{"id":1695,"date":"2011-08-05T12:01:38","date_gmt":"2011-08-05T16:01:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1695"},"modified":"2011-06-22T13:07:40","modified_gmt":"2011-06-22T17:07:40","slug":"make-your-smile-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html","title":{"rendered":"Make Your Smile Happy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Do you assume that smiling means you\u2019re happy? Think again! Often a smile is covering up unhappiness. Many people pleasers are brought up told they should smile as much as possible since it makes you seem more agreeable. I was one of them. Growing up I was known for my smile, though I was more happy than not. But as an adult in DoorMatville, the smile was more a habit than something created by emotion.<\/p>\n

Often people envy those who always have a smile, assuming they live a charmed life since they seem perpetually happy. But that can easily be faked to hide misery.<\/p>\n

When I was a DoorMat I smiled a lot to please people. I knew they liked me more when I smiled. But, I was very unhappy. I actually felt obligated to smile and pushed my problems deep down to keep the smile on my face. I encounter many people who have sadness behind their smile. While I encourage forcing a smile since it can trigger the production of serotonin, feeling obligated to smile isn\u2019t the way to go<\/strong>. It often prevents working on issues that could allow a real smile to come.<\/p>\n

When you begin to show yourself love, you\u2019ll have more real reasons to smile!<\/p>\n

Instead of forcing a smile, consider what would stimulate a real one.<\/strong> What makes you happy? How can you give it to yourself? Leaving DoorMatville made it easier to smile. When I dumped a guy who I knew was unhealthy for me, but who I LIKED A LOT, I smiled because I felt empowered. I deserved better than the way he treated me and refused to settle any more. Big smiles! When I moved into my apartment, which I love so much, it allowed me to smile often. I decided I deserved to live somewhere nice and loved me enough to make it happen.<\/p>\n

Find your smile triggers and activate them by doing things for you! Say, \u201cI love me\u201d with loving gestures.<\/p>\n

Every bit of self-love you give yourself will make your smile bigger. It took years to accept that I want to smile because something is making me happy and I have the power to make myself happy. Self-love motivates me to do things that make me happy! As I write this on a gorgeous day, I\u2019m sitting in a nearby park, surrounded by trees and flowers. That makes me happy and doesn\u2019t cost a dime! Look for ways to make yourself smile! It\u2019s a great way to feel good and say, \u201cI love me!\u201d Say “I love me!” as much as you can to keep yourself smiling for real!<\/strong>
\n*********************<\/p>\n

Take the self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you assume that smiling means you\u2019re happy? Think again! Often a smile is covering up unhappiness. Many people pleasers are brought up told they should smile as much as possible since it makes you seem more agreeable. I was one of them. Growing up I was known for my smile, though I was more…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,15],"tags":[973],"class_list":["post-1695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-happiness"],"yoast_head":"\nMake Your Smile Happy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Make Your Smile Happy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you assume that smiling means you\u2019re happy? Think again! Often a smile is covering up unhappiness. Many people pleasers are brought up told they should smile as much as possible since it makes you seem more agreeable. I was one of them. Growing up I was known for my smile, though I was more…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-08-05T16:01:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-06-22T17:07:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Make Your Smile Happy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Make Your Smile Happy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Do you assume that smiling means you\u2019re happy? Think again! Often a smile is covering up unhappiness. Many people pleasers are brought up told they should smile as much as possible since it makes you seem more agreeable. I was one of them. Growing up I was known for my smile, though I was more…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2011-08-05T16:01:38+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-06-22T17:07:40+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html","name":"Make Your Smile Happy - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg","datePublished":"2011-08-05T16:01:38+00:00","dateModified":"2011-06-22T17:07:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/06\/smile-300x224.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/08\/make-your-smile-happy.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Make Your Smile Happy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1695","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1695"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1695\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1763,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1695\/revisions\/1763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1695"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1695"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1695"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}