{"id":201,"date":"2008-08-01T16:21:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-01T16:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/08\/is-dating-men-for-their-money-prostitution.html"},"modified":"2008-08-01T16:21:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-01T16:21:00","slug":"is-dating-men-for-their-money-prostitution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/08\/is-dating-men-for-their-money-prostitution.html","title":{"rendered":"Is Dating Men for their Money Prostitution?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
I caught a segment of the Morning show with Mike and Juliet<\/a> today on women who only date men with a LOT of money and the men who are fine with it. They actually referred to the Sugar Daddies Club<\/a>, where sugar daddies\u2014wealthy men\u2014can hook up with sugar babes\u2014women who want a sugar daddy to take care of them.<\/p>\n

What a sad commentary on some of these women! A prostitute has sex for money. These women have sex for the money these guys spend on them. <\/span>Hmmmm\u2026<\/p>\n

In NYC where I live, a majority of women I talk to say they wouldn\u2019t date a guy who isn\u2019t making at least a certain level of income. It\u2019s usually pretty high. They say they\u2019re used to a high standard of living and want a man who can maintain that for them. They\u2019ll blow off terrific guys if they don\u2019t make enough money for their taste.<\/p>\n

What happened to love and passion and all the delicious stuff that money can\u2019t buy??! <\/span>And these same women later complain that men are jerks. Hello!<\/p>\n

Women say they want to be treated equally. We bitch about double standards. We whine about not having equal opportunities. We fight for equitable salaries. Some of us say we don\u2019t need help and rebel if a guy holds a door. Yet some women will ditch a guy who doesn\u2019t buy dinner and spend what they consider enough. <\/span>Women in my workshops indignantly say they expect a guy to pay for everything, otherwise he gets nothing from her.<\/p>\n

I asked what that makes them besides hypocrites. What does that say? That we want equal rights when it suits us? <\/span>That men can\u2019t use double standards but we can? We\u2019re used to men treating us. It makes us feel special and we don\u2019t want to lose that. Many men aren\u2019t comfortable having us pay either. Few men I date let me kick in for the check. But women who don\u2019t at least offer send mixed signals.<\/p>\n

Women with a more equitable attitude about dating agree with me. Those who want to be taken out, receive gifts, get wined and dined, and be treated for everything scoff at my words.<\/span><\/p>\n

Many men have expressed anger at women who seem almost mercenary. I agree. Our actions may say we\u2019ll take equality when it\u2019s in our favor. Many women are accustomed to an expensive lifestyle and want a guy to accommodate them. Men say they feel like they need to bring a resume on a first date, to pass the tests women put them through.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was horrified when Maggie described a dating experience at her summer-share. She met Joseph in the Hamptons. The main social activity was going to parties in people\u2019s homes or at clubs. She and Joseph spent every weekend together immersed in the party scene. She was very attracted to him. They\u2019d kiss and flirt when he took her home. After six weeks, he initiated sex. I almost burst out laughing when she said she was furious about his advances. Maggie told Joseph how dare he expect her to sleep with him when he hadn\u2019t bought her dinner yet!<\/p>\n

I asked her if she was a prostitute, since she\u2019d sleep with a guy if he bought dinner.<\/span> Plus, she was a cheap one if she\u2019d do it for a dinner!<\/p>\n

She was clueless in her anger about my question. I told her to think about it. The big factor that determined whether or not they had sex wasn\u2019t attraction, desire, passion or just liking him enough to want to jump into the sack with him. No, she wouldn\u2019t sleep with him because he hadn\u2019t bought her dinner yet. He\u2019d provided transportation to all sorts of parties and the beach for 6 weeks. She liked him enough to spend all her time with him. But just because he hadn\u2019t had the opportunity to take her out for dinner (they served it at the parties), she wouldn\u2019t sleep with him.<\/p>\n

SHALLOW!<\/span><\/p>\n

These kind of women need to ask themselves what\u2019s more important? Having money or being happy. <\/span>Of course you can be happy with money. But making money the most important factor often makes you go to someone for reasons that won\u2019t ultimately make you the real kind of inner happy. You may soothe yourself with possessions. But happiness in a relationship comes from having a good relationship with him, not his wallet.<\/span><\/p>\n

But then there are the unabashed sugar daddies\u2014men who\u2019ll use their money to get young, attractive chicks. <\/span>Yeach!<\/p>\n

The women interviewed on TV who went after the Sugar Daddies were attractive and flip about wanting a man to take care of her in style. I believe the minimum income was a half million. And the men, rich and not bad looking didn\u2019t care that that\u2019s why they got these women. SHALLOW!<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve met men who made a point of letting me know they had a large bank account, as if I\u2019d like them more because of it. I want a good man, not fat wallet! Money does NOT bring happiness if it isn\u2019t there without it. <\/span>I feel sorry for people who think they must have lots of money to enjoy their lives. The best things I can think of to do with I guy I really like don’t cost much at all! ?

<\/span> If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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I caught a segment of the Morning show with Mike and Juliet today on women who only date men with a LOT of money and the men who are fine with it. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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