{"id":26,"date":"2010-02-16T17:31:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-16T17:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html"},"modified":"2010-02-16T17:31:00","modified_gmt":"2010-02-16T17:31:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s1600-h\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 154px;height: 200px\" src=\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>This is post 74 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\">the posts in this series<\/a> to see how.<\/p>\n<p>I have a family member I\u2019ll call Val. I don\u2019t like her. Growing up I consistently found her self-serving and sneaky. As a child, my mom told me to just turn the other cheek and be nice. I had resentment but kept my mouth shut, until she did something that I considered nasty to my parents years ago. Her words and actions hurt them immeasurably. That was it for me. I wanted nothing more to do with her and carried a grudge for years.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Grudges send a bad vibe to the Universe. Carrying one shows a lack of forgiveness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Grudges stoke anger and anger is never good for you when it stays with you over time. Whenever I\u2019d hear Val\u2019s name mentioned I\u2019d snarl. And, I\u2019d talk about how awful she was to anyone who\u2019d listen. Looking back, I was right to know she wasn\u2019t good to have in my life. But, my anger was unnecessary. What happened was over, yet I kept it alive by carrying a grudge toward her.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Grudges attract negativity by keeping bad memories alive. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Holding onto the grudges holds onto the past. But this is the present! The feelings behind the grudges don\u2019t allow you to live fully in the now and serve no purpose. Forgiving the person you feel a grudge against frees you from negative vibes. People often question when I advise forgiving someone who did something blatantly wrong. Forgiving is for YOU, not for them.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Forgiving someone who hurt you allows you to let the negatives go. This attracts more positive circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not necessary to forgive a person directly. You never have to see or communicate with them. You can forgive in your heart. Say out loud that you don\u2019t like what the person did but you forgive him or her. Or write down what the person did, read it aloud, then express forgiveness and burn the paper (in the sink so you don\u2019t start a fire. : ) That tells the Universe you\u2019ve let go of the grudge and are ready to move forward more peacefully.<\/p>\n<p>Desmond Tutu said, \u201c<span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Forgiving is not forgetting; it&#8217;s actually remembering\u2014remembering and not using your right to hit back. It&#8217;s a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don&#8217;t want to repeat what happened<\/span>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t forget this! Forgiving doesn\u2019t mean things are good between you and the person or forgetting what happened. Forgiving doesn\u2019t mean excusing the person. You don\u2019t have to like what the person did, or like the person any more than you did before. It does mean sending a positive message to the Universe. Grudges instigate negative thoughts and stir thoughts of getting revenge, which brings negatives back to you. Forgiving allows you to release any desire to get even, which attracts peace and more positive circumstances.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Forgiving is letting go of the emotional attachment to what caused your grudge against someone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Grudges make you Grrr&#8230; when you think of the person. Forgiving changes your emotions. As I said in my post on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-emotions.html\">Emotions<\/a>, emotions fuel what you attract. Grudges keep negative emotions alive. Forgiving releases them and allows you to stimulate more of the positive ones that attract what you want. Remember, negative emotions are more potent than positive ones. They stick more. Forgiving is a potent way to release them. A few years ago, I learned that Val would be at a funeral I was going to. My blood began boiling as I thought of her. I knew it was time to forgive. After releasing my anger and forgiving her in my heart, I could interact with her in a civilized manner. She suggested we get together. I said nothing.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">She\u2019s history now, along with my grudge and it feels better!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Think about any grudges you might still have. Are they worth the negative energy? Learn from what someone did to you and then try to forgive so you can move forward. The lessons will hopefully prevent repeating what happened. Grudges attract anger, resentment, and a need for hurting the person back. YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">When your faith is strong, you can put it into God\u2019s hands to take care of the person for you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>A few years ago, someone who works in my building decided to do very loud work in the apartment above me before 8AM on a Saturday morning. It scared me to wake up to loud noise above my head and I was angry. It was wrong to do that! Completely inconsiderate. He knew it would bother me but did it anyway. My first instinct was to tell him off but I knew he knew what he\u2019d done and how much I\u2019d hate it. Instead, I wrote him a short note.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Knowing he\u2019s religious, I said I forgive him and was putting what he\u2019d attract into God\u2019s hands. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>It was 2 weeks before Christmas. I admit to getting a kick out of handing him the note in an envelope as he said thanks, thinking it was his Christmas tip. I went to Macy\u2019s with the tip! And, the next week I learned that he was very upset. The time he was supposed to get off for the holidays was revoked because he was needed. I looked up to the sky and smiled! My forgiveness and releasing my grudge against him attracted a messed up vacation. It was over! He attracted that and I didn\u2019t need to hold the grudge. <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Leave revenge to the Universe. It does take place! <\/span>Positive thoughts and energy is so much better than the negatives from carrying a grudge. See if you have any still festering, forgive anyone involved, and move on, knowing what they did will or has come back to them! Then you can focus on attracting more positive situations!<\/p>\n<p>See all the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-series.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Law of Attraction in Action Series.<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;; <br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is post 74 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. I have a family member I\u2019ll call Val. I don\u2019t like her. Growing up I consistently&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anger"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is post 74 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. I have a family member I\u2019ll call Val. I don\u2019t like her. Growing up I consistently&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-02-16T17:31:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"This is post 74 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. I have a family member I\u2019ll call Val. I don\u2019t like her. Growing up I consistently&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2010-02-16T17:31:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html","name":"Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg","datePublished":"2010-02-16T17:31:00+00:00","dateModified":"2010-02-16T17:31:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SaHpXrJCljI\/AAAAAAAAA2U\/pXTiy5hJCLU\/s200\/*+LOA+logo2.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2010\/02\/law-of-attraction-in-action-grudges.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Law of Attraction in Action: Grudges"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}