{"id":246,"date":"2008-03-31T22:07:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-31T22:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html"},"modified":"2008-03-31T22:07:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-31T22:07:00","slug":"try-try-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html","title":{"rendered":"Try, Try Again!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s1600-h\/*+Embracing+success.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:left;margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer;cursor:hand\" src=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s200\/*+Embracing+success.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, ?try, try again. This saying is said to have been included in a Teacher&#8217;s Manual in the eighteen hundreds. So perseverance is an old concept! In my last post, <span style=\"font-weight:bold\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat.com\/2008\/03\/controlling-fear-of-failure.html\">Controlling Fear of Failure<\/a><\/span>, I talked about how fear of failure keeps us from even trying. From the emails I got, I know this topic resonated with many of you. It\u2019s important to be conscious of how you let fear sabotage your chances of attaining the SUCCESS you say you want.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">You can\u2019t try, try again if you don\u2019t try even once.<\/span> <\/p>\n<p>In my DoorMat days, fear was the overriding factor that guided me. So much of that fear was of the unknown. I didn\u2019t know what might happen if I tried, so I made excuses to postpone taking action. How could I try something new if I didn\u2019t know the outcome? What if failure made me feel worse than I already did? So I lived in a state of wanting to try new things and have new accomplishments. But fear of failing put invisible weights on my resolve. <\/p>\n<p>I was stuck! <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">We often get stuck in pursuit of dreams. But those sticky factors can be dissolved so you can try, and try again!<br \/><\/span><br \/>How? By driving through the fear and making that first try using techniques in my posts. <\/p>\n<p>I was laughed at for years as I projected my dreams out but never pursued them. I taught workshops on the topics I now write about. The blurb about me always said I was the author of the upcoming book, ____. I was writing them but never tried to get published. One day I overheard two women talking about me. One called me a fraud! She said I faked being an author. The other agreed. They discussed how I taught a variety of music business and self-empowerment workshops and probably couldn\u2019t write a book on either topic well. <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">I was a master of nothing to them!<br \/><\/span><br \/>It hurt! I was embarrassed and shamed. They were wrong, but I understood their view. I wasn\u2019t really an upcoming author if I didn\u2019t even try to get published. I was NOT a fraud but I WAS a wannabee writer. So I made a decision to take a chance. I thought for a while to decide which book to pursue first, since I had many in the works! I decided that <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">The Real Deal: How to Get Signed to a Record Label<\/span> had the broadest appeal of my music industry books at the time. There were few music books published so I decided to go with that one. <\/p>\n<p>I learned how to write a book proposal and sent it to some agents. One jumped on it so I went with her. I suggested she go to Billboard but she said she had no contacts there and would go to major publishers. I was still terrified of rejection, which I equated as failure. So when publishers began to turn the book down, my fear of failure raged. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">I questioned my ability and began to expect more rejection. That\u2019s what the Law of Attraction brought me!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t want to fail! But over 15 editors turned my book down. <\/p>\n<p>Failure didn\u2019t feel good so why subject myself to more by encouraging my agent to keep going? I became complacent, accepting my agent\u2019s prediction that the book wouldn\u2019t sell. Meanwhile, I was still selling the homemade reports about the music industry at my workshops and by mail. I resigned that my writing career would be limited to that.<\/p>\n<p>The next week I went to Washington DC to do a series of workshops on music business and self-empowerment. I mailed a box of reports down and sold a bunch. Since I traveled by train, I only had a big backpack and loaded it with what I didn\u2019t sell. As I schlepped through the train station that Friday afternoon with the bulky reports on my back, I had an epiphany.<\/p>\n<p>I wasn\u2019t happy and was tired of living like this! <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">It was time for a real career to manifest, and that meant getting published!<\/span> I knew I was good at both speaking and writing and my books were worthy of being in stores. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">I was finally ready for SUCCESS!<\/span> I know that this was a spiritual kick in the butt as a thought swirled through my head\u2014I WAS a good writer and CHOSE to earn my living from it! <\/p>\n<p>When I got home, fear of failure hit me again so the spiritual kick continued. I began to read through my partially written books and KNEW I had to get book deals for them. The next day I struggled to push away the fear of failure. It\u2019s a tough one to just get past! I read my page-a-day calendar, written by Louise Hay and know with all my heart that the words were sent from a higher place. <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">\u201cI am at that point in my life where I know I deserve all good. I am open to all the gifts the Universe has to offer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>That was on April 26, 1996. The page still hangs by my bed. I looked up and said \u201cthank you!\u201d At that moment, I knew I had the power to do anything I CHOSE, and I CHOSE to get published. I was finally ready. All in. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Prepared to face fear squarely and snuff it out!<\/span> I screamed that affirmation all weekend long! Shouted it in my car. Repeated it over and over in my apartment. Repeated it to myself as I walked all over the city. I was ready for great SUCCESS and nothing was going to stop me!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Once ready, I was super ready, and decided that I\u2019d get three book deals in one year. I was told that was impossible, but, refused to listen.<\/span> <\/p>\n<p>On Monday morning, I got a call from the senior acquisitions editor at Billboard, not about my book, but to inquire about an educational series I put together as a fundraiser for an organization. After I answered his questions, I told him about my book. He got excited, asked to see it ASAP and immediately asked to publish it. It was no coincidence that he called me the morning after my weekend of affirming that I was ready for great SUCCESS. I was ready!<\/p>\n<p>They say that when the student is ready the teacher will come. I also say that w<span style=\"font-weight:bold\">hen you decide to put aside fears and doubts, the elements for SUCCESS will come.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I told everyone, even during talks and on TV, of my intention to get 3 book deals in one year. Naysayers came out of the woodwork but I kept doing my affirmation and told people to call me a year from my first deal. <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">The Real Deal<\/span> was published 8 months after I signed the deal. My Billboard editor immediate signed me to write <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Label<\/span>. I told him that I would also be getting a deal for <span style=\"font-weight:bold\">All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise<\/span>. He had faith in me and didn\u2019t mind. <\/p>\n<p>Exactly a year after getting my first deal, I accepted my third. My blessings, and my SUCCESS, continue to manifest. <\/p>\n<p>Ask yourself, \u201cWhat do I want? To avoid failure or to be SUCCESSFUL?\u201d \u201cHow will avoiding failure help me?\u201d \u201cHow will avoiding failure hurt me?\u201d If you don\u2019t like the answers, try my affirmation and say it till you feel it!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:bold\">\u201cI am at that point in my life where I know I deserve all good. I am open to all the gifts the Universe has to offer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark<br \/>\nand write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" width=\"125\" height=\"16\" border=\"0\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;  <br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, ?try, try again. This saying is said to have been included in a Teacher&#8217;s Manual in the eighteen hundreds. So perseverance is an old concept! In my last post, Controlling Fear of Failure, I talked about how fear of failure keeps us from even trying. From the emails I&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-embracing-success-series"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Try, Try Again! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Try, Try Again! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, ?try, try again. This saying is said to have been included in a Teacher&#8217;s Manual in the eighteen hundreds. So perseverance is an old concept! In my last post, Controlling Fear of Failure, I talked about how fear of failure keeps us from even trying. From the emails I&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-03-31T22:07:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s200\/*+Embracing+success.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Try, Try Again! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Try, Try Again! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, ?try, try again. This saying is said to have been included in a Teacher&#8217;s Manual in the eighteen hundreds. So perseverance is an old concept! In my last post, Controlling Fear of Failure, I talked about how fear of failure keeps us from even trying. From the emails I&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2008-03-31T22:07:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s200\/*+Embracing+success.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html","name":"Try, Try Again! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s200\/*+Embracing+success.jpg","datePublished":"2008-03-31T22:07:00+00:00","dateModified":"2008-03-31T22:07:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s200\/*+Embracing+success.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_GZcIIbcsI\/AAAAAAAAARU\/rYb6K5lyJg0\/s200\/*+Embracing+success.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/03\/try-try-again.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Try, Try Again!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=246"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}