{"id":1617,"date":"2011-06-17T12:01:25","date_gmt":"2011-06-17T16:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1617"},"modified":"2011-05-06T11:57:58","modified_gmt":"2011-05-06T15:57:58","slug":"empower-your-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html","title":{"rendered":"Empower Your Words"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When I was a DoorMat I didn\u2019t think about what I said, except to try to say what others wanted to hear. As I left DoorMatville, I began to see how choosing my words carefully made a HUGE difference in how I came across. <strong>You can get much better results by monitoring the words you use<\/strong> and being vigilant about how people respond to them, so you can find others if you\u2019re not getting the response you\u2019d like. For example:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry that I can\u2019t help you\u201d<\/strong> (when you don\u2019t want to help!) can be, <strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry that you\u2019re disappointed that I can\u2019t help.\u201d<\/strong> Why apologize for not something you don\u2019t want to do? The first set of words invite more requests to compensate for your being sorry.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>\u201cCan you schedule some time to meet with me?\u201d<\/strong> can be <strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s a good time for you to meet with me?\u201d<\/strong> The latter shows you\u2019re expecting them to agree to meet with you instead of their first consideration being should they do it at all.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Below is a video that\u2019s a great example of the power of using the best words possible<\/strong> to get what you want. When you get to the end I know you\u2019ll be smiling, and enlightened!<\/p>\n<iframe title=\"The Power of Words\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Hzgzim5m7oU?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>********<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><a href=\"..\/2011\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-posts.html\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I was a DoorMat I didn\u2019t think about what I said, except to try to say what others wanted to hear. As I left DoorMatville, I began to see how choosing my words carefully made a HUGE difference in how I came across. You can get much better results by monitoring the words you&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[68,67],"class_list":["post-1617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-self-confidence","tag-words"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Empower Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empower Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I was a DoorMat I didn\u2019t think about what I said, except to try to say what others wanted to hear. As I left DoorMatville, I began to see how choosing my words carefully made a HUGE difference in how I came across. You can get much better results by monitoring the words you&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-06-17T16:01:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-05-06T15:57:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Empower Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Empower Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"When I was a DoorMat I didn\u2019t think about what I said, except to try to say what others wanted to hear. As I left DoorMatville, I began to see how choosing my words carefully made a HUGE difference in how I came across. You can get much better results by monitoring the words you&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2011-06-17T16:01:25+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-05-06T15:57:58+00:00","author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html","name":"Empower Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-06-17T16:01:25+00:00","dateModified":"2011-05-06T15:57:58+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/06\/empower-your-words.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Empower Your Words"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1617"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1621,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617\/revisions\/1621"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}