{"id":1464,"date":"2011-05-23T12:01:45","date_gmt":"2011-05-23T16:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1464"},"modified":"2011-04-12T20:57:58","modified_gmt":"2011-04-13T00:57:58","slug":"question-why-do-i-feel-inadequate-at-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/question-why-do-i-feel-inadequate-at-work.html","title":{"rendered":"Question: Why Do I Feel Inadequate at Work?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently wrote about The Imposter Syndrome<\/strong><\/a>, Gia wrote to ask me why she didn\u2019t feel like she belonged in her job, like she was hiding her lack of credentials for doing the work she does, and does well. Everyone else has college degrees. She took a few courses and then dropped out. Gia began her work in an entry-level position and learned as she went. She gets regular promotions. Yet she still feels like she doesn\u2019t deserve to do what she does since she lacks the educational background.<\/p>\n

She feels almost ashamed of her lack of education and it\u2019s affecting her ability to do her job. She also avoids getting friendly with anyone because she\u2019s scared someone will ask about her education.<\/p>\n

The Imposter Syndrome <\/strong><\/a>is the feeling that you\u2019re being an imposter in your job or other situations because you don\u2019t feel like you deserve to be there or think you\u2019re good enough to do the job. What Gia asked is a form of this. Feeling this way is all in your head. Gia\u2019s colleagues have no problem with her. But she\u2019s insecure knowing about her lack of education and doesn\u2019t value her ability to learn just as well on the job.<\/p>\n

You are as capable, or incapable, as you think.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gia is making her lack of a college degree into a fault, which it isn\u2019t. She\u2019s obsessed over it so much she\u2019s now guilty about her lack of education compared to co-workers. Education doesn\u2019t define you. Nor does your looks or the quality of your romantic partner, or your skills, etc. YOU define you by how you think.<\/strong> To Gia she is inferior. To her colleagues, she\u2019s one of them. They accept her yet she can\u2019t accept herself.<\/p>\n

When I was a DoorMat I felt inferior in many ways, which pushed me to be pleasing to everyone. That wasn\u2019t healthy or even fair to me, but I saw me as not good enough to be treated right. I felt too fat to be good enough for what I wanted. Gia doesn\u2019t feel good enough for\u00a0 her job because she doesn\u2019t have what she sees as enough education.<\/p>\n

My advice is\u2014focus on the job you do, and continue to do what you want to improve.<\/p>\n

There are many educated people who do a lousy job. I have a B.A. as well as an M.S., yet most of the skills I’ve were learned from living, not in school. You are who you choose to be<\/strong>. If Gia chooses to be as good as anyone else at her job, she is. If she chooses to feel inferior, she is. Define yourself by what you have, not what you lack.<\/strong> Love yourself enough to give yourself credit for being terrific!
\n*****************<\/p>\n

Take the self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently wrote about The Imposter Syndrome, Gia wrote to ask me why she didn\u2019t feel like she belonged in her job, like she was hiding her lack of credentials for doing the work she does, and does well. Everyone else has college degrees. She took a few courses and then dropped out. 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