{"id":177,"date":"2008-11-08T18:01:00","date_gmt":"2008-11-08T18:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html"},"modified":"2008-11-08T18:01:00","modified_gmt":"2008-11-08T18:01:00","slug":"youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html","title":{"rendered":"You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s1600-h\/russia24.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 200px;height: 150px\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s200\/russia24.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>Okay, I\u2019m being somewhat facetious about the title of this post. But there&#8217;s some truth in it! For most of my life I\u2019ve hated walking down the streets of NYC and having to endure whistles and loud comments about me or my body. Construction workers, delivery guys on bikes, and occasionally some other guy had to yell something about a body part or two, or make a general \u201chey baby, looking good.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I admit to having a curvy body. In proportion. Some call it an hourglass figure. I\u2019ve always gotten some attention when I walk down the street. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Usually I hate it. \u201cI want to get into your pants\u201d has especially gotten my blood boiling. Being a walk-a-holic, I found comments and whistles distracting to my pleasure in hoofing it around NYC\u2014an intrusion; a distraction from my exercise flow. I power walk and get into a rhythm that gets broken by these annoying men. So I got in the habit of walking with blinders on\u2014looking straight ahead and ignoring any side affects.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I still see myself as hot and sexy yet getting older, especially in a city like NY, can make even a confident girl question if others still think she\u2019s got it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I recently had a birthday. While I feel great about me, it is a fact that as women age, they\u2019re not considered as appealing as younger ones. I do still feel VERY appealing. Being confident, happy and whole makes me feel like I\u2019m the best I\u2019ve ever been. I run 3 or 4 times a week in Central Park and work out with weights with a personal trainer. I didn\u2019t do either until 5 years ago. But, messages about older women losing their hotness can make a girl wonder if other people appreciate the attractive and sexy woman I know I am.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve loosened my blinders as I walk down the street. Right after my birthday I sped past a group of <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">guys in hard hats and heard the familiar catcalls I used to block out<\/span>:<\/p>\n<p>   * \u201cOh baby!\u201d<br \/>   * \u201cNice!\u201d<br \/>   * \u201cShake it honey.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">And I smiled after I was out of their vision. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Since then, my blinders came off more. I noticed appreciative looks from men I pass. Even guys in cars at a light give me the up and down once-over and smile or comment. While I still don\u2019t like men yelling to me on the street, my initial \u201cGrrrr\u2026\u201d reaction to it has changed somewhat. I\u2019ve noticed that lately I also smile when guys look me over with a smile. I&#8217;m more amused than annoyed about it these days. Hmmm.. am I going soft. NO!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">It feels almost like a validation of my belief that people are SOOOOOO WRONG about women losing their appeal as they get older!  <\/span><\/p>\n<p>I do know I\u2019ve still got it. Yet I also remember what I\u2019ve heard said about older women and smile, because each whistle and catcall is an unbiased affirmation that people are wrong. I don\u2019t consider myself a cougar. I&#8217;m just me! It feels good to have the kind of confidence I do, since so many women, even many younger than me, think they\u2019re getting used up when they approach or reach 40.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">These construction workers and other men on the street affirm that a woman who takes care of herself feels and looks good, and gets whistled at. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Age doesn\u2019t determine when you\u2019re over the hill. YOU determine that. I\u2019m still the same woman I was at a younger age. Actually, I\u2019m better, because my confidence is much stronger and I do more to keep my body healthy and fit. I was attractive when I was a DoorMat, but didn\u2019t appreciate it then. I was also thinner. Yet I didn\u2019t put much time into keeping myself looking as good as possible. Why bother? Back then, I saw myself unworthy of nice clothing or good skin care products.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Now I love looking my best because I love me! And as other women stress about getting older, I revel in getting better. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s fun to get the admiration I know I deserve, even as my age continues to increase. I won\u2019t deny my body is changing and while I don\u2019t look my age, I don\u2019t look 20 anymore. But, that doesn\u2019t take away from who I am today. A friend pointed out that the main reason I get attention when I walk down the street is because I walk straight, shoulders back, head held high and exude confidence.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Confidence transcends age. It\u2019s attractive no matter how young or old you are!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>We can rock at all ages! While men on the street will continue to annoy me with their unasked for attention, I\u2019ll probably hang a smile in my annoyance. But unlike some women who feel like they\u2019re losing it as they age and thinking, \u201cWow, I must be lucky that anyone whistles anymore,\u201d I think, \u201cDamn, I\u2019m still good and it\u2019s nice that others appreciate that too!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So don\u2019t place yourself over the hill. Stay on the bright side of it. You&#8217;re still the same person you&#8217;ve been, even if the packaging is wearing out a little. <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Embrace who you are and do your best to be your best at the age you are now. Then wear the confidence it brings and see how much more attractive you get! <\/span>?<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Okay, I\u2019m being somewhat facetious about the title of this post. But there&#8217;s some truth in it! For most of my life I\u2019ve hated walking down the streets of NYC and having to endure whistles and loud comments about me or my body. Construction workers, delivery guys on bikes, and occasionally some other guy had&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-happiness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Okay, I\u2019m being somewhat facetious about the title of this post. But there&#8217;s some truth in it! For most of my life I\u2019ve hated walking down the streets of NYC and having to endure whistles and loud comments about me or my body. Construction workers, delivery guys on bikes, and occasionally some other guy had&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-11-08T18:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s200\/russia24.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Okay, I\u2019m being somewhat facetious about the title of this post. But there&#8217;s some truth in it! For most of my life I\u2019ve hated walking down the streets of NYC and having to endure whistles and loud comments about me or my body. Construction workers, delivery guys on bikes, and occasionally some other guy had&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2008-11-08T18:01:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s200\/russia24.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html","name":"You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s200\/russia24.jpg","datePublished":"2008-11-08T18:01:00+00:00","dateModified":"2008-11-08T18:01:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s200\/russia24.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SRYgYhXuZ0I\/AAAAAAAAAd8\/0CDMpY-e-jM\/s200\/russia24.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2008\/11\/youre-getting-older-if-you-smile-when-construction-workers-whistle.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"You\u2019re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=177"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}