{"id":151,"date":"2009-01-08T11:52:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-08T11:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/fueling-your-dreams.html"},"modified":"2009-01-08T11:52:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-08T11:52:00","slug":"fueling-your-dreams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/fueling-your-dreams.html","title":{"rendered":"Fueling Your Dreams"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The economy is awful. People are losing hope. But you don&#8217;t have to! I&#8217;m delighted to have <span style=\"font-weight: bold\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.laurienadel.com\/\">Laurie Nadel<\/a>, Ph.D.<\/span>, a life coach, counselor, bestselling author and journalist, as my guest blogger today. Dr. Laurie has a wonderful technique for taking back your power. I&#8217;ve used this technique and it works. The economy may be bad but your life can still be good! Read on..<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center\"><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">What Happens When Your Dream Breaks Down?<\/span><br \/>By Laurie Nadel, Ph.D.<\/div>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SWY3tTOJu1I\/AAAAAAAAAxE\/8xMAlB3qgdY\/s1600-h\/drlaurie.gif\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 132px;height: 174px\" src=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SWY3tTOJu1I\/AAAAAAAAAxE\/8xMAlB3qgdY\/s200\/drlaurie.gif\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>As a reformed adrenaline junkie, it is all too easy for me to get swept away on a tide of e-words:  excitement, exuberance, enthusiasm, excellence, and euphoria.   For there is no high like living a dream come true.<\/p>\n<p>We adrenaline junkies know too well the post-euphoria let-down.  It\u2019s not exactly a crash. It\u2019s a physiological sensation of dry mouth, muscle cramping, and emotional fatigue.  Ripples of accomplishment often accompany those shaky muscles but you are still coming down.<\/p>\n<p>The communal ecstasy of Election Night has imprinted itself into our collective psyche as a series of images, phrases, and kinesthetic sensations that we can use to reboot our enthusiasm when the rituals and routines of everyday life reconvene.  <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">All you need to do is recall how you felt and step back into it as if you were living that dream again\u2026right here, right now. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Feel the power of those e-words: excitement, exuberance, enthusiasm, excellence, and euphoria.  Touch your ear or make a fist and say, \u201cYes, we can!\u201d   When the feeling fades,  shake out your hand, wiggle your shoulders\u2026and go back to work. <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Whenever you want a boost,  touch that same ear, make that same fist  and think the power phrase, \u201cYes, we can!\u201d  and you can magically reboot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Emotions are stored as molecules in your limbic system, also known as the emotional brain.  Those molecules are triggered by, say, the smell of roast turkey and pumpkin pie at Halloween, or a song that takes you back to a summer afternoon when you were in college.   This is equally true for pleasurable and painful emotions.  (If, like me, you want to understand the science behind this, please read Dr. Candace Pert\u2019s groundbreaking classic, <span style=\"font-style: italic\">Molecules of Emotion<\/span>.)<\/p>\n<p>This technique, called \u201canchoring,\u201d  gives you the power to change the channel. <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Instead of feeling frustrated or upset, you can use the anchor to signal your brain that it is time to change your emotional state to \u201cYes, we can.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It won\u2019t bring back your job, your house, or your investments.  Nor can just one anchor bring back all the confidence you had before your dream broke down.  That takes time, patience, and new ideas.<\/p>\n<p>I know something about that.  I lost everything in a recession in the late 1990\u2019s:  home, savings, marriage, job, and my health.  More to the point: I lost my self-esteem. I blamed myself for not being able to prevent the loss.  I felt like a failure.  I believed I would never regain the money or income that was drained away by an adjustable mortgage and escalated well beyond our ability to pay.  It was traumatic and isolating.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">A middle-class baby boomer, one of the most humiliating days of my life came when our family qualified for the free school lunch program.    This was not supposed to happen!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sharing this now because I know what it\u2019s like for you if you are in a similar position today.   Losing a job or a home is more complex than it may seem on the surface.  It is connected to your sense of survival and your sense of self-worth.  <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">If you feel like I did at the time, you may be questioning your ability to come back from this.<\/span> You may be angry because the dream you worked so hard to achieve has broken down.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">You may even feel depressed and overwhelmed because you do not know how to begin rebuilding. Where do you start?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>This is not meant to be trite.  You start with yourself.  Make a list of your fears and put it in a drawer. A year from now you will be surprised when you read it again.  What do you believe about yourself?  Make another list.   Now touch your ear, make a fist, and say, \u201cYes, we can.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My friend Ed   (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.whydriveyourselfcrazy.com\/\">www.whydriveyourselfcrazy.com<\/a>) likes to say, <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">\u201cHope is a walking dream.\u201d<\/span>  It is a paraphrase of Aristotle, who said, \u201cHope is a waking dream.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Why not take the first step?   Use your anchor at least five times a day!<\/span><br \/>It is the first step back to reclaiming yourself\u2026.and your dream.<br \/>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<br \/>Laurie Nadel, Ph.D. mentors women who need breakthroughs to achieve their dreams.<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.laurienadel.com\/\">www.laurienadel.com<\/a>  and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.unlockyoursixthsense.com\/\">www.unlockyoursixthsense.com<\/a> She is the host of \u201c<span style=\"font-weight: bold\">The Sixth Sense<\/span>\u201d radio show on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.webtalkradio.net\/\">www.webtalkradio.net<\/a> which reaches 70,000 listeners weekly.  Dr. Laurie blogs for <span style=\"font-style: italic\">The Huffington Post<\/span>. She was a columnist for <span style=\"font-style: italic\">The New York Times<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The economy is awful. People are losing hope. But you don&#8217;t have to! I&#8217;m delighted to have Laurie Nadel, Ph.D., a life coach, counselor, bestselling author and journalist, as my guest blogger today. Dr. Laurie has a wonderful technique for taking back your power. I&#8217;ve used this technique and it works. The economy may be&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Fueling Your Dreams - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/fueling-your-dreams.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fueling Your Dreams - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The economy is awful. People are losing hope. But you don&#8217;t have to! I&#8217;m delighted to have Laurie Nadel, Ph.D., a life coach, counselor, bestselling author and journalist, as my guest blogger today. Dr. Laurie has a wonderful technique for taking back your power. I&#8217;ve used this technique and it works. The economy may be&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/fueling-your-dreams.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-01-08T11:52:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SWY3tTOJu1I\/AAAAAAAAAxE\/8xMAlB3qgdY\/s200\/drlaurie.gif\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Fueling Your Dreams - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/fueling-your-dreams.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Fueling Your Dreams - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"The economy is awful. People are losing hope. But you don&#8217;t have to! I&#8217;m delighted to have Laurie Nadel, Ph.D., a life coach, counselor, bestselling author and journalist, as my guest blogger today. Dr. Laurie has a wonderful technique for taking back your power. I&#8217;ve used this technique and it works. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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