{"id":1722,"date":"2011-10-17T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-17T16:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1722"},"modified":"2011-08-28T20:39:38","modified_gmt":"2011-08-29T00:39:38","slug":"question-how-can-i-stop-having-to-work-extra-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/10\/question-how-can-i-stop-having-to-work-extra-days.html","title":{"rendered":"Question: How Can I Stop Having To Work Extra Days?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>Helena wrote that her boss knows she works faster than the other people in her department and lately has been putting her on the spot to work overtime after work, and on weekends. While she does get paid for the extra hours, she wants her free time to enjoy herself and relax. Helena is single, which is another factor for why she always gets asked. Co-workers with families act like they\u2019re more entitled to their time away from work. Helena doesn\u2019t want to alienate her boss but he\u2019s been asking her to come in almost every weekend and she’s fed up.<\/p>\n

Work requests can be hard to avoid if everyone else pitches in. But even when you\u2019re singled out for more like Helena is, it can still be hard to say \u201cno\u201d without creating bad feelings\u2014hard but not impossible, if you nicely break people\u2019s habits of always turning to you to pick up slack on the job. Helena knew her colleagues wasted a lot of time on the Internet for personal business. Once actually had his own business on the side and managed it instead of doing his work. So she was angry for many reasons.<\/p>\n

I advised her not to bring that part up. But she did need to set some boundaries, which meant breaking her boss\u2019 habit of always turning to her to get the work done after work hours. Sometimes a little white lie can help facilitate this. I advised Helena to say she\u2019d be away the next weekend she was asked to work. Her boss accepted that and asked someone else to come in. She agreed to work the next weekend but when asked to stay late said her mom was having renovations done and needed her help after work. That excuse served her well many times after that.<\/p>\n

Helena still did overtime occasionally, which was fine with her, but it stopped being a regular thing. Her boss never got angry as her excuses sounded reasonable and he eventually got used to having other people help out. She was able to keep her good relationship with the boss and set boundaries that felt good to her. Her co-workers actually were more productive when they came in on their own since the boss could see everything they did. So it all worked out okay.<\/p>\n

There are some jobs where it seems people almost live at the office. It\u2019s hard to keep normal hours if you work in one. Leaving at 5 PM when you know people stay past 9 can get you a lot of bad vibes, or worse. You don\u2019t look like a team player. In a situation like that, you have 3 choices: continue to work late and stew over it; look for another job with normal hours; or try to find a compromise. Karla came to me for counseling. She was sometimes staying till 9PM, with no extra pay, which was especially tough since her commute was almost 2 hours. She arrived home ragged, barely saw her husband and spent weekends recovering.<\/p>\n

I told her to speak with her boss and explain the situation. He was tough but a decent guy. She explained that she loved her job and didn\u2019t want to quit but couldn\u2019t go on working so late. Her boss didn\u2019t like it but understood. He said she could leave earlier, knowing it meant less chance for advancement and possibly smaller bonuses. Karla gratefully accepted those terms. She still stayed late for important things but not as a regular habit. She was so much happier after that talk.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re put on the spot at work to do something you don\u2019t feel is fair, find ways to speak up. Make up rational excuses if you must at first to break habits of turning to you with things that go above and beyond what your job description is or to work longer hours than you can handle. Love yourself enough to do what\u2019s necessary! And if nothing helps, start sending out resumes.
\n*********************<\/p>\n

Take the self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Helena wrote that her boss knows she works faster than the other people in her department and lately has been putting her on the spot to work overtime after work, and on weekends. While she does get paid for the extra hours, she wants her free time to enjoy herself and relax. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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