{"id":2342,"date":"2012-01-19T12:01:58","date_gmt":"2012-01-19T17:01:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2342"},"modified":"2012-01-07T13:34:31","modified_gmt":"2012-01-07T18:34:31","slug":"try-some-self-compassion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/try-some-self-compassion.html","title":{"rendered":"Try Some Self-Compassion"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/em>Today is Day 19 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month<\/a><\/strong> with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>I\u2019m happy to have <\/strong>Jean Fain<\/a><\/strong>, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W., a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and author of The Self-Compassion Diet: A Step-by-Step Program to Lose Weight with Loving-Kindness<\/a><\/strong> back as my guest. Today she shares how to give yourself more compassion, which a lovely gift of self-love. Here\u2019s what she has to say:<\/p>\n

Take A Compassionate Minute<\/strong>
\nBy Jean Fain<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

The practice of self-compassion \u2013 treating yourself like a good friend or loved one \u2013 may be centuries-old news, but suddenly it\u2019s new again. For the last year, not only has self-compassion been making headline news, including the #1 most emailed NY Times article last winter, it\u2019s the topic of an increasing number of popular books.<\/p>\n

When you think about it, it\u2019s not hard to understand why Americans are gobbling up info on how to go easy on yourself. A steady dose of self-compassion has been proven to work like antidepressants without the negative side effects. It decreases depression and anxiety, improves concentration and perspective.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s more, self-compassion is not only safer than any diet pill or appetite suppressant, it\u2019s proving effective in treating eating problems.\u00a0 In a persuasive, oft-cited study, dieting college co-eds who fell off the \u201cdiet\u201d wagon, but still thought kindly of themselves didn\u2019t indulge in emotional eating. In contrast, dieters with their characteristic critical mindset reflexively overindulged despite their best intentions.<\/p>\n

But how do you stop beating yourself up and start going easier on yourself? Got a minute? Here\u2019s a quick and easy compassion-enhancing practice for right now or the next time you catch yourself in the throes of self-criticism.
\nIf you\u2019re walking down the street, feeling self-critical \u2013 maybe you caught a less-than-flattering glimpse of yourself in a store window or bumped into someone who\u2019d last seen you when you were looking better, or maybe divorce has thrown you back into the dating scene \u2013 rather than give yourself a hard time, try a little tenderness in the form of a walking meditation. It\u2019ll give you the calm and confidence you need to make your way toward greater health and well being. Here\u2019s how:<\/p>\n

As you continue walking, breathe deeply, and silently repeat the traditional phrases of loving-kindness meditation:
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May I be safe
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May I be healthy
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May I be happy
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May I live in ease<\/p>\n

If you come across others who could use some compassion \u2013 a homeless person, an elderly neighbor, a new mother and her baby \u2013 mentally send some their way:
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May you be safe
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May you be healthy
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May you be happy
\no\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0May you live in ease<\/p>\n

When it makes sense, return to the \u201cI\u201d phrases (May I be safe\u2026.) and notice the difference self-compassion makes. Even one compassionate minute has the power to lighten your mood, brighten your outlook, and enhance your ability to make healthier choices. Why put off feeling better tomorrow when you can take a compassionate minute today?
\n*****************************<\/p>\n

Check out Jean Fain<\/a><\/strong>\u2019s book, The Self-Compassion Diet: A Step-by-Step Program to Lose Weight with Loving-Kindness<\/a>.
\n*****************************<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a>–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2011 HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Day 19 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I\u2019m happy to have Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W., a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and author of The Self-Compassion Diet: A Step-by-Step Program to Lose Weight with Loving-Kindness back as…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15],"tags":[212,213],"class_list":["post-2342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-jean-fain","tag-self-compassion"],"yoast_head":"\nTry Some Self-Compassion - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2012\/01\/try-some-self-compassion.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Try Some Self-Compassion - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today is Day 19 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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