{"id":158,"date":"2009-01-02T10:51:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-02T10:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html"},"modified":"2009-01-02T10:51:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-02T10:51:00","slug":"how-i-gave-myself-love-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html","title":{"rendered":"How I Gave Myself Love Today"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s1600-h\/_MG_4184.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 200px;height: 134px\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s200\/_MG_4184.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>To start 2009 off on a loving foot, I&#8217;m posting something I give my clients who struggle with loving themselves. You may not love yourself right now but you can learn to with a conscious effort. Loving yourself is the BEST New Year&#8217;s gift you can give!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Self-help books encourage loving yourself, like a catchphrase. But doing it is the tough part.<\/span> It&#8217;s easy to say &#8220;You must love yourself,&#8221; but hard to figure out how to achieve that. It sounds so nice but can feel very elusive. Clients tell me, &#8220;but Daylle, I just don&#8217;t love myself.&#8221; Often they don&#8217;t understand what it means.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Loving yourself begins with consciously doing things for YOU that are loving. You don&#8217;t have to love yourself now to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>The more loving things you do for yourself, the more you get focused on being loving. The more you focus on being loving, the more fertile ground for love to grow. When I was a DoorMat, I had NO self-love. And I thought it was impossible to feel it. But as I began to treat myself more lovingly&#8211;being kinder about my inner messages, treating myself to more things I enjoyed, cutting myself slack on self-loathing or getting angry if I made a mistake, eating healthier, doing exercise, using nice skin care products, etc.&#8211;the more my head was able to wrap around loving ME. It took time and lots of conscious self-loving behavior. But I was able to eventually develop the strongest self-love possible.<\/p>\n<p>I NEVER thought it could happen. <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">If I could learn to love myself, so can you!<\/span> Yes, I learned by being loving. It made me feel good, so I did more and more.<\/p>\n<p>I suggest you copy the chart below that I give to my clients, and make copies for every week. Then make sure you fill it in every night or as you do things for you that show love. Keep it where you can see it as a reminder to be more loving.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">HOW I GAVE MYSELF LOVE TODAY<\/span><br \/>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Saturday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Sunday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Monday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Tuesday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Wednesday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Thursday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Friday<\/p>\n<p>___________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To start 2009 off on a loving foot, I&#8217;m posting something I give my clients who struggle with loving themselves. You may not love yourself right now but you can learn to with a conscious effort. Loving yourself is the BEST New Year&#8217;s gift you can give! Self-help books encourage loving yourself, like a catchphrase.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How I Gave Myself Love Today - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How I Gave Myself Love Today - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"To start 2009 off on a loving foot, I&#8217;m posting something I give my clients who struggle with loving themselves. You may not love yourself right now but you can learn to with a conscious effort. Loving yourself is the BEST New Year&#8217;s gift you can give! Self-help books encourage loving yourself, like a catchphrase.&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-01-02T10:51:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s200\/_MG_4184.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How I Gave Myself Love Today - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How I Gave Myself Love Today - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"To start 2009 off on a loving foot, I&#8217;m posting something I give my clients who struggle with loving themselves. You may not love yourself right now but you can learn to with a conscious effort. Loving yourself is the BEST New Year&#8217;s gift you can give! Self-help books encourage loving yourself, like a catchphrase.&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2009-01-02T10:51:00+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s200\/_MG_4184.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html","name":"How I Gave Myself Love Today - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s200\/_MG_4184.jpg","datePublished":"2009-01-02T10:51:00+00:00","dateModified":"2009-01-02T10:51:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s200\/_MG_4184.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SV48-5PV2pI\/AAAAAAAAAws\/US_hGIAkEns\/s200\/_MG_4184.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/how-i-gave-myself-love-today.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How I Gave Myself Love Today"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=158"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}