{"id":1657,"date":"2011-05-27T12:01:15","date_gmt":"2011-05-27T16:01:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1657"},"modified":"2011-05-27T14:11:50","modified_gmt":"2011-05-27T18:11:50","slug":"listen-to-oprah-be-happier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html","title":{"rendered":"Listen to Oprah &amp; Be Happier!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Oprah Winfrey\u2019s last show aired this week. It feels like forever that Oprah has been teaching us wonderful lessons about how to live our lives fully, and paths to develop real happiness. I was honored to do a whole hour on her show about how to be a nice person who can finish first, the topic of my book, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.daylle.com\/nicegirls.html%5C\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Nice Girls Can Finish First<\/strong><\/a>. Being in Oprah\u2019s presence is hard to describe. Walking into the studio, the energy was off the charts. At one point she sat on a step next to my chair, talking like girlfriend to girlfriend, about the importance of adults being the kind of role model their kids will benefit from.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s hard for kids to learn to say \u201cno\u201d or not grow into a DoorMat if you\u2019re a DoorMat who can\u2019t say \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>One thing that stood out for me on her final show was when she said, <strong>&#8220;There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness.\u201d<\/strong> I\u2019ve said many times that the Law of Attraction works best when you <strong>KNOW<\/strong>. Thinking you deserve to be happy doesn\u2019t mean you believe it. KNOWING shows you intend to be happy. When I ask people, \u201cDo you deserve to be happy,\u201d I often get a version of, \u201cI think I do.\u201d That\u2019s not a positive answer! It&#8217;s more what people think they should say.<\/p>\n<p>Thinking you do shows doubt. KNOWING shows you\u2019re definite about deserving happiness.<\/p>\n<p>This is not just about the Law of Attraction. The more you KNOW you deserve happiness, the more you\u2019ll make an effort to get it and the less you\u2019ll tolerate things that don\u2019t make you happy. Just thinking you deserve happiness will not motivate much action to achieve it. <strong>You have to believe you&#8217;re entitled to feel happy, which YOU ARE! <\/strong>Oprah also said:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t have to wait to lose weight or make more money or be a better person on some level to deserve to be happy. You ARE worthy NOW! You\u2019re a child of God and that in itself makes you worthy! For me, the take away is to make a point of reminding yourself of how worthy you are. <strong>Repeat, \u201cI am worthy of being happy!\u201d<\/strong>&#8212;-often. Write it on post-it-notes or make bigger signs and put them in places where you\u2019ll see them often\u2014on a mirror, the fridge, the front door, etc.<\/p>\n<p>The more you remind yourself that you\u2019re worthy of being happy NOW, the more it will sink in and the more you\u2019ll do things to support that belief so you feel more happiness. When I was a DoorMat I didn\u2019t KNOW I was worthy. I sort of thought I should be but my self-image was so low I didn\u2019t really believe it. Happiness seemed like something I needed to earn but I didn\u2019t know how. I waited to be worthy, but never felt it. Now I know that just being alive makes me worthy.<\/p>\n<p>Gaining weight or making a mistake doesn\u2019t lower my worthiness!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Build your acceptance of your right to be happy.<\/strong> It is your birthright as a human being! Use affirmations to help it sink in and to override thoughts of being unworthy. When you focus on being worthy and reinforce it in your mind, eventually you\u2019ll begin to believe it. It took me a long time but now I know I\u2019m worthy of as much happiness as I can get. You can too. It begins with making an effort to accept your right to be happy.<br \/>\n************<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\"><strong>31 Days of <\/strong><strong>Self-Love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><a href=\"..\/2011\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-posts.html\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Oprah Winfrey\u2019s last show aired this week. It feels like forever that Oprah has been teaching us wonderful lessons about how to live our lives fully, and paths to develop real happiness. I was honored to do a whole hour on her show about how to be a nice person who can finish first, the&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,2,15],"tags":[74,973,73],"class_list":["post-1657","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-final-show","tag-happiness","tag-oprah-winfrey"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Listen to Oprah &amp; Be Happier! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Listen to Oprah &amp; Be Happier! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Oprah Winfrey\u2019s last show aired this week. It feels like forever that Oprah has been teaching us wonderful lessons about how to live our lives fully, and paths to develop real happiness. 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I was honored to do a whole hour on her show about how to be a nice person who can finish first, the&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2011-05-27T16:01:15+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-05-27T18:11:50+00:00","author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html","name":"Listen to Oprah &amp; Be Happier! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-05-27T16:01:15+00:00","dateModified":"2011-05-27T18:11:50+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/listen-to-oprah-be-happier.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Listen to Oprah &amp; Be Happier!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1657","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1657"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1657\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1660,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1657\/revisions\/1660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}