{"id":2865,"date":"2012-04-02T12:01:24","date_gmt":"2012-04-02T16:01:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2865"},"modified":"2012-03-06T13:04:55","modified_gmt":"2012-03-06T18:04:55","slug":"minimizing-actions-of-unimportant-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/minimizing-actions-of-unimportant-people.html","title":{"rendered":"Minimizing Actions of Unimportant People"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Have you ever had a waiter who was impossible to deal with, but you had to? Maybe he got your order wrong and had a snotty attitude. Someone like that can trigger you to leave the restaurant in a bad mood. In the \u201cold\u201d days I\u2019d complain about it to everyone who\u2019d listen and keep the memory alive. I was so \u201cgood\u201d at it that I could keep it alive for days. My meal was long over but the irritation stayed with me. Even though I\u2019d complained to the manager about the waiter\u2014the only thing I could really have done\u2014 and the incident was over, I let my feelings about it consume me.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t know the waiter. He was unimportant to my life. Yet I let him have all that power over it. We often let meaningless people have a inordinate amount of power over us when we hold onto what they did. Someone may beat you out of a parking space you\u2019d been waiting for by taking advantage of the angle that the car used to pull out that kept you from getting in first. You find another spot quickly but stew over \u201cHow could he do that? It\u2019s rude!\u201d all day. Or you growl all day about the rude person at the coffee shop.<\/p>\n

These people are strangers and the incidents are over, but we make these unimportant people so important by keeping what they did in our thoughts. Instead of feeling happy, you make walk around growling and looking for people to complain about it to, like I used to do. It\u2019s so counterproductive for nurturing a happy life and does nothing for you. You may want to hurt them but with every stew and complaint, you allow these strangers to hurt you over and over by staying with you.<\/p>\n

The best solution? Ignore them. Leave them in the past with their negative actions. I know it can be hard when your annoyance is high. So complain to one or two people and then let it go. That\u2019s what I do now. I like to get it off my chest and get some validation for my feelings and acknowledgement that I\u2019m right that the person was wrong. After one of two times, it\u2019s history.<\/p>\n

Next time a stranger annoys you and you begin to tell many people about it, and know you\u2019re holding it inside you, take a deep breath and ask yourself for what purpose are you doing that. You\u2019ll rarely if ever have a good answer. The rude cashier doesn\u2019t matter in the picture of your life! The person who cut in front of you on the highway is long gone. Don\u2019t wish evil on them! Instead, save your energy to work negative situations out with people who matter to you. Leave the unimportant people where they belong\u2014in the past!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever had a waiter who was impossible to deal with, but you had to? Maybe he got your order wrong and had a snotty attitude. Someone like that can trigger you to leave the restaurant in a bad mood. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2865"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2867,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2865\/revisions\/2867"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}