{"id":3229,"date":"2012-09-07T12:01:39","date_gmt":"2012-09-07T16:01:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3229"},"modified":"2012-07-22T13:35:06","modified_gmt":"2012-07-22T17:35:06","slug":"yes-i-can","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/yes-i-can.html","title":{"rendered":"Yes I Can!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Have you ever been asked if you can do something that you\u2019d love to do, but, you don\u2019t feel ready or aren\u2019t sure how you\u2019d accomplish it? Or it\u2019s the last minute and you don\u2019t feel you have enough time to prepare? We usually believe that we need to do more than necessary to get something done. That belief is ultimately driven by fear or doubt in your ability, which motivates you to create excuses. Having to accept an offer quickly is scary.<\/p>\n

When confidence is low, you\u2019re more likely not to take it. Yet when you do, your confidence will grow for the next time.<\/p>\n

When I was a DoorMat, I longed to do so many things but when opportunities arose, I always had excuses not to take them. I had too much on my plate or I didn\u2019t have enough time to prepare. During that time I wrote a children\u2019s picture book. I wanted to be a writer but didn\u2019t know if I was good enough to do it. By chance I met an editor form a major children\u2019s book publisher. When I told her I\u2019d written the book, she got interested and asked me to send it.<\/p>\n

Since it was written already, I put it in the mail the next day. Shortly after, I heard from the editor, saying that the editorial board loved my take on the topic. But, there were some changes that needed to be made in the story first. She gave detailed instructions. But I began to doubt myself. I decided I needed to wait till I had lots of time to think it over. As time passed, I\u2019d look at her instructions and make more excuses. I was scared of my rewrite being rejected<\/p>\n

When I finally pushed myself to do it, I called the editor as she told me to do before sending it. Sadly, she was gone and no one else could help me. It\u2019s so hard to get in the door at this publishing house, no less to get interest from an editor, and my procrastination based on not feeling I could write the book properly kept me from finding out if I could. Now if an opportunity arises that I\u2019d like to do, I follow the advice of Theodore Roosevelt:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell \u2018em, Certainly I can and get busy and find out how to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

In my music biz books I tell musicians that if a last minute opportunity comes up that would help their career but scares the daylights out of them, say yes, and then figure out how to do it. That\u2019s what I do now. When I was called on a Sunday and asked if I could fly to Chicago the next day to be on Oprah, and be the only expert guest, and they told me what they wanted me to talk about, I began to panic inside. The old messages screamed, \u201cCan you do what they want? Do you have enough time to get ready?\u201d But it was Oprah and I had to do it so I said yes. And I did great!<\/p>\n

When it\u2019s something you really want, you figure out ways to make it happen. You take the risks. You say, \u201cYes I can!\u201d Otherwise, you stay in old ruts that you never get out of and happiness will always be elusive. If someone wants to hire you to do your skill but you\u2019ve never gotten paid before, take the chance and say yes! Then get busy and figure out how to do it. The worst that can happen is it doesn\u2019t work out, which will leave you no worse off than if you didn\u2019t try.<\/p>\n

My first big \u201cYes I can!\u201d was leaving DoorMatville. I stayed there for years but knew I\u2019d never be happy until I left. When I had to move out of my apartment and was looking for another one in the same area, my best friend pushed me to move into the city. I was terrified as it would cut off some income sources that I couldn\u2019t do from there. I got an offer for a place in my neighborhood and one for a place in the city. \u201cWhat did I want?\u201d I asked myself, knowing it was to live in the city. And that\u2019s where I went, fears and all because I said, “Yes I can take that apartment.”<\/p>\n

That was my biggest step out of DoorMatville. I left the world of what I thought was security behind and had to reinvent myself. Had I not done that I wouldn\u2019t have written fourteen books or had the career I do. Next time someone asks if you can do something, and you want to but you\u2019re scared or believe you need more time to prepare, force yourself to say, \u201cYes, I can\u201d and figure out how to do it!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever been asked if you can do something that you\u2019d love to do, but, you don\u2019t feel ready or aren\u2019t sure how you\u2019d accomplish it? Or it\u2019s the last minute and you don\u2019t feel you have enough time to prepare? We usually believe that we need to do more than necessary to get…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,14,2],"tags":[416,88,124],"class_list":["post-3229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-excuses","tag-self-empowerment","tag-taking-risks"],"yoast_head":"\nYes I Can! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/yes-i-can.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Yes I Can! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Have you ever been asked if you can do something that you\u2019d love to do, but, you don\u2019t feel ready or aren\u2019t sure how you\u2019d accomplish it? Or it\u2019s the last minute and you don\u2019t feel you have enough time to prepare? 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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