{"id":2074,"date":"2011-12-22T12:01:58","date_gmt":"2011-12-22T17:01:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=2074"},"modified":"2011-12-04T21:37:32","modified_gmt":"2011-12-05T02:37:32","slug":"giving-and-taking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html","title":{"rendered":"Giving and Taking"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/08\/joe-scott.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2075\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/08\/joe-scott-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a><strong>Joe Scott<\/strong>, and entrepreneur who started with a truck and a tool box to become a successful contractor and real estate developer. He believes that life would be a lot easier if people recognized there are really only three kinds of people in the world. He\u2019s a contractor and real estate developer who has negotiated thousands of business deals involving corporate executives, homeowners, bankers, laborers and union officials. He has hired, and been hired by, people from all walks of life. It is from that experience that he draws his experience for his ideas in his book, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/0983345600\/daylledeannaschw%E2%80%A8\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>The Joe Dial<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>Are You a Giver or a Taker?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>by Joe Scott<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s been my experience in life and in business that people come in only three basic varieties. There are givers, takers and those who fall in the middle with qualities of both. These people represent different mixtures of positive and negative energies, and understanding how those energies work \u2013 both with others and within ourselves \u2013 can make our lives at work and at home a lot easier.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve placed all the qualities that make up those energies into a simple, readable graphic tool \u2013 what I call The Joe Dial. It measures them and gives us a starting place to adjust our own lives accordingly. My definitions of the three kinds of people are reasonably detailed, but a simple overview of them includes:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Givers:<\/strong> These people are typically honest and sincere and have a driving concern for \u00a0the world and everyone in it. Givers feel a responsibility to treat everyone \u00a0with dignity and respect. They see it as their duty to leave the world in \u00a0better shape than they found it. The danger for people who are primarily \u00a0givers is that they tend to be easily taken advantage of by takers. The pure \u00a0giver often fails to assess a situation to ensure their best interests are \u00a0being protected. They don\u2019t truly understand the taking mentality and do not \u00a0realize there is a whole class of people out there eager to take everything \u00a0givers are willing to give, and then some.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Takers<\/strong>: Keep in mind that taking in and of itself is not a bad thing. We must all \u00a0have a bit of taker in all of us if only to afford others the opportunity to \u00a0be givers. Moreover, takers are not necessarily bad people. They\u2019ve simply \u00a0been raised to be takers by having been given too much as they were growing \u00a0up. For instance, a fourth generation welfare recipient has been given no \u00a0other model but taking. Pure takers entire orientation in life is one of \u00a0receiving, of trying to maximize the gain in every situation. A true taker \u00a0operates out of a position of fear, always assuming there won\u2019t be enough to \u00a0go around, always strategizing so he gets his share and more.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/08\/The-Joe-Dial.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-2076\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/08\/The-Joe-Dial.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"185\" height=\"253\" \/><\/a><strong>Taker-Givers or T&amp;Gs<\/strong> \u2013 These folks strike a balance between taking and \u00a0giving, and generally have a developed set of instincts about when to give and \u00a0when to take. As a rule, they don\u2019t want to take advantage of anyone, nor do \u00a0they want to be taken advantage of by takers. Courtesy is both extended and \u00a0expected in return. Some key characteristics include:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0They let you pay for lunch one day but insist on \u00a0paying the next time.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0They are able to both lend help as well as ask \u00a0for help.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0They listen and talk in roughly the same \u00a0measure.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0They carry their weight on a team, but don\u2019t \u00a0allow themselves to be used.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0They\u2019re not excessive with either lending or \u00a0borrowing.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0They clean up their own messes.<br \/>\nIn my estimation, about 70 percent of us fall into that T&amp;G category to some extent or another, with the other 30 percent split evenly between givers and takers,\u201d Scott added. \u201cBy recognizing these elements and trying to practice the principles of giving and taking in equal measure, you can revolutionize your own workspace no matter what position you may have. The positivity will ripple outward, changing not only yourself, but the people around you.<br \/>\n******************<\/p>\n<p>Check out <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/0983345600\/daylledeannaschw%E2%80%A8\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>The Joe Dial.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/a>*********************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Challenge<\/strong><\/a> &#8211;a pledge to start your year by doing something kind for yourself for the first 31 days of January&#8211;and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><a href=\"..\/2011\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-posts.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Joe Scott, and entrepreneur who started with a truck and a tool box to become a successful contractor and real estate developer. He believes that life would be a lot easier if people recognized there are really only three kinds of people in the world. He\u2019s a contractor and real estate developer who has negotiated&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[156,157],"class_list":["post-2074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","tag-joe-scott","tag-the-joe-dial"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Giving and Taking - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Giving and Taking - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Joe Scott, and entrepreneur who started with a truck and a tool box to become a successful contractor and real estate developer. He believes that life would be a lot easier if people recognized there are really only three kinds of people in the world. He\u2019s a contractor and real estate developer who has negotiated&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-12-22T17:01:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-12-05T02:37:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/08\/joe-scott-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Giving and Taking - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Giving and Taking - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Joe Scott, and entrepreneur who started with a truck and a tool box to become a successful contractor and real estate developer. He believes that life would be a lot easier if people recognized there are really only three kinds of people in the world. He\u2019s a contractor and real estate developer who has negotiated&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2011-12-22T17:01:58+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-12-05T02:37:32+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/08\/joe-scott-300x225.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html","name":"Giving and Taking - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/08\/joe-scott-300x225.jpg","datePublished":"2011-12-22T17:01:58+00:00","dateModified":"2011-12-05T02:37:32+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/08\/joe-scott-300x225.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/08\/joe-scott-300x225.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/12\/giving-and-taking.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Giving and Taking"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2074","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2074"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2074\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2422,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2074\/revisions\/2422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2074"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2074"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2074"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}