{"id":3196,"date":"2012-07-06T12:01:19","date_gmt":"2012-07-06T16:01:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3196"},"modified":"2012-05-25T14:25:56","modified_gmt":"2012-05-25T18:25:56","slug":"what-really-matters-to-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html","title":{"rendered":"What Really Matters to You?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/coffee.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-3197\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/05\/coffee-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>What makes you happy? Many people say lots of money or expensive things. Kids tend to reach for the biggest one of something, thinking bigger is better. Many of us still do that. We think more expensive or fancier is better and that having those kinds of things will make us happier. But often that belief is very wrong. If you\u2019re not happy already, those things will just make a blip in your happiness that will wear off fast.<\/p>\n<p>I meet many people who try to buy their way to happy. And many women who look to marry a guy with money so she can live in the style that she loves. They may not love the guy but love his money! That doesn\u2019t feel satisfying in the long run.<\/p>\n<p>Possession can soothe unhappiness but not build contentment or joy. Leora, a woman I knew grew up very poor in an unhappy family situation. She pushed to make a lot of money so she could afford to have lots of luxury in her life. She needed to do it to compensate for all her unhappy years. We never made plans to go out to eat because she refused to go to a restaurant that wasn\u2019t super expensive. But one time she agreed to go to one of my favorite cafes. She couldn\u2019t believe how much she loved the food and when the bill came, she almost fainted from the low cost.<\/p>\n<p>Inexpensive things can be satisfying too. Even if I were a millionaire, you\u2019d never get me to give up my favorite places to eat in favor of fancier ones. Leora learned a valuable lesson that day. After that she allowed me to take her to my inexpensive eateries! She still spent a lot of money but as I got to know her I saw that she was still an unhappy person. Buying the finest things soothed her but didn\u2019t bring consistent joy. No amount of money can bring you the kind of happiness that sticks with you. That comes from inside.<\/p>\n<p>Watch the video called <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickspire.com\/m\/SimpleTruths\/LifeIsLikeCoffee?id=%25%25UNIQUE_ID%25%25&amp;cm_mmc=CheetahMail-_-FR-_-10.28.11-_COFFEEmovie&amp;utm_source=CheetahMail&amp;utm_campaign=COFFEEmovie\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Life Is Like Coffee<\/strong><\/a>. Check it out for a wonderful message related to what I just wrote.<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What makes you happy? Many people say lots of money or expensive things. Kids tend to reach for the biggest one of something, thinking bigger is better. Many of us still do that. We think more expensive or fancier is better and that having those kinds of things will make us happier. But often that&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,14,15],"tags":[973,410],"class_list":["post-3196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-happiness","tag-life-is-like-coffee"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Really Matters to You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Really Matters to You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What makes you happy? Many people say lots of money or expensive things. Kids tend to reach for the biggest one of something, thinking bigger is better. Many of us still do that. We think more expensive or fancier is better and that having those kinds of things will make us happier. But often that&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-06T16:01:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-05-25T18:25:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/coffee-225x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What Really Matters to You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What Really Matters to You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"What makes you happy? Many people say lots of money or expensive things. Kids tend to reach for the biggest one of something, thinking bigger is better. Many of us still do that. We think more expensive or fancier is better and that having those kinds of things will make us happier. But often that&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2012-07-06T16:01:19+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-05-25T18:25:56+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/coffee-225x300.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html","name":"What Really Matters to You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/coffee-225x300.jpg","datePublished":"2012-07-06T16:01:19+00:00","dateModified":"2012-05-25T18:25:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/coffee-225x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/coffee-225x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/07\/what-really-matters-to-you.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What Really Matters to You?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3196","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3196"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3196\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3198,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3196\/revisions\/3198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}