{"id":3167,"date":"2012-08-24T12:01:11","date_gmt":"2012-08-24T16:01:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=3167"},"modified":"2012-07-02T14:48:32","modified_gmt":"2012-07-02T18:48:32","slug":"what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-really-grow-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-really-grow-up.html","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Want to Be When You REALLY Grow Up?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/rainbow.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-3168\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/05\/rainbow-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a>The title of this article might seem confusing since you may assume that since you\u2019re an adult you\u2019re already grown up. But age doesn\u2019t necessarily make you a grown up. For me, grown up means grown into yourself, who you really want to be, evolving as a person, in a place you\u2019re content to stay in because it fuels your passion for life.<\/p>\n<p>Often we get stuck in ruts, doing the same things every day while not feeling particularly good about it. We think growing up means letting go of things that made you giddy with joy when you were much more youthful and being more responsible than passionate. When I was a DoorMat I thought I was very grown up by doing what I thought was expected of me. Boring! And not happy. I was very mature on many levels but also felt unfulfilled. Empty.<\/p>\n<p>Now I know that grown up doesn\u2019t mean mature, although they can go together. Of course others may disagree but I believe that grown up should include being happy, with satisfaction for what you do. Having a life that feels empty is not very grown up by my definition. Until you grow into your passions, your dreams, a career that\u2019s satisfying, the only thing that\u2019s grown about you is your body and your chronological age.<\/p>\n<p>Growing up on a mental level takes more time but is worth going after. You may experience different levels of growing up as you try different things to see if they fit into your life. I\u2019ve learned that the path to growing up is what adds spice to your life and keeps you smiling and stimulated. DoorMats grow into apathy, except for trying to please. I used to walk through life on autopilot, doing what I was \u201csupposed to,\u201d feeling almost comatose except for small bits of pleasure thrown in.<\/p>\n<p>Now if someone asked what I want to be when I really grow up, I answer \u201cOld, very old.\u201d Until then, I&#8217;ll still be growing!<\/p>\n<p>Your life is in the journey of growing up. When I finally reach the point of feeling settled, fulfilled, done with trying new things, I want to be very old because if I\u2019m not, I\u2019ll have stopped living with passion and trying new things too soon. Find your path to growing up and try to stay on it instead of slotting yourself as grown up. You can be mature and responsible without letting go of the delight that children feel when trying and discovering new things.<\/p>\n<p>Decide what you want to be when you REALLY grow up. Do you want to waste your life in complacency, or pleasing others, or do you want to really live on the path to growing up. I hope I never really grow up completely. You can grow into different aspects of your life without being fully grown. I want to continue to see life through fresh eyes, like kids do, and take risks that can make my life more challenging and satisfying. It\u2019s your choice. How do you choose to grow up?<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>&#8211;a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days&#8211;and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The title of this article might seem confusing since you may assume that since you\u2019re an adult you\u2019re already grown up. But age doesn\u2019t necessarily make you a grown up. For me, grown up means grown into yourself, who you really want to be, evolving as a person, in a place you\u2019re content to stay&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,14,15],"tags":[398,397],"class_list":["post-3167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-growing-up","tag-joy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Do You Want to Be When You REALLY Grow Up? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-really-grow-up.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Do You Want to Be When You REALLY Grow Up? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The title of this article might seem confusing since you may assume that since you\u2019re an adult you\u2019re already grown up. But age doesn\u2019t necessarily make you a grown up. For me, grown up means grown into yourself, who you really want to be, evolving as a person, in a place you\u2019re content to stay&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-really-grow-up.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-24T16:01:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-07-02T18:48:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/05\/rainbow-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What Do You Want to Be When You REALLY Grow Up? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/08\/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-really-grow-up.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What Do You Want to Be When You REALLY Grow Up? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"The title of this article might seem confusing since you may assume that since you\u2019re an adult you\u2019re already grown up. But age doesn\u2019t necessarily make you a grown up. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3167"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3341,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3167\/revisions\/3341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}