{"id":2554,"date":"2012-01-26T12:01:09","date_gmt":"2012-01-26T17:01:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2554"},"modified":"2011-12-28T23:40:45","modified_gmt":"2011-12-29T04:40:45","slug":"how%e2%80%99s-your-relationship-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/how%e2%80%99s-your-relationship-with-you.html","title":{"rendered":"How\u2019s Your Relationship with YOU?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/12\/Teri-Johnson.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2555\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/12\/Teri-Johnson-277x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"277\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><em>Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">Self-Love Month<\/a><\/strong> with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><\/em>Today I have <a href=\"http:\/\/terijohnson.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Teri Johnson<\/strong><\/a>, author of Overcoming the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/%20159932251X\/daylledeannaschw\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Nevers by Gardening Your life and Nurturing Seeds of Truth<\/strong><\/a> as my guest. Teri was in a place of hopelessness, where she NEVER thought she&#8217;d be\u2014stuck, and longing for freedom, restoration, and life. Through her journey, Teri discovered that it takes intentional action to restore and recover from this place, and a willingness to overcome. Her book reflects what she learned. Here\u2019s what she has to say:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>My relationship with Me<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>by <a href=\"http:\/\/terijohnson.com\" target=\"_blank\">Teri Johnson<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I love you and I like you.&#8221; Can you look in the mirror and speak these words boldly and honestly to yourself? I know this sounds like a silly question.\u00a0 It might even seem uncomfortable, talking to yourself out loud.<\/p>\n<p>The reality is, we speak to ourselves hundreds of times throughout the day; this is called self-talk.\u00a0 Most often it&#8217;s not verbal, it&#8217;s in our thoughts.\u00a0 What goes on in our heads between our ears can tear us down or build us up.\u00a0 Unfortunately, most often it&#8217;s the latter. <strong>Thoughts such as&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;I&#8217;m not good enough.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n<em>&#8220;Shoot, why did I do that, I&#8217;m so stupid.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n<em>&#8220;I&#8217;m fat.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n<em>&#8220;I&#8217;m a loser, why in the world did I say that.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n<em>&#8220;I&#8217;m a failure, I&#8217;m never going to be successful.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n<em>&#8220;I can&#8217;t do this, I don&#8217;t have what it takes.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8230;are not kind, are not loving, and are not encouraging<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Our negative self-talk, adverse thoughts, keep us stuck.\u00a0 They are lies we tell ourselves which prevent us from becoming who we were created to be.\u00a0 More importantly, they keep us from loving ourselves. The most important relationship we have is the relationship with ourselves. When we love and accept who we are we can embrace love from our Creator and allow others to love us as well. <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/12\/Johnson_OvercomingYourNevers_cover_draft31.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-2556\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/12\/Johnson_OvercomingYourNevers_cover_draft31-202x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"243\" height=\"360\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>When we love and like ourselves we grow and flourish in our own special gifts and talents.\u00a0 We understand that we don&#8217;t need the approval of others to feel okay or acceptable.\u00a0 We are lovable, likable, and good &#8212; just because we are.<\/p>\n<p>Our life experiences and environment play a huge role in our relationship with ourselves.\u00a0 Sadly, many aren&#8217;t equipped with the tools to change negative thinking patterns or their sabotaging self-talk.\u00a0 The result? Discontent, unhealthily relationships with others, depression, unfulfilled dreams, toxic behaviors, etc.<\/p>\n<p>The good news is, there is a solution which results are opposite.\u00a0 They are peace, joy, contentment, life-purpose, self-acceptance, and self-love. How do we overcome the negative to produce positive fruit?\u00a0 <strong>There are 3 foundational pieces we must build upon:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>1.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0You are on a journey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just like any relationship you are establishing it will take time.\u00a0 You are not on a race to \u201cfix\u201d \u2013 you are on an adventure to get to know yourself, your truth.\u00a0 Understand what your gifts are, embrace your talents as well as understand your weaknesses and the areas that need improvement.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Maintain an attitude of willingness:<\/strong> A willingness to see, hear, and understand things clearer or from a different perspective, as you journey is crucial.\u00a0 A willingness to change when prompted and a willingness to be authentic as you discover new truths.\u00a0 Willingness to be stretched and uncomfortable at times.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Be intentional<\/strong>: We cannot take our emotional or spiritual growth lightly, everyday should be lived deliberately.\u00a0 Pursuing a healthy relationship with ourselves, understanding our own needs, and holding tightly our current place looking for opportunity to learn and grow.<\/p>\n<p>This is where we start \u2013 we decide we want a healthy relationship with ourselves, we remember it will take time to establish this relationship, we are willing and open to change, and we are intentionally pursing it.<\/p>\n<p>This new awareness alone will cultivate change; getting us one step closer to loving who we are \u2013 establishing \u201cmy relationship with me\u201d will transform my relationships with others. Powerful happens when we fall in love with who we are \u2013 when we can boldly and honestly tell ourselves, I love you and I like you.<br \/>\n*********************<\/p>\n<p>Check out <a href=\"http:\/\/terijohnson.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Teri Johnson<\/strong><\/a>\u2019s book, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/%20159932251X\/daylledeannaschw\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Overcoming the Nevers by Gardening Your life and Nurturing Seeds of Truth<\/strong><\/a> for more tips.<br \/>\n*********************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>&#8211;a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days&#8211;and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2011 <strong><a href=\"..\/2011\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-posts.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Today I have Teri Johnson, author of Overcoming the Nevers by Gardening Your life and Nurturing Seeds of Truth as my guest. Teri was in a place of hopelessness, where she NEVER thought&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[253,88,27,252],"class_list":["post-2554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-overcoming-the-nevers","tag-self-empowerment","tag-self-love","tag-teri-johnson"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How\u2019s Your Relationship with YOU? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/how\u2019s-your-relationship-with-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How\u2019s Your Relationship with YOU? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Today I have Teri Johnson, author of Overcoming the Nevers by Gardening Your life and Nurturing Seeds of Truth as my guest. Teri was in a place of hopelessness, where she NEVER thought&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/how\u2019s-your-relationship-with-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-26T17:01:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-12-29T04:40:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/12\/Teri-Johnson-277x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How\u2019s Your Relationship with YOU? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/how\u2019s-your-relationship-with-you.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How\u2019s Your Relationship with YOU? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2554"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2554\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2608,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2554\/revisions\/2608"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}