{"id":257,"date":"2008-02-27T14:22:00","date_gmt":"2008-02-27T14:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html"},"modified":"2008-02-27T14:22:00","modified_gmt":"2008-02-27T14:22:00","slug":"i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html","title":{"rendered":"I Promise Not to Eat It All!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
I went to my local diner for breakfast and next to me was a solo chick. She ordered an omelet. The waiter asked if she wanted home or French fries. She chose home fries, then added, with a guilty look and tone, \u201cBut I won\u2019t eat them all.\u201d<\/span> I perked up. The waiter gave her a weird look as she emphasized a need to make it perfectly clear that while she wanted the potatoes, she intended to leave some. <\/p>\n

Did she really think the waiter gave a rat\u2019s behind whether she ate them? Guilt about eating something fattening made her qualify out loud that she believed she was bad for eating them<\/span>, thus she planned to leave some. Penance for a desire to eat tasty food? She wanted the potatoes too much to say no to them altogether, but wouldn\u2019t let herself enjoy them! I ate mine as I listened in and felt compassion for this woman who wouldn\u2019t enjoy the yummy potatoes that I savored. What was she really saying?<\/p>\n

Interpretation<\/span>: \u201cI know I\u2019m a bad girl for eating potatoes. Therefore, I\u2019m going to reassure myself\u2014and ruin my pleasure in eating them\u2014by making it clear that I know I shouldn\u2019t eat them and will leave some.\u201d<\/p>\n

Many of us were trained to feel guilt about eating something yummy with many calorie. I hate being around folks like that! I try to eat healthy but indulge when I feel like it\u2014guilt free! Yet many women ruin their pleasure by believing they\u2019re wrong to eat what they\u2019d like if it isn\u2019t low in calories<\/span>. That can increase a desire for goodies since it\u2019s harder to feel satisfied if you don\u2019t enjoy your treats.<\/p>\n

Growing up, I remember people watching how much I ate and discouraging me from having another cookie or seconds of anything that didn\u2019t grow in a garden. That\u2019s how sneak eaters get their bad habits! As a young adult I remember time and time again being asked if I really wanted that second piece of pie or helping of something. The DoorMat in me used to drop her fork or pull back quickly to avoid looking like a pig. The more I loved food, the more guilt I had. <\/p>\n

Nowadays, being out of DoorMatville, if I\u2019m asked, \u201cDo you think you should have that?\u201d I ask if they think I\u2019m an idiot who doesn\u2019t know what she\u2019s doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

It shocks them. I\u2019m not stupid and can certainly decide for myself what I choose to eat. I get \u201cI\u2019m just trying to help\u201d types of lame statements. To which I reply that I know what\u2019s best for me. It often shuts them up. I hate being around women who punish themselves with guilt about having something that\u2019s a little fattening. It\u2019s one thing to gorge all day long. But I eat healthy most of the time and if I go to the diner for breakfast, I\u2019m gonna enjoy my bacon, eggs, potatoes and toast!<\/p>\n

Yet food guilt is strong in many women. And it can ruin the pleasure of those around them.<\/span><\/p>\n

I love fudge and feel it\u2019s my duty\u2014yes, my duty!\u2014to indulge if I see it when I travel. I don\u2019t get it at home. But one of my favorite vacation treats is fudge\u2014just one small piece time because I have sugar limits\u2014and I enjoy the heck out of it! Years ago I went on vacation with a friend. When I bought fudge, my very slim friend bought a small piece too. I was in fudge heaven until she began ranting about what a fat pig she was. While I\u2019m much larger than her size 4 frame, I\u2019m not a fat pig. Yet she bemoaned every bite and ruined my joy. <\/p>\n

I put the rest of my fudge away for later when she wasn\u2019t eating hers. She was determined to ruin her own pleasure and in the process ruined mine.<\/span> I told her to lighten up. She was so thin and one small piece of fudge wouldn\u2019t hurt her body. But she was in agony. Agony! From a stinkin\u2019 little piece of fudge! I had mine later when she wasn\u2019t around. But I never traveled with her again. Treats are for enjoying!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s good to try to eat healthy. I do. But if you indulge, enjoy it! The woman in the diner kept picking at her potatoes like she was afraid the fat police would come and arrest her. Eventually she told the waiter to take her plate because \u201cI shouldn\u2019t eat more.\u201d Again, did this waiter who didn\u2019t know her care? Did she think he never saw a woman eating potatoes and was judging her?!? <\/p>\n

I wanted to tell her to lighten up. There\u2019s certainly no need to justify eating habits to a waiter. Being secure in who you are makes you secure in your eating habits too.<\/span> Try your best to eat healthy most of the time and enjoy treats when you don\u2019t! Then be a little more careful with what you eat next. Some people who know how I look would think I should be guilty about saying that since I can stand to lose some pounds. But now my self-image is hot and sexy, despite what anyone else thinks. This DoorMat has come far in loving and accepting herself, extra pounds and all!<\/p>\n

So anyone who judges my indulgences can stick a potato you know where! ?<\/span> <\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!

\"AddThis<\/a> var addthis_pub = ‘wryter’;
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I went to my local diner for breakfast and next to me was a solo chick. She ordered an omelet. The waiter asked if she wanted home or French fries. She chose home fries, then added, with a guilty look and tone, \u201cBut I won\u2019t eat them all.\u201d I perked up. The waiter gave her…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"\nI Promise Not to Eat It All! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Promise Not to Eat It All! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I went to my local diner for breakfast and next to me was a solo chick. She ordered an omelet. The waiter asked if she wanted home or French fries. She chose home fries, then added, with a guilty look and tone, \u201cBut I won\u2019t eat them all.\u201d I perked up. The waiter gave her…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-02-27T14:22:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R8XA10Zhu6I\/AAAAAAAAANs\/GQA9f3I18pM\/s200\/breakfast.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Promise Not to Eat It All! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I Promise Not to Eat It All! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"I went to my local diner for breakfast and next to me was a solo chick. She ordered an omelet. The waiter asked if she wanted home or French fries. She chose home fries, then added, with a guilty look and tone, \u201cBut I won\u2019t eat them all.\u201d I perked up. The waiter gave her…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2008-02-27T14:22:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R8XA10Zhu6I\/AAAAAAAAANs\/GQA9f3I18pM\/s200\/breakfast.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html","name":"I Promise Not to Eat It All! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R8XA10Zhu6I\/AAAAAAAAANs\/GQA9f3I18pM\/s200\/breakfast.jpg","datePublished":"2008-02-27T14:22:00+00:00","dateModified":"2008-02-27T14:22:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R8XA10Zhu6I\/AAAAAAAAANs\/GQA9f3I18pM\/s200\/breakfast.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R8XA10Zhu6I\/AAAAAAAAANs\/GQA9f3I18pM\/s200\/breakfast.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/02\/i-promise-not-to-eat-it-all.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I Promise Not to Eat It All!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4038,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions\/4038"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}