{"id":2565,"date":"2012-01-27T12:01:43","date_gmt":"2012-01-27T17:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2565"},"modified":"2012-01-07T13:39:07","modified_gmt":"2012-01-07T18:39:07","slug":"do-you-have-the-patience-to-be-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/do-you-have-the-patience-to-be-happy.html","title":{"rendered":"Do You Have the Patience to Be Happy?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/em>Today is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month<\/a><\/strong> with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>You have the patience to wait on line to buy a ticket to a movie you\u2019re anxious to see or to pay for an item you really want in a store. You have the patience to learn a skill or new language that interests you or to get better at using an electronic gadget or doing social media or fixing something to save money on paying someone else to do it or learn to drive or other skills in everyday life.<\/p>\n

Yet so many of us don\u2019t have the patience to learn who we are and how to love ourselves so we can be happy.<\/p>\n

We put time into external activities in an effort to find the kind of happiness that\u2019s often elusive, because we don\u2019t take the time to nurture ourselves. Becoming a happy person doesn’t happen overnight. It\u2019s not about buying something expensive or losing weight or having prestige in your career. If you want to be truly happy, you need to patiently get to know what makes you tick in your heart and your soul.<\/p>\n

Find out what really matters to you. The joy from a purchase or other external accomplishment can be fleeting for the moment you have it but rarely creates inner contentment. That comes from taking the long route to happiness\u2014figuring out what really feels meaningful to you and building self-love. Yet we\u2019re a society of instant gratification.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ll have the patience and make the time to take a class to become better at a skill but not to get through Self 101.<\/p>\n

What would truly make you happy for the long haul? People who come to my classes or who do counseling with me rarely can answer that. Of course many say if they made a lot of money they\u2019d be happy. Yet look at all the people whose lives crumble after winning the lottery! Money doesn\u2019t create inner contentment or self-love, which are keys to happiness. It provides security but you\u2019ll spend and spend, still trying to be happy if you aren\u2019t happy already.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself, \u201cDo I have the patience to be happy?\u201d<\/p>\n

If the answer is yes, sit down and think about what\u2019s really lacking in your life. Most of the time it\u2019s love. Love is a catalyst for happiness. And it starts with loving you! So instead of pursuing outside avenues for happiness, work on loving yourself. That is the key to happiness! Building self-love takes patience. Mine evolved over years and it\u2019s still growing. I can attest that patience is worth it to own yourself and control your true happiness. When you get to the point of loving you for who you are, not what you do or how little you weigh or how much money you make, the world can be yours!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2011 HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. You have the patience to wait on line to buy a ticket to a movie you\u2019re anxious to see or to pay for an item you really want in a store. You have…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,15],"tags":[973,254,27],"class_list":["post-2565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-happiness","tag-patience","tag-self-love"],"yoast_head":"\nDo You Have the Patience to Be Happy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/do-you-have-the-patience-to-be-happy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Have the Patience to Be Happy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2565"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2565\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2612,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2565\/revisions\/2612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}