{"id":239,"date":"2008-04-10T22:12:00","date_gmt":"2008-04-10T22:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html"},"modified":"2008-04-10T22:12:00","modified_gmt":"2008-04-10T22:12:00","slug":"choose-your-perception","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html","title":{"rendered":"CHOOSE Your Perception"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>
<\/a>
Life isn\u2019t in black and white. You choose how to color what you see and do. Your life is as colorful as YOU allow it to be. Just like a child brings a coloring book page to life with crayons, your thoughts color your world.<\/span> I\u2019ve talked about how we can create new habits to replace those that aren\u2019t serving you in a positive way. You can break habits of letting other people program how you view your life and then create a habit of having a more positive perception. <\/p>\n

You can create the good habit of coloring your world with bright hues!<\/span><\/p>\n

Did you ever adjust the color of a TV set? You turn the dial one way and the colors get brighter and more vibrant. Go the other direction and it gets washed out or not there. That\u2019s what perception does to you thoughts! YOU control the dials. Perception allows you to choose your reality; to color it positive or negative. For example:<\/p>\n

* You can CHOOSE to see a glass half empty or CHOOSE to see it half full.<\/span> Which sounds better? You know the answer, yet many people choose half empty, which makes it sound bad. My half full glass always looks good! The glass has no more or less based on the perception you choose. So why not choose half full???<\/p>\n

* You can CHOOSE to believe that you\u2019re not good for much because you had a parent who told you that.<\/span> Or, you can bypass that belief and CHOOSE to do a lot of good! You are the person that your perception allows you to be. Why not be one who SUCCEEDS???<\/p>\n

* You can CHOOSE to feel fat because the media says that anyone with more meat than an airbrushed model is fat.<\/span> Or you can CHOOSE to not compare yourself to anyone and see the beauty of who you are. I felt like a porker for years because not being perfectly thin made my self-perception one of being fat. Now I view me in my own eyes and I\u2019ve gotten a beautiful, soft shapely body without losing weight!<\/p>\n

* You can CHOOSE to believe that abuse you get from a romantic partner is your fault because you\u2019re not perfect<\/span>, or you did something that you don\u2019t understand but he or she says you did. Or, you can CHOOSE to accept that some people have issues that have nothing to do with you, and you should NOT stay with someone who hurts you over and over, since no one can be perfect. And leave fast!<\/p>\n

Whose perception rules you?<\/span> Mom\u2019s? The media\u2019s? Your romantic partner\u2019s? When I was a DoorMat I gave way too much importance to what others thought and not enough\u2014or nothing\u2014to my own view. Ha! I rarely had a view of my own since I was too busy agreeing with everyone else’s. It made me think I was more secure, but that was also a perception. Deep down I knew my security was only as good as my butt kissing. That in itself felt lousy! But I was too scared of losing the people who controlled my perception to change. Now my vision is clear and my security is solid, because I get it from ME, not my erroneous perception of others being there for me.<\/p>\n

Create your own perception! How you see yourself and project it commands respect or footprints. Be careful about how you blow up situations that reinforce low self-esteem. Watch for your own distorted perceptions. <\/p>\n

\u2022 That extra five pounds makes you fat.
\u2022 The five-minute incident ruins your day.
\u2022 One mistake makes you a screw-up.
\u2022 One boyfriend who hurt you makes you a poor judge of men.
\u2022 One girlfriend who took advantage of you makes you a pushover.
\u2022 You don\u2019t know something so you\u2019re stupid in general.<\/p>\n

Enough already! Don\u2019t be your own worst enemy. You can CHOOSE to control this. Don\u2019t blow flaws or problems out of proportion. I remember the pain of seeing only what I hated in the mirror. I never saw my pretty face. For years I was fat and ugly, yet, I was far from that. But a few extra pounds drastically altered my perception. Now, even with some flab, I\u2019m a very pretty, hot chick! Perception is YOUR choice. Do you distort yours as excuses to not risk moves to stand up for you?<\/p>\n

* \u201cI\u2019ve never gotten respect. I\u2019m no good!\u201d<\/span> The past is history. Now is what counts. It doesn\u2019t matter how some people treated you before. You know better now and can show with actions that you expect decent treatment. <\/p>\n

* \u201cI can never finish anything. I\u2019ll never get anywhere.\u201d<\/span> Just because you haven\u2019t finished things before, you\u2019re not hopeless. Take baby steps to complete a project and prove that never finishing isn\u2019t your M.O. anymore!<\/p>\n

* \u201cI\u2019m not a cook so I\u2019ll make a lousy meal.\u201d<\/span> You\u2019re not what you haven\u2019t done. You can follow directions, can\u2019t you? One step a time. Someone once told me I made awful coffee. It was one time but I believed I was incapable of make something worth drinking. When my friend pushed me to try again with her watching, I did it all by myself, and everyone enjoyed it! <\/p>\n

* \u201cI should be further along in my career so I\u2019m a loser.\u201d<\/span> Says who? Individuals work on different timelines. Not advancing enough doesn\u2019t make you a loser unless you choose to be. Learn more skills to be a mover, not loser! Appreciate what you have done instead of dwelling on what you haven’t. <\/p>\n

* \u201cPeople don\u2019t like me.\u201d<\/span> Paranoia will destroy ya. Do you expect rejection and emit an air of self-protection? Act friendly and expect friendliness. You truly do get back what you give out.<\/p>\n

Pay attention to what beliefs you have that nurture a negative perception. Look for ways to reinforce a more positive one. That leads to SUCCESS. Just because you\u2019ve believed something for a long time, doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s true or that you must continue living up, or down, to that perception. Remind yourself that your perception is YOUR choice, so make it yourself! Then focus on coloring your world a brighter shade of happiness! This recovering DoorMat can attest that it feels like the biggest high you can get!<\/p>\n

Pay attention to how you see situations and consciously choose to be fair to you. Have a very blessed weekend, full of colorful, positive perceptions. <\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!

\"AddThis<\/a> var addthis_pub = ‘wryter’; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Life isn\u2019t in black and white. You choose how to color what you see and do. Your life is as colorful as YOU allow it to be. Just like a child brings a coloring book page to life with crayons, your thoughts color your world. I\u2019ve talked about how we can create new habits to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"\nCHOOSE Your Perception - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"CHOOSE Your Perception - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Life isn\u2019t in black and white. You choose how to color what you see and do. Your life is as colorful as YOU allow it to be. Just like a child brings a coloring book page to life with crayons, your thoughts color your world. I\u2019ve talked about how we can create new habits to…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-04-10T22:12:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_7M2VSjzJI\/AAAAAAAAASs\/gPx_kocDxDE\/s200\/eye+close+up.JPG\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"CHOOSE Your Perception - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"CHOOSE Your Perception - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Life isn\u2019t in black and white. You choose how to color what you see and do. Your life is as colorful as YOU allow it to be. Just like a child brings a coloring book page to life with crayons, your thoughts color your world. I\u2019ve talked about how we can create new habits to…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2008-04-10T22:12:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_7M2VSjzJI\/AAAAAAAAASs\/gPx_kocDxDE\/s200\/eye+close+up.JPG"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html","name":"CHOOSE Your Perception - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_7M2VSjzJI\/AAAAAAAAASs\/gPx_kocDxDE\/s200\/eye+close+up.JPG","datePublished":"2008-04-10T22:12:00+00:00","dateModified":"2008-04-10T22:12:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_7M2VSjzJI\/AAAAAAAAASs\/gPx_kocDxDE\/s200\/eye+close+up.JPG","contentUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/R_7M2VSjzJI\/AAAAAAAAASs\/gPx_kocDxDE\/s200\/eye+close+up.JPG"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/04\/choose-your-perception.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"CHOOSE Your Perception"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=239"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}