{"id":283,"date":"2007-12-21T16:10:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-21T16:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/dancing-through-the-holiday-season.html"},"modified":"2007-12-21T16:10:00","modified_gmt":"2007-12-21T16:10:00","slug":"dancing-through-the-holiday-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/dancing-through-the-holiday-season.html","title":{"rendered":"Dancing Through the Holiday Season"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R2ws8V0xecI\/AAAAAAAAAIk\/mom7KNtrMGk\/s1600-h\/Daylle+%26+Debbie+Nigro+1\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:left;margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer;cursor:hand\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R2ws8V0xecI\/AAAAAAAAAIk\/mom7KNtrMGk\/s200\/Daylle+%26+Debbie+Nigro+1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>I was recently interviewed for <span style=\"font-weight:bold\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.firstwivesworld.com\">First Wives World<\/a><\/span> by its founder, <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Debbie Nigro<\/span>. The topic was <span style=\"font-weight:bold\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.firstwivesworld.com\/resource\/debbie-does-divorce\/debbie-nigro\/5-ways-stay-positive-during-the-holidays\">5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holidays<\/a><\/span>. <\/p>\n<p>My first suggestion? <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Why worry about staying positive when the holidays are fun!?! So, dance through them, even if you don\u2019t have a romantic partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>We often use a romantic partner as a barometer for whether or not we\u2019re happy or having fun. That\u2019s so self-defeating! <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">If you\u2019ve recently divorced or broken up with a partner, you might be feeling down. So start dancing!<\/span> It\u2019s YOUR life. Why ruin it with what ifs or anger toward your ex? The first New Years eve after my divorce, a friend I was supposed to have dinner with called to say she\u2019d gathered some articles about how rotten men could be so we could spend the night male bashing. She thought that would make me happy!<\/p>\n<p>Why on earth think that a negative discussion could bring joy?? Yet <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">so many folks indulge in stoking anger instead of getting rid of it.<\/span> I told my friend to leave the articles, or herself, home. : )<\/p>\n<p>I LOVE men! Malebashing is far from my objectives! <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Why not enjoy the holidays solo, even if there\u2019s no one special in your life?<\/span> I sure do! Right now I\u2019m not dating anyone. Not one guy! But that\u2019s MY CHOICE, not my sentence. I\u2019m currently writing several books, doing my end of year cleaning, and many other things. I definitely have room for a man, but only the RIGHT one. If a guy isn\u2019t worth my time, I won\u2019t give up my other activities for him!<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m open minded about meeting guys. But, if he bores me from the get-go and I feel NO connection, it isn\u2019t worth the free meal some women say they go out for. I can cook well, or take myself to a restaurant! It\u2019s not worth spending an evening with someone when I have so many other things I love to do. My connection needs to be mental. Of course I want to find him attractive, but I\u2019ve passed on hot guys who didn\u2019t do it to me on other levels. <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">When I can have a great intelligent conversation with a guy, it\u2019s a bigger turn-on on than looking at a hot airhead.<\/span> <\/p>\n<p>So I\u2019m dancing through the holiday season. Enjoying friends and family. And enjoying time with my favorite person\u2014ME! : ) When I was a DoorMat, being alone for even a day gave me chills of fear. Now I look forward to it. My biggest advice on Debbie\u2019s show was what I give in all my books\u2014<span style=\"font-weight:bold\">If you want to be happy, get a life!<\/span> My life extends into the holiday season. I\u2019ve stopped hanging with negative folks too, which leaves me much more energy. If I get negative solo, I\u2019m the one responsible. Since I love me, I try not to do that.<\/p>\n<p>So for this week and beyond, <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">I\u2019ll be celebrating me and my acceptance of the life I love, with or without a romantic partner.<\/span> I wish you all a fun-filled dance through the holidays!<br \/><span style=\"font-weight:bold\"><br \/>If you\u2019d like to see my interview with Debbie Nigro of First Wives World, check out<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight:bold\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.firstwivesworld.com\/resource\/debbie-does-divorce\/debbie-nigro\/5-ways-stay-positive-during-the-holidays\">5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holidays<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" width=\"125\" height=\"16\" border=\"0\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;  <br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was recently interviewed for First Wives World by its founder, Debbie Nigro. The topic was 5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holidays. My first suggestion? Why worry about staying positive when the holidays are fun!?! So, dance through them, even if you don\u2019t have a romantic partner. We often use a romantic partner&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dancing Through the Holiday Season - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/dancing-through-the-holiday-season.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dancing Through the Holiday Season - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I was recently interviewed for First Wives World by its founder, Debbie Nigro. The topic was 5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holidays. My first suggestion? Why worry about staying positive when the holidays are fun!?! So, dance through them, even if you don\u2019t have a romantic partner. We often use a romantic partner&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/dancing-through-the-holiday-season.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-12-21T16:10:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R2ws8V0xecI\/AAAAAAAAAIk\/mom7KNtrMGk\/s200\/Daylle+%26+Debbie+Nigro+1\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dancing Through the Holiday Season - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2007\/12\/dancing-through-the-holiday-season.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dancing Through the Holiday Season - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"I was recently interviewed for First Wives World by its founder, Debbie Nigro. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=283"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}