{"id":328,"date":"2007-10-02T15:35:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-02T15:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html"},"modified":"2007-10-02T15:35:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-02T15:35:00","slug":"saturday-night-solo-isnt-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html","title":{"rendered":"Saturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
I was walking down Second Avenue early Saturday evening. In front of me was a couple. The guy had a loud voice. As a writer about life, I pay attention to small stuff going on around me. As he passed a manicure salon, Mr. Loud Mouth looked in and in a know-it-all tone, stated, \u201cThose poor women in there have no Saturday night date.\u201d His lady asked why he thought that. He asked if she\u2019d seen what they looked like.<\/p>\n

His premise was that those women would have a hard time getting one because they weren\u2019t attractive. Men in NY could have their pick and they\u2019d be at the bottom of the heap. All this was discerned in the few seconds it took to walk by a small nail salon. He went on to say that women in NY were desperate for a Saturday night date, so these women must be unhappy.<\/span> His Dorkette agreed.<\/p>\n

I wanted to yell, \u201cOh no you didn\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But he did. This guy was dorky looking. I wanted to ask him if he\u2019d seen the woman he was with. They were 2 unattractive people making fun of women who were certainly no worse than they were. And judging them, assuming these women were woeful without the date he assumed they didn\u2019t have<\/span>. Maybe they had husbands or boyfriends at home. But this dorky couple was gleeful in their gloating analysis. <\/p>\n

As I stayed at their pace to listen in, it was hard to restrain myself from kicking his dorky butt!<\/span><\/p>\n

He talked like he was with a hot chick instead of his dorky female counterpart. Yet they chatted like experts about how sad it was that these women weren\u2019t attractive enough to get a Saturday night date. I stayed behind them, listening. I wanted to ask why they felt so superior and why this merited such a heavy discussion. <\/p>\n

They seemed so smug. Was it because they\u2019d once struggle to get a date and now had to gloat over what they assumed was other people\u2019s unhappiness? I wanted to tell Dorkette to check herself out in the mirror before she judged others. And, to be objective about the \u201cprize\u201d she was with. I\u2019d rather be alone forever than with him!<\/p>\n

Okay, you can tell it really annoyed me!<\/span><\/p>\n

Saturday night is symbolic for many.<\/span> Date night. Do or die for some women. Men find it a significant night too, but women tend to put more into it. Some feel that not having a date on Saturday night makes them less of a fabulous women<\/span>. Guys have told me they feel obligated to ask someone out on Saturday night to avoid a problem. Or, they avoid it, lest the women read too much into seeing him on that sacred date night.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t till I had my adult self-esteem in place that I recognized how evolved I was as a teen. Even though I was insecure and didn\u2019t value myself or feel attractive, I did enjoy solo time. I\u2019ve always loved to read and when I didn\u2019t have a date on the hallowed night, I was fine getting lost in a book. My friends didn\u2019t understand. Most would do anything and go with anyone to have a date. Me, I\u2019d weigh whether the guy asking me out was worth giving up my book for. <\/p>\n

I still feel that way. People don\u2019t understand that I enjoy being on my own. I enjoy dating too, when he\u2019s worth my time. Saturday night is just one of 7 nights of the week, unless you magnify its importance<\/span>. When you\u2019re insecure, you\u2019re more likely to worry about what others think and you don\u2019t want them to think you can\u2019t get a Saturday night date. <\/p>\n

Now that I\u2019ve recovered from DoorMat Syndrome, I don\u2019t care what others think most of the time. A Saturday night date is nice if it\u2019s with someone who I really enjoy being with. But so it a Monday night date. What\u2019s most important is getting comfortable in your own skin.<\/span> Focus on being loving to YOU and make a date with yourself to do something fun if there\u2019s no man or woman you\u2019d enjoy going out with. The dorky couple probably were unhappy if they had to pick apart women they didn\u2019t know. When you make yourself happy, Saturday night is just another night of the week that you\u2019re enjoying every night of!<\/span><\/p>\n


\"AddThis<\/a> var addthis_pub = ‘wryter’;
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was walking down Second Avenue early Saturday evening. In front of me was a couple. The guy had a loud voice. As a writer about life, I pay attention to small stuff going on around me. As he passed a manicure salon, Mr. Loud Mouth looked in and in a know-it-all tone, stated, \u201cThose…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"\nSaturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Saturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I was walking down Second Avenue early Saturday evening. In front of me was a couple. The guy had a loud voice. As a writer about life, I pay attention to small stuff going on around me. As he passed a manicure salon, Mr. Loud Mouth looked in and in a know-it-all tone, stated, \u201cThose…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-10-02T15:35:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RwKfKGRWpyI\/AAAAAAAAACw\/1LbEb1KYpfo\/s200\/2+donkeys.JPG\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Saturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Saturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"I was walking down Second Avenue early Saturday evening. In front of me was a couple. The guy had a loud voice. As a writer about life, I pay attention to small stuff going on around me. As he passed a manicure salon, Mr. Loud Mouth looked in and in a know-it-all tone, stated, \u201cThose…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2007-10-02T15:35:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RwKfKGRWpyI\/AAAAAAAAACw\/1LbEb1KYpfo\/s200\/2+donkeys.JPG"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html","name":"Saturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RwKfKGRWpyI\/AAAAAAAAACw\/1LbEb1KYpfo\/s200\/2+donkeys.JPG","datePublished":"2007-10-02T15:35:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-10-02T15:35:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RwKfKGRWpyI\/AAAAAAAAACw\/1LbEb1KYpfo\/s200\/2+donkeys.JPG","contentUrl":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RwKfKGRWpyI\/AAAAAAAAACw\/1LbEb1KYpfo\/s200\/2+donkeys.JPG"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/saturday-night-solo-isnt-death.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Saturday Night Solo Isn\u2019t Death!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=328"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}