{"id":2975,"date":"2012-03-30T12:01:25","date_gmt":"2012-03-30T16:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2975"},"modified":"2012-03-16T13:37:58","modified_gmt":"2012-03-16T17:37:58","slug":"you-cant-do-what","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html","title":{"rendered":"You Can\u2019t Do What?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I hear \u201cI can\u2019t\u2026\u201d way too often. You may see something you want to do or someone wants you to do and it looks hard or intimidating or your confidence isn\u2019t high enough to tackle it so you write it off with \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d I stopped doing it when I realized that \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d often means \u201cI won\u2019t.\u201d While \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d may legitimately apply to certain situations\u2014you have a medical condition that prohibits it or you can\u2019t be president because you weren\u2019t born in the US or something of that nature\u2014deciding that you can\u2019t do something is usually a choice. You rule it out based on a limitation or fear that you have.<\/p>\n<p>The people who get more of what they want and the most satisfaction are those who push through all the fears and doubts to at least try. I\u2019ve gotten opportunities because of the people who were offered them first said \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d When we hear kids say they can\u2019t do something, we encourage them to try. Yet we don\u2019t have that same ethic for ourselves. We let stuff decide for us. Next time you decide you can\u2019t do something, ask yourself why not? Write down the reasons. Are the all legit? I mean really legit! Talk to yourself as you would to a child and try.<\/p>\n<p>If you need more motivation, check out this video of musician <a href=\"http:\/\/www.markgoffeney.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Mark Goffeney<\/strong><\/a>. He tours the world singing and playing guitar. While that might not seem special, you\u2019ll see he was born with no arms. Mark plays the guitar with his feet. I can\u2019t even play that well with my fingers, though I\u2019ve tried!\u00a0 Mark won\u2019t let obstacles stop him. Watch this video the next time something seems too hard for you to do as motivation. Mark says, &#8220;I can!&#8221; YOU can too.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=TscXmBUgW04\">http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=TscXmBUgW04<\/a>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I hear \u201cI can\u2019t\u2026\u201d way too often. You may see something you want to do or someone wants you to do and it looks hard or intimidating or your confidence isn\u2019t high enough to tackle it so you write it off with \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d I stopped doing it when I realized that \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d often&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,2,15],"tags":[349,350,348,347],"class_list":["post-2975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-i-can","tag-i-cant","tag-big-toe","tag-mark-goffeney"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>You Can\u2019t Do What? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"You Can\u2019t Do What? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I hear \u201cI can\u2019t\u2026\u201d way too often. You may see something you want to do or someone wants you to do and it looks hard or intimidating or your confidence isn\u2019t high enough to tackle it so you write it off with \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d I stopped doing it when I realized that \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d often&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-03-30T16:01:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-03-16T17:37:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"You Can\u2019t Do What? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"You Can\u2019t Do What? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"I hear \u201cI can\u2019t\u2026\u201d way too often. You may see something you want to do or someone wants you to do and it looks hard or intimidating or your confidence isn\u2019t high enough to tackle it so you write it off with \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d I stopped doing it when I realized that \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d often&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2012-03-30T16:01:25+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-03-16T17:37:58+00:00","author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html","name":"You Can\u2019t Do What? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-03-30T16:01:25+00:00","dateModified":"2012-03-16T17:37:58+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/03\/you-cant-do-what.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"You Can\u2019t Do What?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2975","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2975"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2975\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2980,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2975\/revisions\/2980"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2975"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2975"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2975"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}