{"id":3214,"date":"2012-09-10T12:01:41","date_gmt":"2012-09-10T16:01:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3214"},"modified":"2012-07-05T23:23:02","modified_gmt":"2012-07-06T03:23:02","slug":"stay-off-emotional-roller-coasters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/stay-off-emotional-roller-coasters.html","title":{"rendered":"Stay Off Emotional Roller Coasters"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Years ago, my emotions got a bit intense\u2014both positive and negative. I\u2019d just left my husband and was desperately determined to be happy. Still a DoorMat and a bit na\u00efve, I\u2019d grab onto anything positive that someone said. That set me up for many disappointments. Someone would promise to do something I\u2019d love and I\u2019d get all excited. When they didn\u2019t follow through, I\u2019d feel very down for a while. Needing some happiness, I didn\u2019t notice this pattern as I wanted to believe so badly.<\/p>\n

This all came to a head when I\u2019d just begun my record label. I was one of the first women to start one and I learned as I went along. I went to London to try to get something going over there and a friend offered to help me. And he did try. But things didn\u2019t go as hoped and I went up and down from excitement\u2014when he was sure a record label was interested in licensing my music\u2014to severe disappointment when they didn\u2019t. After wonderful opportunities didn\u2019t pan out, my stress level got very high.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, my friend saw what was happening and sat me down to straighten me out. He said he watched me living like I was on a roller coaster. I\u2019d get carried away with excitement about a good prospect, then suddenly go down from up high fast when it didn’t happen, leaving me in a bad state. He advised me to not get so excited about specific things that weren\u2019t definite. He was frightened about my mental state being hurt. And he was right!<\/p>\n

We often go for rides on emotional roller coasters when something we really want seems like it will happen and then doesn\u2019t. It can be caused by a variety of factors. I did that with my desire to get my record label launched. But I also did it when there was a guy I liked a lot. If he called, I\u2019d get excited; when he let me down, my spirit nose dived from the top of the coaster and felt awful. Then he\u2019d say things I wanted to hear and I\u2019d climb back up to the top, only to go down again when he didn\u2019t follow through.<\/p>\n

It was a great lesson that I took to heart and still remember. We need to keep our highs and lows in check. It\u2019s fine to be happy about a possibility, but not so happy that if it doesn\u2019t work out you crash down. Now I keep both ends of the emotional scale in check. When a publisher I love is interested in having me do a book, I remind myself to wait for the contract before getting excited. When I do sign one, then I celebrate. I try not to get my hopes up too high for any one thing.<\/p>\n

This may sound contradictory to the Law of Attraction but, it\u2019s not. Instead of seeking a specific publisher, or man, or whatever else that I want badly, I get excited about getting the best possible one, the one that’s the best fit my highest good. Then I\u2019m not disappointed by things not working out with a certain person or situation. The publisher I have my heart set on may not be the right one for me. The guy I think is perfect might be very wrong under the surface once I get to know him.<\/p>\n

If you like going on rides, go to an amusement park but don\u2019t put yourself on an emotional one. Emotional roller coasters wear you down. They create stress and an assortment of negative emotions. When you try to stay calm about a good thing that may be coming to you, or not being too disappointed if it doesn\u2019t, you\u2019re in a much healthier state of mind. Emotional swings take their toll on you both physically\u2014causing digestive issues, weakened immune systems, etc And they also cause mental issue\u2014anxiety, doubt in yourself, and feelings like nothing goes your way. When you keep your response to getting things you want in some check, you\u2019ll feel more in control of your life.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Years ago, my emotions got a bit intense\u2014both positive and negative. I\u2019d just left my husband and was desperately determined to be happy. Still a DoorMat and a bit na\u00efve, I\u2019d grab onto anything positive that someone said. That set me up for many disappointments. Someone would promise to do something I\u2019d love and I\u2019d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[413,177],"class_list":["post-3214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-emotions","tag-negative-emotions"],"yoast_head":"\nStay Off Emotional Roller Coasters - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/09\/stay-off-emotional-roller-coasters.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stay Off Emotional Roller Coasters - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Years ago, my emotions got a bit intense\u2014both positive and negative. I\u2019d just left my husband and was desperately determined to be happy. Still a DoorMat and a bit na\u00efve, I\u2019d grab onto anything positive that someone said. That set me up for many disappointments. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3214"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3377,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3214\/revisions\/3377"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}