{"id":2901,"date":"2012-04-16T12:01:58","date_gmt":"2012-04-16T16:01:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2901"},"modified":"2012-03-07T15:46:21","modified_gmt":"2012-03-07T20:46:21","slug":"how-do-you-want-to-be-remembered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/how-do-you-want-to-be-remembered.html","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Want to Be Remembered?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2902\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a>Someone I know who I\u2019ll call Cindy passed away suddenly at forty-one. She was healthy and never expected to be killed in a car accident. I was with some of her friends soon after and they talked about her funeral and her life. What made an impact on me while I listened was how my first thought was when I pass away, I don\u2019t want people to remember me the way they remember Cindy.<\/p>\n<p>They didn\u2019t say anything bad. Cindy was a nice person. She meant well. But the words about her were more polite ways of honoring a nice person who had died than accolades or accomplishments. At her funeral the attributions were similar. I was curious and asked about what dreams she had that she\u2019d made real. I heard about the book she planned to write one day and the charity she was trying to make time to help with. But she&#8217;d postponed\u00a0 it all for the future, which now was over.<\/p>\n<p>Cindy had put off doing the things that mattered to her most in the name of being practical. She was waiting for prices to go down before she took the trip to Europe she longed for. Her need to do chores on time meant she chose laundry over helping at a charity event. Cindy was always waiting for the right time to do all the things she wanted to do. She stayed at the job she hated because she was afraid of not being able to get one that interested her and felt she should be grateful for an income where she was.<\/p>\n<p>You never know when your time will come but I\u2019m sure you\u2019d liked to be remembered in a positive way for doing what matters to you.<\/p>\n<p>This triggered memories of my DoorMat years when I jumped to do everyone\u2019s bidding but my own.\u00a0 I remember hating how I saw myself and used to wonder if I disappeared, if anyone would notice or how would they remember me? As the weak insecure go-to person for favors? As the woman who gave to everyone but herself? As the pathetic woman who didn\u2019t value herself? That wasn&#8217;t who I wanted to be! So I took charge as I got on the train out of DoorMatville.<\/p>\n<p>I want to be remembered for doing good stuff but also for being a strong confident woman who takes good care of herself. I try to live with integrity so I\u2019m not remembered as a liar or cheater or someone who doesn\u2019t keep her word or uses people. I also want to be remembered for helping people through\u00a0 my writing and speaking. Being conscious of how you want people to see and remember you helps you make better choices. I want to have as many years as I can to solidify the image people have of me in a good way.<\/p>\n<p>So how do you want to be remembered? Are you that person yet? If not, be more aware of how you live so you can be someone you\u2019re proud of!<br \/>\n***************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-2012.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Someone I know who I\u2019ll call Cindy passed away suddenly at forty-one. She was healthy and never expected to be killed in a car accident. I was with some of her friends soon after and they talked about her funeral and her life. What made an impact on me while I listened was how my&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[334,27],"class_list":["post-2901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-image","tag-self-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Do You Want to Be Remembered? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/how-do-you-want-to-be-remembered.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Do You Want to Be Remembered? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Someone I know who I\u2019ll call Cindy passed away suddenly at forty-one. She was healthy and never expected to be killed in a car accident. I was with some of her friends soon after and they talked about her funeral and her life. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2901"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2901\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2913,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2901\/revisions\/2913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}