{"id":2926,"date":"2012-04-20T12:01:28","date_gmt":"2012-04-20T16:01:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2926"},"modified":"2012-03-08T14:47:09","modified_gmt":"2012-03-08T19:47:09","slug":"what-brings-you-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/what-brings-you-down.html","title":{"rendered":"What Brings You Down?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Stuff happens. Life can be going well and then boof! A glitch appears. It could be something simple like getting a run in your stocking at work or hearing a weird noise from your car. It\u2019s common to go to refrains of \u201cWhy me? Why now?\u201d I used to let anything that went wrong or that didn\u2019t go the way I\u2019d planned to get me down. The feelings weighed on me like lead. It was hard to recognize that my response made everything worse.<\/p>\n

In my DoorMat days feeling down seemed normal–what I deserved!. I didn\u2019t seek to bring myself up the way I do now. When you\u2019re not happy with your life and you don\u2019t love yourself, it\u2019s easier to sink into a negative place when something doesn\u2019t go right. Building strong self-love gave me more armor to fight off the down moods. I realized how lousy it felt and preferred to feel good. Even when things go wrong, you can stay in a positive place.<\/p>\n

Do you like to feel down? I sure don\u2019t and I imagine you don\u2019t either. Yet we CHOOSE to take ourselves to a place of feeling down when things go wrong.<\/p>\n

Now that I love me, I watch out for triggers that bring me down and try to catch them before they do damage. Sometimes things happen that are out of your control. An accident can happen ahead of you on the highway and make you late for something important. Someone who\u2019s supposed to help you with a project that\u2019s important to you gets sick. I used to go to “Why me??!” and feel self-pity. Now I just say “Oh well” and let life flow.<\/p>\n

But often things that get you down can happen over and over and you ALLOW them to hurt your mood. For example, when my hair gets all messed up because it\u2019s humid, I can feel less attractive, hence less happy. But now I have things I can do to it\u2014quick\u2014so it looks better. Or I\u2019ll put on something I love. No longer does a bad hair day make my day bad! A friend may often go hot, then cold on a whim which drives you crazy but you allow it when you keep making plans. Mom’s nagging may always bring down your mood to negative.<\/p>\n

What brings you down? Pay attention and have options ready to diffuse it. You may have a friend who often lets you down and then you feel down after. Be more careful about counting on them in the first place. I have a good friend who often has things come up. He doesn\u2019t mean to upset me but it used to get me down when he\u2019d cancel plans as I was walking out the door or I waited for him on the street for an hour and we missed the movie. I finally\u2014nicely\u2014told him I wouldn\u2019t make plans to do something that required being somewhere at a certain time. And he\u2019d have to meet me at my place. He understood and no more downs!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not worth it to feel down when someone lets you down or you\u2019re disappointed when something you looked forward to doesn\u2019t happen or something negative happens. Life is too short! When something begins to make you feel bad, affirm, \u201cMy life is great anyway!\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m moving forward and staying happy! Or both. Or whatever makes you feel better. Watch for patterns that bring you down and find ways to short circuit them. No one or no circumstance can bring you down if YOU don\u2019t allow it to. Love yourself enough to stay positive!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stuff happens. Life can be going well and then boof! A glitch appears. It could be something simple like getting a run in your stocking at work or hearing a weird noise from your car. It\u2019s common to go to refrains of \u201cWhy me? Why now?\u201d I used to let anything that went wrong or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,14,2,15],"tags":[341,340,88],"class_list":["post-2926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-feeling-down","tag-negative-stuff","tag-self-empowerment"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Brings You Down? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/what-brings-you-down.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Brings You Down? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Stuff happens. Life can be going well and then boof! A glitch appears. It could be something simple like getting a run in your stocking at work or hearing a weird noise from your car. It\u2019s common to go to refrains of \u201cWhy me? 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2926"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2926\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2928,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2926\/revisions\/2928"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2926"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2926"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}