{"id":150,"date":"2009-01-05T15:18:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-05T15:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-love.html"},"modified":"2009-01-05T15:18:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-05T15:18:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/01\/law-of-attraction-in-action-love.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

b\"\"<\/a>
This is post 21 in my series on the Law of Attraction<\/span>, inspired by watching Louise Hay\u2019s, You Can Heal Your Life<\/span><\/a> the movie, expanded version. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a new year. A new beginning in some ways. One of the most common things I hear people resolve to get is LOVE. We all want love. I don\u2019t care who you are or what you think you need. Love is something that\u2019s important for developing happiness. Yet like happiness, LOVE is elusive to many people.<\/p>\n

People pleasers please and please in order to be liked, as they also hope to be loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was a DoorMat, I wanted love so badly that buying it with favors seemed worth the price to a completely insecure chick. So I pleased and pleased and pleased by doing favors, buying gifts, treating to meals and other things. That kept people around me, but I knew deep down why they were there. Since I didn\u2019t like myself, I assumed that\u2019s all I deserved, and settled for buying company. I tried not to think about how people probably liked what I did for them, not me as a person.<\/p>\n

The Law of Attraction picked up on what I did and I attracted more people who would be my friend for the perks<\/span> I gave\u2014users, insincere people, etc.<\/p>\n

My quest for love attracted the opposite. It was confusing. While I wanted love from friends, I desperately wanted to be loved by a man. My DoorMat tendencies were especially strong when I was with one. If I dated someone who didn\u2019t treat me well, I made excuses and hung in there. Then I\u2019d wonder why noone ever really loved me. It never occurred to me that I attracted a lack of love. Many of us do that. It\u2019s hard to attract real LOVE if you:<\/p>\n

* Don\u2019t love yourself<\/span>: In my post on Friday, How I Gave Myself Love Today<\/a>, I discussed how to be more loving to yourself in order to nurture more self-love. If you don\u2019t act loving to YOU, it sends a message to the Universe that you refuse love and it shouldn\u2019t come your way. So it doesn\u2019t!<\/p>\n

* Don\u2019t feel worthy of love<\/span>: If your thoughts and actions reflect that you don\u2019t feel you deserve to be loved, the Law of Attraction responds with keeping love from you. You\u2019ll attract those who don\u2019t love you, since that\u2019s what you put out as what you deserve.<\/p>\n

* Put your needs behind those of everyone else<\/span>: If you cancel your own plans or inconvenience yourself to please someone else, you\u2019ll keep attracting those situations. Treating yourself as a someone who doesn\u2019t need to get his or her needs met will keep you from getting your needs met! Again, the Law of Attraction responds to your thoughts and actions. Treating others a lot more lovingly than you do yourself tells the Universe you don\u2019t value your own needs and sets you up to NOT get the love you say you want<\/span>.<\/p>\n

* Indulge in self-trash talk<\/span>: You say you want love but talk to yourself harshly. How on earth can you attract love by doing that??! I called myself names if I wasn\u2019t perfect and had nasty thoughts about how I looked and who I was back in DoorMatville. Yet I craved love from friends, and to be loved by a guy. But just wanting something doesn\u2019t attract it! My actions and thoughts about me attracted unloving people. I wondered in misery why I didn\u2019t find love.<\/p>\n

* Have trouble receiving:<\/span> Many of us have trouble receiving goodies. When someone actually offered to do me a favor, or help me with something, or gave me a gift, I\u2019d often try to turn it down. DoorMats give to the point of crazy but have a hard time receiving even a little. If you tell people they don\u2019t have to help you or they shouldn\u2019t have gotten you something nice, you\u2019re also denying love.<\/p>\n

* Negate compliments<\/span>: In my DoorMat days, compliments were met with armor. I deflected them automatically. If someone said I looked thinner, I made excuses for it, like it was just the outfit, even if I knew I\u2019d lost weight. Denying nice things about you sends out the message that you don\u2019t want to be treated in nice ways.<\/p>\n

Since LOVE is especially nice, the Universe withholds it as per your instructions.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve heard it before\u2014probably a gazillion times\u2014but here\u2019s one more. If you don\u2019t give yourself love, why on earth should anyone else give it to you?<\/span> When you act unworthy of love, why would someone be attracted to love you?<\/p>\n

Pay attention to how you treat yourself. Do you act like you deserve to be loved? You may want love and need love and crave love and pray for love. But if you don\u2019t treat yourself lovingly, that\u2019s what the Law of Attraction will pick up on first<\/span> and bring it right back at ya with more people who don\u2019t love you for you!<\/p>\n

SHOW the Universe that you should attract love by being loving to YOU.<\/span> Consciously do loving things for yourself as I discuss in How I Gave Myself Love Today<\/a>. As you give yourself more love, you\u2019ll enjoy the nurturing things you do for yourself. That makes you feel better and puts the focus more on your well-being. The more you self-nurture, the more loving feelings develop and the better the message you send for the Law of Attraction to respond to.<\/p>\n

If you want to have loving friends and a loving romantic partner, give yourself love first.<\/span> Be a loving person to all but include YOU in that equation. Then let the Law of Attraction do its magic by responding to the love you send inward.<\/p>\n

Go to a mirror RIGHT NOW and say, \u201cI Love You!\u201d<\/span> Even if you don\u2019t feel it yet, practice makes perfect!<\/p>\n

Showing myself love reinforced my falling in love with me. It took time, deliciously loving time. But as you get more comfy about being loving to you, you WILL eventually fall in love with yourself. Then let the LOVE begin to come into your life from all directions as the Law of Attraction responds in kind. Now this former DoorMat truly loves herself. I never thought I\u2019d even like me, but now I feel a warm and fuzzy and delightful love toward me, cellulite and all! ?<\/p>\n

I LOVE ME! You can feel that way about yourself too! Give it a try!<\/p>\n

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.<\/a><\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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bThis is post 21 in my series on the Law of Attraction, inspired by watching Louise Hay\u2019s, You Can Heal Your Life the movie, expanded version. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! It\u2019s a new year. A new beginning in some ways. 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