{"id":252,"date":"2008-03-07T22:21:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-07T22:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/guilt-the-law-of-attraction.html"},"modified":"2008-03-07T22:21:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-07T22:21:00","slug":"guilt-the-law-of-attraction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/guilt-the-law-of-attraction.html","title":{"rendered":"Guilt & the Law of Attraction"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
I\u2019ve been writing about guilt and how it hurts our lives. It gives other people power over your life and happiness. Often your choice to assuming guilt is a lose\/lose situation.<\/span> <\/p>\n

You lose if you give in to what the person makes you feel guilty about<\/span>, such as canceling your plans to help them, loaning money you don\u2019t want to (and know you probably won\u2019t get back), giving a referral about someone you don\u2019t really trust, etc. Guilt makes you do things you don\u2019t want to. That makes you unhappy.<\/p>\n

You lose if you don\u2019t give in to what the person wants from you if you let guilt take over<\/span>. That too makes you unhappy.<\/p>\n

The Law of Attraction<\/span> means you get back what you put out. If you put out that you\u2019re accepting a mindset that brings unhappiness, you attract more unhappiness<\/span>, probably in the form of more guilt. Why do that??! It brings nothing good. The people who make you feel guilty aren\u2019t satisfied with one time. Guilt can be an ongoing process<\/span>:<\/p>\n

* Mom may moan about how much she needs you to call and visit her more<\/span>, do things her way, raise your kids according to her standards, dress differently, attend functions you hate and a gazillion other demands on your time, beliefs or desires that you don\u2019t want. It gets worse if she pulls the \u201cwoe is me\u201d card. But it won\u2019t change with you feeling guilt, which tells the Universe you need to be punished, even if you\u2019re not sure why. So you continue to be punished with more guilt, or letting it make you give in to Mom when you don\u2019t want to. <\/p>\n

* Your romantic partner may blame you for his abuse<\/span>, for her not wanting sex, or for all their ills. \u201cIf you didn\u2019t____, I wouldn\u2019t be in such bad shape.\u201d Fear of losing love or companionship or sex makes us assume the guilt they throw. It\u2019s so wrong! That tells the Universe your partner is justified in making you feel at fault, so the guilt, and unhappiness continue to come to you. <\/p>\n

* Your boss thinks you should work all the time\u2014late during the week<\/span> and even on some weekends. If you don\u2019t go along you\u2019re not dedicated to the company. So you feel guilty for wanting to spend more time with your family, or just getting enough sleep. And guilt sets in like a black cloud over your life. When you work longer, anger is generated. If you leave on time, you\u2019re guilty. Lose\/lose. Guilt tells the Universe that you believe you should work more. So they cycle continues\u2014working more than is fair to ask for or feeling guilty during your time off. The Universe supports your belief that you should work more to please your boss by creating more \u201copportunities\u201d to work longer hours.<\/p>\n

* Your friend always counts on you to drop her kids off informal babysitting<\/span> or to fix his car\u2014even though it limits your free time and isn\u2019t reciprocated. If you say no, you\u2019re made out to be a bad friend. She complains you\u2019re screwing up her meeting, since she can\u2019t bring her kids. He digs that you know how to fix cars and he doesn\u2019t so you should help him. Until you squash your guilt by accepting that just because you can do something, you don\u2019t have to\u2014and, people can be hired to baby sit or fix a car or whatever else you\u2019re needed for\u2014the Universe will keep sending you more requests.<\/p>\n

Guilt tells the universe that you\u2019re wrong, so you attract more of that.<\/span> The more that\u2019s requested of you, the more guilt\u2014a vicious guilty cycle that only YOU can break. The ONLY thing that can break that cycle is setting boundaries, which creates a different dynamic! Making your needs important changes the energy you put out and attracts more positive goodies.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t want to do something, don\u2019t, and tell yourself it’s okay! Put out the message that you\u2019re taking care of you.<\/p>\n

If the actions you deem in your best interest get accusations of guilt, affirm that you’re doing nothing wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

We attract what we put out. Walking around with guilt brings more of the stuff that creates guilt. Saying no WITHOUT guilt shows you know that it\u2019s okay to make your own decisions about what\u2019s right and wrong.<\/span> That attracts more acceptance, and folks will get used to the new and improved, guilt-free YOU! The people who continue to hurl guilt bullets should feel guilty about their unfair expectations of what you can give. <\/p>\n

When you own the belief that you\u2019re entitled to decide what\u2019s right for you, even if others disagree, you\u2019ll have the Law of Attraction on your side to support keeping guilt out of your head.<\/span> It lightens up the darkness of your life that guilt creates. <\/p>\n

So let the light of guilt-free shine! The Law of Attraction will shine good stuff back to make you feel even better.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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I\u2019ve been writing about guilt and how it hurts our lives. It gives other people power over your life and happiness. Often your choice to assuming guilt is a lose\/lose situation. 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