{"id":1460,"date":"2011-07-08T12:01:37","date_gmt":"2011-07-08T16:01:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=1460"},"modified":"2011-05-20T11:14:53","modified_gmt":"2011-05-20T15:14:53","slug":"spinning-negatives-into-positives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/07\/spinning-negatives-into-positives.html","title":{"rendered":"Spinning Negatives into Positives"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was recently driving home with a friend from a location that\u2019s normally a 45-minute drive. As we got to highway that was the final leg of my trip, traffic stopped. It felt like it took forever to reach what turned out to be a terrible accident. We were complaining about how long it would take to get home until we reached the scene of the accident. As I saw the crushed car and thought about what might have happened to its passengers, I turned to my friend and says, \u201cWe are so blessed that we were far enough back to not be part of this crash.\u201d My friend was a bit surprised at my words but then agreed.<\/p>\n

If you look for something good in a bad situation, you can find one and feel blessed instead of unhappy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I talked about spinning your perception of situations in my post, What\u2019s Your Story?<\/a> We spin everything we experience to be positive or negative. When you\u2019re in a negative mindset, how you see things usually gets the negative spin. The way you tend to spin becomes a habit. When I was a DoorMat, any time I saw even a hint of something not going the way I wanted I immediately began to complain, spinning it into a negative.<\/p>\n

After leaving DoorMatville, I knew I wanted to be happy. I recognized that if I kept reinforcing my DoorMat status I\u2019d never be free of it. So I began to look for the good in my life and focus on it. Whenever something went wrong, I\u2019d look for and eventually find something good that came of it. I remember hearing from a friend who told me how grateful she was to get severe food poisoning on vacation. Even I was stymied by that one until she explained that had she not been too sick to travel, she\u2019d have been on a plane that crashed.<\/p>\n

Look for the good in whatever circumstances don\u2019t go your way.<\/p>\n

You might not see it easily but there\u2019s always something to be grateful for in the midst of something negative. Like the song, \u201cLook for the Silver Lining\u201d says, there\u2019s always something good if you look<\/strong>. A few days after my friend drove me home when we got stuck behind the accident, he called me from his car one night. He said that a flurry of ambulances and emergency vehicles were going by and he suspected he might be stuck in major traffic for a while. But instead of getting aggravated like he normally would, he put on his headset to pass the time chatting with friends and reminded himself how blessed he was that he missed being in the accident.<\/p>\n

Get into the habit of always looking for a silver lining in whatever situations you\u2019re in. It truly does make getting through them a lot easier and keeps your spirit positive. Keep the faith that everything happens for a reason and your life is good\u2014as long as you choose to see it that way!<\/strong>
\n***********************<\/p>\n

Take the self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1460"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1652,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460\/revisions\/1652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}