showing that people who develop resilience live longer and healthier lives. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3293"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3466,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293\/revisions\/3466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}