{"id":318,"date":"2007-10-16T20:04:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-16T20:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html"},"modified":"2007-10-16T20:04:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-16T20:04:00","slug":"down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html","title":{"rendered":"Down with The Bachelor&#8211;You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s1600-h\/wedding.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:left;margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer;cursor:hand\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s200\/wedding.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>Last night I flipped on <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">The Bachelor<\/span> for a peek and was horrified. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">This show is so degrading to women!!<\/span> Considering how we&#8217;re supposed to be getting more empowered, this show is going backwards! I know much of it is probably scripted. But still. How can all those attractive, fit women vie for what they treat as a PRIZE??! Yet there they are, strutting their stuff and doing whatever they can to compete for the heart of one man. Meanwhile young women are getting the image of gorgeous women being pathetic in the pursuit of a man.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">What an awful message it sends to single women!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s bad enough to see these women getting all-emotional about getting a rose each week. Begging, pleading, praying for one. Like true love will evaporate without one. Don\u2019t any of these women have a life? Or self-respect? Last night they were crawling around on the floor, begging for a rose. Putting on a show for this man whose ego must be blown up beyond belief. Degrading themselves to impress this one man into believing she cares for him the most. Is any man worth that?<br \/><span style=\"font-weight:bold\"><br \/>NO! You can\u2019t negotiate, score, or plead for real love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">How can women feel empowered when they still believe that happiness won\u2019t be theirs without a man? It\u2019s<\/span> a frightening message to other women, especially young ones! I HATE the idea of teenage girls watching this show. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Too many women believe they need a man to complete them.<\/span> Watching these attractive women beg for a rose and pray this man will choose them makes an average looking chick even more insecure about getting her own guy. The Bachelor reinforces the mindset I encourage women to get rid of.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Desperation! Our society reinforces that women get desperate for a romantic partner. <br \/><\/span><br \/>The Bachelor reinforces what I\u2019ve been writing about in an effort to help women learn to empower themselves. In All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, http:\/\/www.daylle.com\/daylle\/bookinfo-jerks.html I try to help women learn to value themselves. Why treat men as a prize. I consider myself a prize for any guy lucky enough to be with me. ? Women need to learn to value themselves and get a life! It makes them more attractive and also feels better.  <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">This show illustrates desperation at the next level. Why aren\u2019t women taught to value themselves as a prize?<\/span> <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Love takes time to develop.<\/span> These women fall in love in a week. That\u2019s not real love. It\u2019s neediness! And it defiles real love. They sob that they were hoping to find true love here. Hello! Even scripted, it sucks, and reinforces the need for a man. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">It\u2019s rare to find love on a TV show.<\/span> I don\u2019t think any of the many bachelors ended up with the chosen woman. They all broke up once they got to know each other in real life. I could be wrong but the only couple I know of who married is Trista and Ryan. And SHE chose him on <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">The Bachelorette<\/span>!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">What happened to The Bachelorette?? <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Interesting how that show didn\u2019t do well enough to continue. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Is it not taken seriously that men would vie for one woman?<\/span> Was it too scary to see a woman in control? This one-way romance game show is unfair! <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Why not show women as a prize too?<\/span> We are, once we recognize it! ?<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" width=\"125\" height=\"16\" border=\"0\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;  <br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night I flipped on The Bachelor for a peek and was horrified. This show is so degrading to women!! Considering how we&#8217;re supposed to be getting more empowered, this show is going backwards! I know much of it is probably scripted. But still. How can all those attractive, fit women vie for what they&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Down with The Bachelor-You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Down with The Bachelor-You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Last night I flipped on The Bachelor for a peek and was horrified. This show is so degrading to women!! Considering how we&#8217;re supposed to be getting more empowered, this show is going backwards! I know much of it is probably scripted. But still. How can all those attractive, fit women vie for what they&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-10-16T20:04:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s200\/wedding.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Down with The Bachelor-You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Down with The Bachelor-You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Last night I flipped on The Bachelor for a peek and was horrified. This show is so degrading to women!! Considering how we&#8217;re supposed to be getting more empowered, this show is going backwards! I know much of it is probably scripted. But still. How can all those attractive, fit women vie for what they&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2007-10-16T20:04:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s200\/wedding.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html","name":"Down with The Bachelor-You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s200\/wedding.jpg","datePublished":"2007-10-16T20:04:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-10-16T20:04:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s200\/wedding.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/RxVVi2RWp6I\/AAAAAAAAADw\/yAvwlUPkkr8\/s200\/wedding.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/10\/down-with-the-bachelor-you-cant-win-love-on-tv.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Down with The Bachelor&#8211;You Can\u2019t Win Love on TV!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=318"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/318\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=318"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=318"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}