{"id":287,"date":"2007-12-10T19:59:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-10T19:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html"},"modified":"2007-12-10T19:59:00","modified_gmt":"2007-12-10T19:59:00","slug":"jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html","title":{"rendered":"Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

You may have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt was vacationing with her boyfriend and the paparazzi nailed her in a swimsuit. It was all over the news, much like the pics of Tyra Banks in a swimsuit a while back. They took unflattering close-ups of body parts that weren\u2019t perfect. Bloggers had a field day calling Jennifer fat. Yet she\u2019s a size 4! HELLO!<\/span><\/p>\n

For you guys who question why women are so insecure about their bodies, listen up! There are good reasons why many of us are self-conscious about our imperfections.
<\/span>
If someone who wears a size 4 gets ridiculed for being fat, how does that make the rest of us women feel!!? Pretty lousy to a woman who isn\u2019t secure to begin with. Me, my self-love is too strong now to let it rattle my over size 4 butt. But too many women suffer the residuals of these absurd digs at imperfect, AKA normal bodies!<\/span> I trust that the karma these folks give out will come back to hit them in their big fat sorry butts. <\/p>\n

THE BAD NEWS<\/span>
Perfection is impossible. Some, and these days many, folks run to plastic surgeons to remake themselves. Women in particular are treating themselves like a car that needs bodywork.<\/span> Suck out some cellulite; remove excess skin; pick someone\u2019s chin, nose, cheekbones, etc. and order it from the doc; have cosmetic surgery. The numbers of bulimic and anorexic women keeps rising. Redoing who you are makes you forget how to be true to you, and to love who you are\u2014all in the name of \u201clooking good.\u201d<\/p>\n

And at what cost? While a majority of surgeries and procedures go well, those that fail have serious repercussions, including making you look much worse, distorted, ill, and even DEATH!<\/span><\/p>\n

Kanye West\u2019s mother, Donda, God rest her soul, didn\u2019t listen to one surgeon\u2019s warnings about her potential for heart problems during surgery and sadly, his concerns proved true. So she died, for a tummy tuck and breast reduction! Olivia Goldsmith, author of the book, First Wives Club, passed away almost five years ago after complications from anesthesia for a simple chin tuck, considered minor surgery. The surgery itself wasn\u2019t the problem, but anesthesia can be dangerous. Yet she risked having it just to improve her chin!<\/p>\n

Chasing that elusive perfect body can make you do things that aren\u2019t in your best interest.<\/span><\/p>\n

Men ask me what would make a woman so concerned about her looks that she\u2019d risk her health, or life. Watch the media. We look at airbrushed women in magazines and strive to be like them.<\/span> Even the women who get airbrushed feel insecure about it, knowing their bodies aren\u2019t good enough to be seen the way they are!<\/p>\n

FACT:<\/span> Cellulite is hereditary. Even thin women have it. Starving doesn\u2019t get rid of it. Only airbrushing does. Or the perfect lighting, wardrobe and makeup used on TV sets and in movies. <\/p>\n

FACT:<\/span> Our bodies change as we get older. We can do what we can to offset it with exercise and healthy nutrition. But ya probably won\u2019t look like a nubile 20-year old when you\u2019re 50, 40 or even 30. Get over the need to look perfect or risk your health making unnatural changes.

FACT:<\/span> Most people who aren\u2019t happy without alterations, don\u2019t stay happy when they get them. You may temporarily smile over the new you. But soon you\u2019ll find other things to bring you down. Cellulite returns. Skin gets stretched to the max after too many facelifts. I see many women with a line-free but typical pulled face look. Their faces have a mutant look to me. It\u2019s obvious and not real.<\/p>\n

Body bashing becomes contagious as women accept the phony standards for what they should look like.<\/span> <\/p>\n

We\u2019ve become a society obsessed with having a perfect body. While a woman\u2019s body is much more in the spotlight, men feel the pressure of body image too<\/span>, in different ways. There are comparisons at the gym; a need to take control of how they look. I had a boyfriend who was a gym rat. While relaxing on a Sunday morning, a week of getting intimate, he asked why someone like me, who teaches how to develop good self-esteem, didn\u2019t work out more to make her body better. He acknowledged that he loved my body, but I should work harder to make it perfect. <\/p>\n

I pointed to the door and said if he wasn\u2019t happy with me right now, he should leave and not come back.<\/span> He stayed, but I knew it wouldn\u2019t last.<\/p>\n

He strived for perfection in himself too. To me his body was perfect. Yet he ran to the gym every day. One day he called, sounding very upset. \u201cI have water in my stomach and I\u2019m worried.\u201d As I imagined him having some disease, he went on the explain that after his shower, a little water rested in a fold of his belly skin, which meant he wasn\u2019t flat enough! It didn\u2019t matter that I LOVED his body. Without perfection, he was always down. He said that good self-esteem meant striving for perfection. <\/p>\n

Wrong! Good self-esteem means accepting yourself as you are, imperfections and all! I lost 170 pounds when I cut him loose!<\/span><\/p>\n

THE GOOD NEWS <\/span>
Body perception can change if you CHOOSE to allow it! When women say no more to unrealistic standards, they won\u2019t have the impact they have now.<\/span> When women begin to love their bodies, imperfections and cellulite, there will be many more secure and happy women. When the media stops pushing perfection down our throats as what we should look like, we\u2019ll be happier with our typical, less perfect bodies. <\/p>\n

Look around you in a gym locker room and see how many perfect bodies you see. Most of us have more flab than shows with clothing on. I do! ?<\/span><\/p>\n

Several years ago Jamie Lee Curtis<\/span> pioneered awareness of the unnatural images in magazines when she posed for More magazine in her underwear<\/a><\/span>, with no makeup or airbrushing. She wanted other women to see how she looks without the help of computers. She was still beautiful, but looked more like a real woman<\/span> than a perfect picture. I applauded her then and continue to see her as an amazing role model.

Nobody makes you insecure. You make yourself that way when you allow what others say to become your TRUTH.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just because someone says you\u2019re fat, doesn\u2019t mean you are, unless you see yourself as fat because of it. Jamie Lee, Tyra and now Jennifer refuse to accept the media perception. I stood up and applauded Jennifer Love Hewitt\u2019s response<\/a><\/span> to the bloggers and others who made a big fuss over close-ups of her upper thighs and butt. As they slung crap, she flung it right back! No matter what was said, she CHOSE to not accept it. She\u2019s NOT fat, no matter wha
\nt they say. She\u2019s a woman who knows who she is and accepts herself in her own skin. <\/p>\n

Tyra Banks kicked back hard too.<\/span> This beautiful, shapely modeled was \u201couted\u201d by cameras with a close-up of her upper thigh. PU-LEASE! Any man who can\u2019t accept the beauty of these women needs a brain transplant!<\/p>\n

Aren\u2019t there much more important things to publicize than a bit of cellulite captured at a bad angle by a camera?<\/span><\/p>\n

Change your body perception and learn to laugh at the messages in the media. I confess. I\u2019m not perfectly thin and never have been. When I was a DoorMat, I always saw myself as fat because many girls were thinner than me. It fueled my insecurity. I excessively pleased everyone to make up for my fat body. Yes, I thought I needed to try harder or no one would want to be around a fat girl. Yet I wasn\u2019t fat. Thinking I was held me back with meeting guys. Now that I LOVE me, I know that my curves are sexy, not fat.<\/span> And, I meet a lot more guys who openly appreciate my body too. <\/p>\n

When my abovementioned ex-boyfriend criticized my bod, I saw it as HIS problem, not mine.<\/span><\/p>\n

MEN<\/span>\u2014start accepting that most women have cellulite and that sometimes it\u2019s hard to lose weight no matter what we do. Are you perfect? Women accept so much more, or less, in men than is accepted in us. Appreciate women for who they are, not just what they look like.<\/p>\n

WOMEN<\/span>\u2014show your body love! It\u2019s yours. Walk around naked and get more comfortable with it. Feel your soft lovely curves. Look at paintings by Rubens and see how badly we\u2019ve skewed off course from appreciating a true womanly body. Changing yours with starving, surgery or unhealthy procedures won\u2019t bring true happiness if you don\u2019t love yourself. <\/p>\n

Women like Jamie Lee Curtis, Tyra Banks and Jennifer Love Hewitt are truly pioneers for a new women\u2019s movement, one that\u2019s slowly guiding us to be more realistic about what a normal body looks like.<\/span> Get on board! Focus on being healthy, not thin or perfect. <\/p>\n

Instead of fighting fat, fight the stereotypes that make almost every woman\u2019s body unacceptable.<\/span> Put your energy into loving yourself more and self-acceptance will follow! This former DoorMat can attest to that!<\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!

\"AddThis<\/a> var addthis_pub = ‘wryter’;
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You may have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt was vacationing with her boyfriend and the paparazzi nailed her in a swimsuit. It was all over the news, much like the pics of Tyra Banks in a swimsuit a while back. They took unflattering close-ups of body parts that weren\u2019t perfect. Bloggers had a field day…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"\nJennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You may have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt was vacationing with her boyfriend and the paparazzi nailed her in a swimsuit. It was all over the news, much like the pics of Tyra Banks in a swimsuit a while back. They took unflattering close-ups of body parts that weren\u2019t perfect. Bloggers had a field day…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-12-10T19:59:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R13i_wc4VjI\/AAAAAAAAAH0\/DtS1eHmmI2o\/s200\/someone%27s+butt.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"You may have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt was vacationing with her boyfriend and the paparazzi nailed her in a swimsuit. It was all over the news, much like the pics of Tyra Banks in a swimsuit a while back. They took unflattering close-ups of body parts that weren\u2019t perfect. Bloggers had a field day…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2007-12-10T19:59:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R13i_wc4VjI\/AAAAAAAAAH0\/DtS1eHmmI2o\/s200\/someone%27s+butt.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html","name":"Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R13i_wc4VjI\/AAAAAAAAAH0\/DtS1eHmmI2o\/s200\/someone%27s+butt.jpg","datePublished":"2007-12-10T19:59:00+00:00","dateModified":"2007-12-10T19:59:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R13i_wc4VjI\/AAAAAAAAAH0\/DtS1eHmmI2o\/s200\/someone%27s+butt.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R13i_wc4VjI\/AAAAAAAAAH0\/DtS1eHmmI2o\/s200\/someone%27s+butt.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/jennifer-love-hewitt-chooses-to-not-be-fat.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=287"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}