{"id":2819,"date":"2012-04-06T12:01:37","date_gmt":"2012-04-06T16:01:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2819"},"modified":"2012-03-06T16:07:30","modified_gmt":"2012-03-06T21:07:30","slug":"stop-living-in-the-future","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/stop-living-in-the-future.html","title":{"rendered":"Stop Living in the Future"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Many people\u00a0 live in the future\u2014postponing the enjoyment of life until something you\u2019d like happens. It gives your daydreams control over happiness right now. We think about how nice it will be when we meet the romantic partner of our dreams, or find that perfect job, or get the body we long for or a million other things we hope for.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with wanting those things. I do. And when I was a DoorMat I lived in my dreams, waiting for my Prince Charming to take me away and for the fat fairy to make me slim. All of this reinforced being unhappy with what I had and who I was. Fortunately I\u2019ve learned that what\u2019s most important is what I have and who I am right now. Looking to the future to find happiness kept me from enjoying my life in the present. No more! I still have big dreams but keep them in a positive perspective.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m currently not in a relationship. I\u2019d love to be with a man who makes me happy. But I see this man as a sweet addition to my already sweet life. I don\u2019t feel lacking for not having a boyfriend. I truly believe that when the time is right I\u2019ll meet a great guy. But in the meantime, my life is still satisfying and full of joy. For years I lived to meet a guy who\u2019d complete me. No more! I understand that what\u2019s in the future will come soon enough and when it does, I\u2019ll enjoy it. But my life is now and now I\u2019m happy solo.<\/p>\n

Many of my clients come to me and say they’re waiting for the person or weight loss or better job or other external things to come before they can be happy with themselves and their lives, which is counterproductive. When you work on your inner peace, life improves because you begin to appreciate where you are right now, not where you hope to be some day. The best way to accomplish this is to make the effort to love yourself. The more you do, the more your happiness comes form an internal place, not from wishful thinking about what can happen in the future.<\/p>\n

Step into today. What do you have now that\u2019s good? Appreciate it! Make an effort to improve the person you are. Do good things for other people. Be someone you\u2019re proud of, not for your body or ability to earn money but for your integrity and good heart. The more you enjoy your life in the moment, the more likely you\u2019ll be to find more joy. When you stop waiting for things in the future to make you happy, you can find happiness inside you right now!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many people\u00a0 live in the future\u2014postponing the enjoyment of life until something you\u2019d like happens. It gives your daydreams control over happiness right now. We think about how nice it will be when we meet the romantic partner of our dreams, or find that perfect job, or get the body we long for or a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,2,15],"tags":[297],"class_list":["post-2819","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-living-in-now"],"yoast_head":"\nStop Living in the Future - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/04\/stop-living-in-the-future.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stop Living in the Future - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many people\u00a0 live in the future\u2014postponing the enjoyment of life until something you\u2019d like happens. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2819","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2819"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2819\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2885,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2819\/revisions\/2885"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}